HUMOR Digest - 24 Apr 1999 to 25 Apr 1999

Date: Sat, 24 Apr 1999 03:26:43 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Maryland State Highway

We had a student engineer one time who was the shyest young lady I'd ever met.
Every time she heard the word "intersection", she blushed.

The Senior Managers of the State Highway, long known for being able to talk out of both sides of their mouths at the same time, did have one advantage over the rest of us. They could give themselves mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Part of the recommended processes in any "Total Quality Management" plan is to assess "Risk Management". The Maryland State Highway hired a consultant to perform the study and after thee months they submitted their report: There was no risk of any management whatever.

The Administrator of the State Highway is appointed by the Governor of Maryland and is responsible for all of the State Highways. Once some jokester placed a bumper sticker on his car: "As a Matter of Fact, I DO own the Road." (The culprit was never identified)

At a retirement dinner, the Road Foreman said he was indeed fortunate. After 30 years of hard work and never missing a day, he said he was able to retire with a nice pension of $128,312 a year. The State Highway kicked in $ 3,312 and the Lottery contributed the rest.

I have a boss one time who was real big on "motivational signs". He placed a standard "Smile" sign outside his office door, complete with a smiley face. After hearing a number of "What's there to smile about" remarks, the sign was then replaced with a "Smile Anyhow !" sign, sans the smiley face.

Indexed UGA Humor Digests 1996-1999:
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