This story is intended to be a compliment to Azusa
Shiratori's upcoming Ranma 1/2 "Outta Control" episode
(Hey, if Azusa gets her own episode, her partner should
get one too! ^_~)
*****
'First there are kisses, then there are sighs;
And then, before you know where you are,
You're sayin' goodbye.'
("The Crying Game", sung by Boy George)
Ranma 1/2 Fanfic:
"The Kissing Game"
by Cherryne Edejer
Part One: "The Return of the Kissing Bandit"
Somewhere in downtown Nerima, a young man impeccably
dressed in a pale green suit walked down the street. He
was well aware of the admiring gazes given to him by the
young ladies, not to mention a couple from the not so
young.
Just up ahead in his path, a girl wearing a high school
uniform dropped her books. As she fumbled to pick them
up, a faint smile appeared across the young man's face.
He strolled up to the student and knelt beside her.
"Need a hand?" he asked casually, reaching for a book.
"Uh, yeah..." She turned to face the speaker, and her
voice trailed off. The few books she had managed to pick
up fell out of her hands. The boy's smile grew a little
wider.
In one fluid motion, he swept up the girl's
books in one hand, and helped her to her feet with the
other. Then he presented the books to her. "Yours, I
believe."
She accepted them shyly. "Um, yes. Thank you."
"No trouble at all. Miss...?" He raised an eyebrow
questioningly.
"Yuka."
"Yuka. And my name is Mikado. Mikado Sanzenin." The
girl's eyes widened.
"The famous skater?" He raised his eyebrows in mock
surprise.
"Ah, you've heard of me, then?" Mikado
continued his polite conversation, patiently awaiting an
opening so he could move in for the kill...
***
"Say Ranma, isn't that Yuka over there?" asked Akane.
Ranma peered at the girl Akane was pointing at, noting
that she was wearing the same Furinkan uniform as his
fiancee.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Well, I've been trying to get her attention, but she
hasn't noticed." Ranma snorted.
"Well, of course not, Akane. She's got that guy hanging
all over her." He stared at the two for a moment, then
frowned.
"Oh, no. Not *him*..." muttered Ranma. He began to
stride up to the couple.
"Wait! Ranma, what's wrong?" asked Akane. She ran after
her fiance. Trying to keep up with him, she only paused
a moment to gaze at the boy her schoolmate was with. Her
eyes widened.
"Mi... Mikado Sanzenin! What's *he* doing here?"
"I don't know," Ranma said gritting his teeth, "But I'm
sure as hell gonna find out."
***
The plan was proceeding perfectly. Mikado reeled in the
girl as only he knew how, and was now going in for the
coup de grace: the kiss.
"Yo, Maniacal Sex-Fiend!"
Mikado froze in mid-kiss. There was only one person who
would address him in such an atrocious manner. He turned
around, confirming his suspicion. There was Ranma
Saotome, obnoxiously waving at him. He made it painfully
clear that he was addressing Mikado and nobody else. As
Ranma walked up to him, Mikado managed to rein in his
temper.
"So we meet again, Mr. Saotome." he replied cooly. "And
the name is Mikado Sanzenin." His expression bore no
indication of his annoyance, except for the vein
throbbing in his head.
"Sorry, didn't quite hear you there, Mental Sufferer,"
replied Ranma pleasantly. Mikado fumed. While the latter
was distracted, Akane approached her friend.
"Is that guy bothering you?" she asked. Yuka blushed.
"Oh no," she replied. "He was just... Helping me out..."
"Really...? Well, I wouldn't trust him, if I were you."
Yuka stared at Mikado wistfully.
"But he's such a hunk!" Akane nearly facefaulted.
"Yeah, well..." Akane took a quick glance behind her.
Certain she was out of earshot of both Ranma and Mikado,
she leaned in close to her friend. "That guy kissed
Ranma, you know." Yuka looked horrified.
"No!" Akane nodded solemnly.
"Ew, gross!" Yuka ran off, leaving clouds of dust in her
wake. Meanwhile, Mikado was glaring at Ranma.
"How dare you interrupt me!"
"Oh, don't let me stop you," said Ranma with a smirk.
"Go right ahead." Mikado smiled in satisfaction.
"So, Saotome. It seems you have learned some manners,
after all." He turned around. "Forgive the interruption,
my dear. Let us continue where we left off..." His voice
trailed off, as he suddenly discovered that his intended
victim had disappeared. A large sweat droplet appeared
on his head.
"Lose somethin', Sanzenin?" Ranma grinned. Mikado was
about to give Ranma a piece of his mind when he realized
his ticket to salvaging the situation was also standing
before him. He approached Akane, who watched him warily.
