The Random House Dictionary of the English Language Second Edition Unabridged lists 23 variables for the definition of the word cock. Unfortunately for anyone who has this word as their surname, Yahoo!, the e-mail address provider (and coincidentally the host of this website), recognizes only one of the 23 variables---the one that is defined as "slang (vulgar) a.penis b.sexual relations with a man", and thereby according to Yahoo! standards cock may be taken only one way--obscenely.

Pity. I and I'm sure Anna Cock and her family do not share the view that that word is an affront to one's sensibilities and should be rejected.

Anna Cock, an Australian, journalist, and recent arrival to New York City, only wanted what most Americans consider to be one of life's basic necessities---an e-mail address.

Ms Cock's byline appears in "America's oldest continuously published daily newspaper" THE NEW YORK POST. It was here that I read about her dilemma. Upon reading her column I began to wonder how was she fairing after a traumatic incident. Namely: an ISP rejection for an e-mail address. The reason: her legal name was not acceptable by Yahoo!'s standards. "First and last name combination not allowed. This combination not allowed. This combination is restricited for use by Yahoo! or is considered obscene". This was the message that greeted her rather than welcome.

I had to learn more about this woman and her non acceptable member name.

Yahoo! had not been her first choice. Hotmail, which is servicing Anna, was her first choice, but when she initially tried to access them, they were down. Hey it happens.

So she tried to hook up with Yahoo!, only to be denied.

It was at the innocent age of 4 when the sweet and charming Anna first realized her name's potential for being problematic. Sitting in a classroom attentively watching the teacher as she wrote the children's names on the blackboard. As the teacher wrote "A.Cock", the little boy seated next to Anna announced for all to hear "that means penis".

Thus began a lifetime of giggles and double entendre at just the mention of her name. But at least 'Down Under' where there are many Cocks, the teasing was good natured. Stateside the mention of her name usually results with a reaction of "horror" or "disbelief" and repeated explanations of "yes that really is my real name". Understandably, reservations are usually made using a friend's name.

In the interim of negotiating with Yahoo!, Hotmail did become available and welcomed Ms Cock with open bandwith. I couldn't resist asking if she'd considered legal action against Yahoo!. We shared a laugh about the US being "the land of litigation", but no, she would not be adding to the court's calendar.

On a personal note, if Anna Cock marries, she does not plan to eschew her maiden name. Anna's favorite flowers are the Sunflower and the Cornflower.

I wonder if she knows another name for the Cornflower is Corn Cockle.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Due to the recent merger of Yahoo! with Geocities there was a delay in getting this story to publication. A few glitches still are cropping up with the server (witness the latest memberhelp message boards). We are hopeful that all will again be running smoothly soon, and in the meantime wish all the homesteaders good luck & hang in there.