I Want Pizza27 April, 1997
Penny Royal Rasperry FarmLately Scott and I have been picking at each other. Little fights that lead to big blow ups. Small things that seem to spark off wild fires. I have been working so many hours lately, 60hours last week and it looks like the same next week. He's grumpy and I'm tired all the time. I'm not sure what's up with him yet, but I wish he'd just say something.
I wanted pizza tonight, and he didn't. So we had a huge fight the ended in tears (his not mine) over whether or not he was going to come with me to pick it up. We live downtown, so I didn't want to go out to the pizza joint at midnight. But he wouldn't come because he didn't want pizza. I couldn't understand it. He's never acted like this before. I just don't know what is wrong.
The other day after three nights of no sleep, preceeded (on both days) by working 1pm - midnight, then on the third night working that shift, and having to get up the next morning at 5:30 am to be in there at 6:45am. I was a mess. I came home at about 12:40am, and was petrified that if I went to sleep, I'd sleep so heavily (after so many nights of no sleep) that I wouldn't get up in time to be at work at 6:45am. So I tossed and turned, restless and awake. But so tired and wrung out. Finally I saw 3:45 on the clock, and I started to cry, then I dropped off.
Scott grabbed me at 6:15am, screaming "It's quarter past six!", I leapt from bed, SCREAMED, and got on the phone to the night person, jumped in the shower, and got there 20 minutes late. I was ok during the day, and worked until 5pm. A very long day. I looked forward to coming home to sleep. But as soon as I got home I started crying again, there were messages on the voice mail, nothing for dinner, two hungry cats, and a graveyard shift looming six hours away. I don't think I've ever been so tired in my life. So tired, and utterly unable to cope with anything. I just wanted to curl up and sleep for a week.
Funny enough I went down to sleep about 5:30pm, and slept until 10pm. The longest stretch of sleep I'd had in three nights. I felt great and had a really good night shift.
Fortunately I only had to get through all of these shifts and then Friday would come and I could go on holiday. I'm here now. Resting and sleeping. Getting myself human again, for the onslaught of work to come next week.
I am a casual employee. So I work the hours that I get given, and get paid by the hour for those hours worked. I get no sick, holiday or other pay. I only get paid if I work. so work every hour that comes my way. There is a pool of about 10 casuals at my work, some have been there for years, and others (like myself) who have been there for only 6 months or so. When I first started there, the company was nowhere as busy as it is now. It is undergoing a period of rapid growth at present. Anyhow. When we started, all ten casuals got three shifts a week, two fours and an eight. This worked well and everyone was happy. Then another department, similar to ours but with a different focus opened up, and our own department got a shitload of new clients and everyone got so busy that there was work coming out of everyone's ears.
Unfortunately most of the casuals, who had been there for years didn't make themselves available for any of the new work that flooded in. Except myself and Ashley. We worked our buts off, filling in for people, working in both departments, working days and nights and graveyard. As much as was asked of us. They kept asking because we work well and we are flexible. Our employers have never been happier with us, but the backlash has begun. Our workmates are turning. "No one asks us to work, just Karyn or Ashley.", "Why don't we get any of this work?" Oh so innocently they ask these questions, with such looks of pain and mistreatment on their faces. It kills me and makes me so angry. I work my ass off to get where I am.
You get what you deserve, and nothing more. In the same way you get what you ask for, and in some way you will be made to pay for it.
Time will tell. There is a lot of moving and shaking at work of late, it will be awhile before the dust settles and we see who's left standing.
Say it Scarlett, say it like you did in the movie, "Tomorrow is another day"
I'm gonna go sleep now. Need. More. Sleep. Must. Sleep. OOOOooaaahhh. zzzzz
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