"You are Akane Tendo, are you not? Such a pleasure to
see you again." He took her hand. Akane tried not to
recoil, and Ranma tried to resist shoving Sanzenin's
face through a wall. Mikado continued, a glint entering
his eye.
"It is a shame I was never able to kiss you, though...
Allow me to rectify this *now*."
Unfortunately, Mikado's seduction was cut short by an
uppercut.
"In your *dreams*, pal!" snarled Akane. Mikado sailed
into the stratosphere. Ranma watched him 'leave'.
"Welp. That takes care of that. Let's go home, Akane."
***
Ranma and Akane walked together in silence, until the
latter had managed to calm down. Finally, Akane said,
"He hasn't changed."
"Yeah. That Sanzenin's still a skirt-chasin' creep,"
snorted Ranma in disgust. Akane cast him a sideways
glance.
"*You're* one to talk."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think it means, womanizer?"
"At least I'm not an uncute, boy-hating, tomboy!"
"Hey! Would you rather he kissed me, then?" she
retorted. Ranma trailed off.
"Uh... Well..." Much to Akane's surprise, he stopped
taunting her. Then Ranma asked, "Say, how did you get
Yuka to leave so fast, anyways?" Akane blushed.
"Um..."
"C'mon, you can tell me."
"It's none of your business!" she said rather sharply.
"Oh, I get it. It's one of those feminine things, isn't
it?" Akane breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the
subject was dropped. Too bad Ranma chose to mutter
"Stupid girl" under his breath.
"What did you say?!"
Meanwhile, Mikado observed the bickering couple from a
distance, looking surprisingly unharmed. The thought of Akane
also crossed his mind, and he smiled.
Just then, a pretty girl passed in front of Mikado. His
eyes followed her. He began to walk after
the girl, the faint smile hovering on his lips.
*****
A bell rang at the front door of the Tendo residence.
"I'll get it." Nabiki strolled to the foyer, casually
munching a bag of shrimp chips. She opened the door. On
the other side stood Mikado, carrying a bouquet of roses.
There was a barely perceptible sizing up from both
parties: Nabiki probably deciding if he was loaded or
not, and Mikado trying to figure whether or not she was
kissing material.
"Yes?" asked Nabiki. She looked the new visitor up and
down, evaluating the cut and value of his clothing.
"How may I... Help you?" Mikado took in his hostess's
chin-length hair and tight-fitting shorts, and came to
his own decision. A slow smile appeared on his face.
"Ah, yes. My name is Mikado Sanzenin. I'm looking a Mr.
Ranma Saotome, who I believe resides here. Do you know
where he might be?" Nabiki smirked.
"I suppose..." Her smile turned mischievous, and she
pointed at the bouquet of flowers. "Those for him?"
"Certainly not!" Mikado looked affronted. He cleared his
throat, surprised that he let this girl get to him. "No,
I'm afraid these are for Akane Tendo. I was under the
impression that she also lived here." Nabiki raised her
eyebrows.
"Another suitor for my little sister, I see." She turned
to the stairs behind her, allowing time for the words
'another suitor' sink in. "Akane!" she called out.
"Somebody here to see you!"
Behind her, Mikado arced an eyebrow.
"'Little sister'...?" As Nabiki turned back to face him,
his mental gears went to work. "Ah, if I had only known
that the charming Ms. Tendo had an equally gorgeous
sister... I should have brought more flowers. Please,
allow me to make up for this slight..." He leaned in for
a kiss.
Something brushed against his lips. Mikado opened his
eyes in surprise. There something between his lips, all
right... It was a shrimp chip.
"Sorry, maybe some other time, San-chan." Nabiki was
still smiling, but there was a touch less amusement in
her expression. While Mikado tried to figure out why on
earth Nabiki called him a nickname only his partner
called him, a curtain behind her flipped aside. Kasumi
stepped out, wiping her hands on her apron.
"Who is at the door, Nabiki?" she asked. She took in
Mikado with his flowers, and her hand flew to her mouth.
"Oh, my! We have a visitor. I'd better make some tea for
our guest." She went back into the kitchen. The shrimp
chip fell from Sanzenin's lips.
thought Mikado.
At that very moment, Akane came down the stairs.
"Did you call me, Nabiki?" She stared at the visitor.
"Mikado Sanzenin...?" Upon
seeing Akane, Mikado immediately directed all his
charm towards her.
"My dear Akane... You are more enchanting than ever
today." He walked up to her, handing her the roses.
"These are for you." She looked at them skeptically.
"Gee, thanks. I guess..."
***
A moment later, Mikado was seated at a table in the
living room, surrounded by members of the Tendo family.
