HUMOR Digest - 21 Feb 1999 to 22 Feb 1999

Date: Sun, 21 Feb 1999 05:12:01 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: What's-a-matter You ?

While applying for a loan the Yuppette was asked if she lived within her income. "Certainly not !" she replied haughtily, "It's all I can do to live within my credit limits."

A lady called the TV repairman to come and look at her new giant screen TV. He asked what the problem was with it and she replied, "Well... the news anchor is on right now and he has a long face."

Impatiently the repairman replied, "Lady... if you had to report the news he does, you'd have a long face too."

The defense attorney was questioning the key witness: "Mr Anders, you're not telling the same story you did right after the shooting, are you ?"

"No sir." replied the witness.

"And why is that sir ?" asked the attorney.

"Well, you see, I was a-talkin' then. I'm swearin' now."

A telephone repairman had just installed some new equipment in the Pentagon and started to leave, but became lost in the maze of the building. After 15 minutes of fruitless searching for an exit, he walked into an office and asked the secretary, "How do I get outside ?"

She looked at his telephone repairman's uniform and snapped, "Just dial 9 silly."

While shopping, an older GrandMother-type woman spoke to a cute lil' girl: "How do you do my dear, how are you ?"

The lil' girl smiled and replied, "Fine, thank you." then started to walk away.

After a pause, the older woman said, "Aren't you going to ask me how I am ?"

"Nope." said the girl, "I ain't the least bit interested."

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page