HUMOR Digest - 22 Apr 1999 to 23 Apr 1999

Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1999 03:25:36 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: How's that Again ?

The accountants suggested to Nero that he close down the Colosseum. "We're not making a drachma." they told him. "The lions are eating-up all the prophets."

Driving thru the mountains in West Virginia, a traveler pulls up to a rural gas station and asks, "Do you have a rest room here ?"

The local replies, "Nope. But we got an old rocker on the porch that's mighty comfortable."

I have a neighbor who's known for watching his money very carefully. After he and his wife made a trip to Hawaii, I asked how he enjoyed it.

"Too expensive Jim !" he replied. "See this tan ? It cost me $112.75 a square inch."

A lone golfer heard a man yelling and finally located him. The man was up to his knees in a sand trap and slowly sinking. He told the man, "Hang on, I'll save ya."

"Never mind that !" exclaimed the man. "Just hand me my wedge."

The distraught man was sitting at the bar "drowning his sorrows". A buddy came over and asked what was wrong.

"It's Jody." the drinker replied.

"Wait." said his buddy. "Just last month you told me that she said you'd won her heart."

"Yeah." said the guy, downing the rest of his drink. "Her heart belongs to me, but the rest of her keeps going out with other guys."

Indexed UGA Humor Digests 1996-1999:
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