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HUMOR Digest - 14 Apr 1999 to 15 Apr 1999
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 04:53:08 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Rules for Dining Out
Rule number one: If you're traveling, never ever eat in any place called
"Mom's" -- well, unless the only other places in town to dine are named "Eats"
and "Dirty Harry's".
Rule number two: If you've entered a restaurant in the "Little Italy" section
of the town, and you've noticed all the waiters are wearing shoulder hostlers,
you'd better just leave.
Rule number three: If you're waiting in line to be seated at a nice restaurant,
you can always figure a wait of two hours or a twenty -- whichever comes
first.
Rule number four: If you're given a choice of tables by the maitre d'hotel,
my suggestion is that you always request one near a waiter.
Rule number five: If you notice that the tablecloth and the napkins are made
of a better material than any suit you own, you'd better hope your credit
card is not maxed-out.
Rule number six: If you're in a fancy restaurant & you find you cannot
pronounce some dish on the menu, chances are you probably can't afford it
either.
Rule number seven: If you've been served bread & rolls while awaiting
your meal, and you find the place is using a cheap substitute for margarine,
you'd probably better just leave.
Rule number eight: If you notice a bottle of Maalox along with a variety of other antacids among the condiments on the table, you'd probably better not order anything spicy.
Indexed UGA Humor Digests 1996-1999:
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