Last year when cousin Georgie from the country came to call I made him go along with me to see a game of ball. The players wrangled as to whom the umpire should be So I suggested that the team let Georgie referee. And Georgie did it. The crowd began to shout. A player ran to second base, and Georgie said, "You're out!" The captain said he wasn't; an argument took place, That evening a conductor came to pick up Georgie's face. Last night my folks were all asleep as quiet as a mouse When suddenly my mother said, "There's burglars in the house!" We held a hurried meeting, and I heard my father say, "Let Georgie go downstairs and chase those burglars away!" And Georgie did it. Oh yes, indeed, he did. With gun in hand he went to find out where the burglars hid. The burglars saw him coming. They didn't start to run. Instead, they stole his silk pajamas, then they stole his gun. The other night we went to see a melodrama play The first act showed just how the leading lady ran away The villain soon pursued her and he almost drove her wild Till in despair, she shouted out, "Won't someone save my child!?" And Georgie did it! He made the villain stop. He said, "Release her instantly, or I will call a cop!" The villain said, "You rummy! This acting isn't real!" Then Georgie said, "Oh! Pardon me! Imagine how I feel!" One day I took our old mule Maud and hitched her to the cart But when I got up on the seat the mule refused to start. I whipped her, but she wouldn't move, and I became so sore, That I asked Georgie, "Go and tickle Maudie with a straw". And Georgie did it. He went and did it quick. But Maudie didn't like it and she made an awful kick. Georgie went a flying away up in the air A half an hour later he was found in Delaware. Inside a telegraphic office on St. Patrick's day A message was received to be delivered right away. 'Twas for the chief Hibernian, they sent it C.O.D., But someone had to take the message and collect the fee. And Georgie did it, but what an awful thing! The message that he brought contained these words: "God Save The King!" The gang all grabbed shellaighleaies, And George turned white as starch; Then someone kicked poor Georgie on the seventeenth of March.
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