HUMOR Digest - 26 Feb 1999 to 27 Feb 1999

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 03:24:49 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Twisted Lines

Sister to brother, coming home from school to an empty house:
"Mommie can't be too far away, the phone's still warm."

Did y'all hear about the "Dial-A-Prayer" telephone service for agnostics ?
You dial the number and no one answers.

Small boy on phone as sister rushes to grab the receiver:
"You got the wrong number. I ain't got no beautiful sister."

One psychiatrist has discovered a great way to get his female patients to talk freely --
he puts a phone in their hands.

After singing "Happy Birthday" the couple found they had reached a wrong number.

"That's OK." said the voice on the other end of the line, "You two can sure use the practice."

Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks ??? The doctor can't see me for three weeks ??? I could well be dead by then."

Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you have your wife call to cancel the appointment."

I recently called the IRS to order a tax booklet. The woman answered: "This is Kathy [Smith]. My ID number is [789123]."

I said, "This is Lieut Commander Jim Moore Jr, USN Retired. My ID number is [555-55-55]. My security clearance is Able-Charlie-One and the password for today is 'please'."

Thereafter followed 2-3 minutes of sustained hearty laugher. Then she informed me that in all her years of service no one had ever pulled such a stunt.

After I ordered the form, she said instead of the normal ten day wait for the booklet, I'd have it in two days. (I did !)

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