HOW COULD WASHINGTON BE A MARRIED MAN

by Piantadosi
as sung by Quinn, and M. J. O'Connell


When I was a kid at school
Learning the golden rule
Teacher often used to say
"If you don't tell a lie
There's not a reason why
You can't be like Washington some day."
No one knows how hard I tried to follow teacher's plan!
I did it up until the day I became a married man
But since that day
I'm sad to say
I cannot understand
How did Georgie do it?
Why doesn't some wise man get up and explain
Why doesn't he clear up my poor muddled brain
Why doesn't history
Clear up the mystery
Why doesn't somebody do it?
I'd like to think the tales about him were true,
But if he was a married man-- well, I'll leave it to you;
Say, how could Washington have been a married man
And never never tell a lie?

When I was a kiddie we
Had an old cherry tree
It was father's pride and joy.
One day he went to town
I thought I'd chop it down
Just like Mrs. Washington's dear boy.
When he came home late that night and missed his cherry tree
I said that I did it and he licked the stuffing out of me.
Yet Georgie got away with it as easy as could be!
How did Georgie do it?
Why doesn't some wise man get up and explain?
Why doesn't he clear up my poor muddled brain?
Why doesn't history
Tell us the mystery?
Why doesn't somebody do it?
The time he crossed the Delaware in that little boat...
I wonder what he said about the hair on his coat!
How could George Washington be a married man
And never never tell a lie?

He captured New York just to see all the sights,
But how about those weekend trips to Washington Heights?
How could Washington be a married man
And never ever tell a lie?
Old Georgie knew a thing or two, I'll agree;
He pulled that "Independence" just to set himself free!
Say, how could Washington be a married man
And never never tell a lie?
 

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