IN LOVING MEMORY OF ROLAND KANDLE

November 14,1949-January 8,2002

Roland Kandle was many things to many people. He was a Vietnam Veteran, retired Career Firefighter, part time fire marshall for nine towns in south Jersey, The director of the New Jersey CISM Team, my best friend and the love of my life. He gave his heart and soul to CISM. Through his teaching and responding to critical incidents he changed many lives, including mine. Roland taught me to love myself and that I was important. He was always there for me. He taught me how to love again and to be loved unconditionally. He changed my life forever and for that I will always love him. He truly was angel. I had the pleasure of watching him teach others about CISM and the passion he had for it. His dream will live on in those he has touched. We only had a short time together but those three years were the best years of my life. I can carry those memories with me forever. I will miss you always.

Roland was always there for everyone. He never minded when someone would call. He would drop everything to go and help. He always told whoever he spoke to call me anytime. Unlike other people he meant it.

He took great pride in his team. He told us that there was no I in team. We are one big family the successes we had was because we did it together. He had great faith in those he trained, "I trained you, you can handle anything!" He was right.

On September 1l, 2001, Roland called everyone to put them on alert we were going to be needed. He told everyone to be patient we will get the call. He called September 12th and told us to start up to the Port Authority, at Journal Square. About 10 of us went up to access what was happening. He told me I am staying behind to call more people. That had to be the hardest thing he has ever done. He needed to stay put so that if we needed more people he could send them.

After severals hours at Ground Hero, I called him and told him this isn't going to be a one day thing. He just laughed at me and said I already know. Then he spoke the most wonderful words I ever heard, "Do you need me to come up and help?" I must have screamed into the phone "yes please", because he began to laugh and say I am on my way. When he arrived he asked me what I thought would be needed. My advice was a 24/7 presence. He had already decided this but wanted to see what I thought. At this point it was about 23:00 hrs., he made me go home and he would talk to the command and call me in the morning.

In the morning he told me that Friday we would start a 24/7 command. That is exactly what we did. We began to stay up at the command center. The whole team was sleeping on cots and then going out and working. Being the great leader he was he only took cat naps so the rest of us could sleep. We tricked him one morning. He asked to be woke up in two hours, six hours later we woke him up. Needless to say he was not happy but he was rested. Finally, there were rooms given to the team. We could take showers. Something that everyone takes for granted, but we all were never so happy to see water. It gets to the point you cannot stand yourself. We can joke now about those first days but it was difficult. We all knew though if Roland was running things it would be ok.

Our Command was open for 110 days when we shut down for a break on New Years Day. Roland had decided the team needed a break. More important Roland needed one. One week from the day we closed the command, Roland died. I guess he knew we were going to need the month to recover. All of us were devastated. The day of his viewing we could not believe the amount of people who were filing in and out. What we didn't know was that the next day there would be twice that many people. Our team showed up in force. Roland would have been proud of us. As we were waiting to go into the Church, we were waiting for the Pipers to play. One of the Port Authority pipers stepped out of line and played directly to the team. They were playing the song "Going Home". All of us stood together arm in arm hand in hand. He would have been proud.

Roland always told us to take care of ourselves and get plenty of rest. When we would get on him about it he would just say "After I am dead I will get plenty of rest". Well my love, REST IN PEACE.

SILENT HERO HELPS TO BIND COMMUNITY

The faceless presence of heroes is often felt and not seen. Heroes like our own Roland Kandle are the Matrix that bind our diverse community together. When the act, they do not see race, color or creed.

They only react to the presence of a situation in need of resolution. They certainly are not acting to seek recognition of rewards from those that they touch. The reward is in the doing of the act not in the receiving of the often given recognition.

Roland is one of our local heroes. He does not rest after making his presence felt in Cumberland County community. His heart contributes to the September 11 disaster with its untamed beat. Enlisted by the NY/NJ Port Authority, he has unselfishly volunteered his time coordinating the New Jersey Critical Incident Stress Management Team. He coordinated teams from across the United states and Canada that came to help at "Ground Hero", lending emotional support to emergency service workers.

Roland was able to impact so many through his acts of compassion and love, he is truly an angel of God.

Roland Kandle's heroism will not end when he does because his actions will act as seeds that will germinate in the hearts of other silent heroes.

Written By: Vineland "Downtown Board of directors" With a few Changes.

The Daily Journal, Saturday December 1, 2001.

