The United States and France have very different cultures on how they look at assistance and independence. Since the United States is based on the foundations and values of rugged individualism, when a disabled person asks for help especially if the disability is neurological and if the person is intelligent, does not use any assistive devices and the person may not "look very disabled",other people may resist assistance.Rugged individualism is fine for increasing self-reliance and responsibility but yet there needs to be a balance of sensitivity toward people with these neurological disabilities who need assistance. The person with the neurological disability who asks for arm assistance, may be perceived as "using their disability as an excuse" or as not really needing the requested assistance. Common disabilities that may experience this kind of prejudice are mild cerebral palsy,
any general neurological impairment, visual/spatial/perceptual disabilities, other motor coordination disabilities of a neurological nature and in some cases people with multiple sclerosis and traumatic brain injury. The assistance that may be requested may be arm assistance over distances (even if terrain is flat as they may have difficulty negotiating distances), hilly, rocky, or sandy terrain, steps, inclines etc, or assistance in carrying food, carrying other items or even cutting bagels or other difficult foods.
For the mobility issues, one may ask why such individuals do not use a cane or other device. Unfortunately some people due to perceptual and motor deficits, cannot negotiate use of a cane or other device. Also arm assistance by a person, for those of you who have taken High School Physics know that the person can give more of the needed center of gravity, and can create a better equilibrium for the gravitational intertial forces the disabled person has difficulty with more than a cane or other device can. Also a person's size and mass, (including atomic mass and atomic weight in the aggregate), creates an increased ability for stability for the disabled person more than a skimpy device ever could.
In the comparison between France and the United States, since France is based on a more paternal culture which in some cases may not be better (as in the overuse of welfare benefits)at least in the case of assisting people with disabilities, French are more willing. In France, it is not seen as "not being independent" if a neurologically impaired person asks for arm assistance. When I was in France, lecturing at L'universite d'Orsay, they were happy to provide me such assistance since due to my neurological disabilities, is required. However, in the United States, there is the mindset that you should not assist
because that is teaching "independence". Remember, independence is not being able to do everything without assistance. Independence is being able to control who assists you, how they assist and to make your own decisions and take charge of your own life. This is how the Disability Rights Movement as well as the culture of France sees independent living. Certain disabilities impair certain neurological functioning so "forcing independence" is not going to miraculously regain that functioning. The Only one that can create such a miracle is God, not any human!
To understand more about dealing with people with disabilities in different cultures click here. Here is a great site on speaking up for the assistance you need and being a good self advocate. Here is also information on international disability policy and peer support networks.
Of course when assisting someone, there are some common sense issues that those who assist must be made aware of. For example, always ask how to assist before assisting. Always offer and wait for instructions. Do not just grab a person and if the person uses a device or a wheelchair, such items are part of their personal space and should be respected as such.
Other common etiquette issues to understand when dealing with people with disabilites, are to use the same idiom expressions to people who are blind and deaf such as "I hear ya", or "See you later", as they use them too. Also treat people with disabilities as people with likes, dislikes and basic human qualities of everyone else. If a person is speech impaired, do not finish their sentences, have patience and ask them to repeat to show that you value what they have to say. For people with retardation or intellectual disabilities use concrete sentences and treat them as adults which they are. In addition, if someone with a perceptual or a learning disability asks you to write down directions or to accompany them so they do not get lost, please do so with graciousness and patience. They will be eternally grateful to you. All of these etiguette issues covered in this page can be applied to the US and France and also to all countries and cultures. However since the US needs more education on how assistance does not make one less independent, this lesson is mainly addressed to my American compatriots. For more information on disability etiquette click the website of the Eastern Parlyzed Veterans Administration and the United Cerebral Palsy Association .
© Copyright 1999 Reagan-Lorraine Lavorata
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