I get in a fug like this every now and then. What is for awhile fast paced, enjoyably demanding go-go-go life, falls down and I crumble. Today I sit here, beginning to crumble. I know that this happens for everyone, but when it's happening to you, its always the worst thing in the world, and you feel like the only one.
I love Geocities. It's free and that's good. Save shelling out more of the hard earned sheckels, I wouldn't be able to have a homepage. And I feel like a heel saying it - but Geocities is pissing me off! Sorry. They keep losing all my files, locking me out of my directory, and their "advanced" homepage editor keeps "grok"-ing my files, stretching and warping them. I am finding it frustrating.
Presently my concentration is a little lacking in the length and intensity department, and having to deal with an unruly editor does not help. I'm sorry, but it skewed my brand new homepage when I tried to add the "Open Pages" control strip. Now it's all bent out of shape, and I'm frustrated god dammnit, or however you spell it.
I think Geocities may have some sort of algorithm/crawler that searches their resident pages for refs and then they read them, and I'm sure to be summarily banished forever.
In any case at the moment I know that my Fractal Vision pages sux, but I'm getting around to fixing it. Perhaps even "de-purple-ing" it. I don't know. You never know your luck in a big city.
I put up a short entry today, that I did yesterday. I wanted the text (etc) to be in colours, but it just wouldn't work, so I only got as far as the quote. The quote is btw from Homer's Odyssey. Which I have adopted as my sort of bible. I try and read from it each day. There's something about epic battles, strong men, women as gods, adventures, mystery, lust, incest, murder and all sorts of convoluted story lines that makes my mouth water. The quote I put up yesterday is from the beginning of the Odyssey when Telemachos is trying to get together a crew to go out and find news of his father Odysseus, and this then becomes the starting point for the telling of the whole story.
Once when I was spiralling on the depression slippery-dip, the book fell open and there was this quote, the first thing my eyes focussed on. All the (then very serious) thoughts of suicide and what-not left my mind as I realised that it was possible to believe in something other than yourself, and whether in the readily accepted god/religion of the time, or a system of beliefs from the ancients - it didn't matter. Believing was enough, and inspiration could come from anywhere.
There and I though that I was too wrung out to write anything. I am sleeping today and tomorrow, then working on Thursday, then grave-yarding on the weekend. Shoulder to the grindstone again.
I leave you with this, make of it what you may. It is a fitting close for a journal entry I believe. Well except for the evil aliens bit.
'Now is a better time to interrogate our guests and ask
them who they are, now they have had the pleasure of eating.
Strangers, who are you? From where do you come sailing over the watery
ways? Is it on some business, or are you recklessly roving
as pirates do, when they sail on the salt sea and venture
their lives as they wander, bringing evil to alien people?'Book III (69-75)
The Odyssey of HomerPS. So the colours are working today, huh? Go figure. Yuk colours even, but I'm not going to fiddle, it'll get me nowhere.
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