HOW DO YOU LIVE YOUR DASH

I read of a man who stood to speak At the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on his tombstone From the beginning…to the end. He noted that first came his date of birth And spoke the following date with tears, But he said what mattered most of all Was the dash between those years (1935-1999) For that dash represents all the time That he spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved him Know what that little line is worth. For it matters not, how much we own; The cars…the house…the cash. What matters is how we live and love And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard… Are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left. That can still be rearranged. It we could just slow down enough To consider what’s true and real, And always try to understand The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger. And show appreciation more And love the people in our lives Like we’ve never loved before. If we treat each other with respect, And more often wear a smile… Remembering that this special dash Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read With your life’s actions to rehash… Would you be proud of the things they say And how you spent your dash?

Linda Ellis, copyright 1998

SOMEONE SPECIAL IN MY LIFE

By Timothy Cranmer

Someone Special in my life perhaps the most difficult of all decisons for me to make. Of all the significant People in my life, my mother, my girlfriend Leslie, and my two best friends Phil and Steve, it is very hard to choose. But if there is one person I had to choose it would be my friend Roland. Roland is a friend and at times a father figure that I really have not had until recently, but he was there all along.

Since childhood there has been the drive to become a firefighter, but Roland has opened my mind to bigger things than just volunteer fire fighting. Roland is my reason for choosing fire fighting as a career and not just something that I do. Roland is a retired firefighter of 26 years and is now a fire marshall for most of southeastern New Jersey.

Roland treats me like I'm his very own son as well as a friend. Roland even bonds with my friends. He always has an impact on Phil's behavior, he reallly messes with Big Phil, but it is all in fun. They constanly pick back and forth at each other.

Roland Kandle is truly a wonderful friend, human being, and of course firefighter. Unfortunately his time with us is limited because 2 years ago he was diagnosed with lung cancer, which I'm sad to say will eventually take his life. I can't and won't imagine a life without him. No one whom Roland has graced with his presence will ever forget one of the greatest people in existence.

Tim is my son and he wrote this paper January 7,2002. His teacher wrote on his paper these remarks. "How very lucky you have been to know someone like Roland. I'm sure he feels the same towards you. Ms. H."

In Memory of Roland Kandle..... To The Port Authority and his close friends and relatives.

His heart is filled with love His body is provided with strength His soul is covered in armor

You lay there and cry Yet you look up and wonder why

You should know this though He died for our flag,our country,the USA But most of all he died for "US"

Here's the one good part of someone dying "Now you have one more angel to look over you"

You will remember him forever but forget him never.

Written by Michael Rice 12 yrs old
Michael is the Son of Bob Rice one of our Team members. When Michael heard of Roland's passing, he went into his room wrote this poem then presented it to his father. What a wonderful gift his gave his dad.

I met Roland via telephone in March 2001, I called him after finding out that the Jackson Police Department had lost Officer Robbie Ventura. I called the NJPBA to ask them what type of support system there was for the wives and families of the other officers in Jackson, for Jen (Robbie's wife) I told them that we didn't know what to do for the officers or what to do for Jen and her kids, they told me that there was no support system. But before hanging up the phone the woman gave me Roland's' phone number and told me that maybe he could help me out.

That phone called changed my life. I spoke to Roland a few minutes later, he told me he was glad that I had called, that he had wanted to get family support into the NJCISM, thought it was a wonderful idea, that he couldn't wait to meet us (the families from Jackson) and that everything would be just fine. After hanging up the phone with him I really honestly knew that everything would be OK. Before speaking with Roland I was just the wife of a police officer, after hanging up the phone with him I knew that I was involved in a family. We started a support group of our own in Jackson (F. I. L. E. S. - Families Involved in Law Enforcement Support) - some of the people involved really didn't like the name, but Roland did! We had a few meetings and I spoke primarily of Roland and NJCISM - the man inspired me like no one has ever done before! I kept in touch with Roland and kept him informed.

On September 16 I opened an e-mail from Roland, he asked if I could get some of the ladies together and get to Jersey City to help out. Two hours later Lisa Cipully, Jennifer Ventura and I were on the way, not knowing what we were in for! AND FINALLY I met Roland and even though I was nervous about going to the city (and believe me I was nervous until I got out of the police car and put on my hard hat) As I crossed the street and stood in front of a National Guardsman, I found myself calm. That calm came not from me knowing that I could do it, but from Roland knowing I could do it.

I wish I could have been in his presence more and I truly mean that because Roland had it, presence and then some!! I am truly blessed in knowing him, for being able to say he was my friend and for having memories of Roland (all of them fond) that will live in my heart with a smile.

Written by

Ellen Cunningham

Wife of a Police Officer and a member of the NJ CISM TEAM.

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