April 3, 1997
St Kilda
8:20am
Today was a pretty boring crap day. At least it was cool, and overcast out so I didn't have to have a crap day that was hot too.
I sent my Mum a thankyou card today. I haven't ever done anything like that before. I was lost for words. I knew what I wanted to say, and how much I wanted to make sure she knew how much I appreciated everything she does, but it wouldn't come out right. So I put down as much as I could think of that sounded ok, and posted it. I wonder if she'll say anything in response.
I have problems in approaching my parents (well anyone for that matter) but them specifically. I tend to get very emotional, and affected by things that go on related to them, most importantly events that involve me asking them for something, me accepting help from them, it all just makes me go to pieces.
I can't explain it, I have worked on it in therapy, done my own work on it, and I'm no closer to solving it. It's crazy really, because I'm usually unemotional in my day to day doings. I am usually tough and assertive, and I get what I want or ask for. But they can still turn me to jelly
I still haven't paid the bills. One red one has already come in. Scott is going to find out soon and hit the roof.
Sarah rang from Beijing - she's freezing her great big butt off! Thank god common sense prevailed when she was packing, and seven of the eight extra pairs of shoes came out of the suitcase, replaced by a warm jacket and scarf. She visits the Great Wall this weekend.
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