At the table sat the three sisters, as well as their
father, Soun. Kasumi was pouring tea, and offered a cup
to Mikado. He accepted it, and bowed his head to her in
gratitude.
"So, what brings you here, Mr. Sanzenin?" Soun asked, a
touch suspiciously.
Mikado tore his gaze away from the three sisters, with
whom he had been trying to divide his attentions equally.
he
thought regretfully. Even Mikado had sense enough not to
kiss a girl when her father was around; worst case
scenario: the father would force him to marry her. And
he certainly wasn't ready for *that* yet; too many lips
yet unconquered. He smiled to himself quietly.
Realizing
that Soun was still awaiting an answer, Mikado came to
himself.
"Forgive me, sir," he said smoothly. "I'm afraid I was
distracted by your three, breathtakingly *beautiful*
daughters." Kasumi went, "Oh, my!"; Nabiki looked amused;
Akane, disgusted. "I merely came over today looking for
Ranma Saotome. Do you know where I might find him?"
Akane's eyes widened.
Suddenly, there was
a splash outside. All eyes turned as the screen door to
the backyard was opened. Mikado raised an eyebrow at the
sopping wet panda, but it was the second person who
arrested his gaze.
"My pig-tailed princess!" he said breathlessly, rising
to his feet. Everybody stared at him. Ranma-chan stopped
wringing out her hair and looked up.
"S... Sanzenin!" she gasped out in surprise. Before she could react, Mikado
was at her side, clasping her hands to his chest.
"To think, I never thought I'd see you again..."
"Yeah? Well, the feeling is mutual, pal," Ranma-chan
snapped.
"Ah, I can still remember the sweet taste of your lips--"
His sentence was punctuated with a klonk to the head.
"I've been trying to *forget!*" Ranma-chan removed her
elbow, scowling. Nabiki got a thoughtful look in her eyes.
"Oh, so *this* is the guy that gave you your first
kiss..." she murmured in amusement. Nabiki chuckled
softly. Akane gave her sister a sharp look.
"Sis!" she hissed, elbowing her. Unfortunately, Mikado
had already heard.
"Your... *First* kiss?" He turned questioningly back to
Ranma-chan, who had began to sweat. "Ah, no wonder you
wept at my kiss. I still remember that day clearly..."
The living room faded away and turned into a skating
rink, which, for some reason, was surrounded by fields of
flowers. On centre ice was Ranma-chan in Mikado's arms,
sharing an intimate kiss. Finally, Ranma-chan pulled
away, her eyes wide and bright.
"Oh!" she said, in a sweet, child-like voice. "To think
my first kiss was with *the* Emperor Sanzenin!" She
began to skip away. Mikado held up a hand to stop her.
"Wait, please!" Unheeding, Ranma-chan continued to skip
blissfully along.
"Eeeeeeeee! I'm so *happy!*" From her exaggeratedly huge
eyes, tears flowed freely. Flower petals flew past her.
"Yes, it's understandable you reacted so," continued
Mikado, as reality faded back in. "Why, it is only
natural that--" He never got to finish the sentence, as
Ranma-chan decided to give Mikado a little reality check.
"That's *not* the way it happened!!" she snarled,
booting him out the backyard and into the sky. Beyond
all expectation, Mikado somersaulted gracefully in the
air, landing lightly on the brick wall marking the end
of the yard.
"You seem to be rather shy today," he called to her,
unperturbed. "Perhaps I shall see you some other time,
then." He leapt off the wall, and out of sight, as
Ranma-chan seethed. There was an uneasy pause of silence
in the room. Finally, Soun chose to speak.
"So, son..." he started off calmly. Suddenly, his head
was ten times its original size, clouds of smoke trailing
behind it. The demon-head of Soun loomed over an
intimidated Ranma-chan. "What's this about you kissing
a *man*?!"
"No! Wait! You don't understand! He kissed *me*!" She
blinked as she realized what she just admitted, and
began to sweat. "Er, what I mean is... He didn't *really*
kiss me, uh..." Behind her, Genma sobbed, still steaming
from a kettle of water he had just poured over himself.
"Boy, you break your poor father's heart..." Ranma-chan
bonked him over the head with her fist.
"Who asked you?" Predictably, Soun joined in on the
sobbing.
"Isn't it bad enough that you have girls chasing you
around town, son? Now you're leading around boys, too!"
"Who's leading around anybody?!" cried Ranma-chan. Akane
put an hand to her head in exasperation, resigning
herself to the argument she and her sisters had to watch.
***
Later, Akane found Ranma in the dojo, sulking. His back
was turned to her.
"Thought I'd find you here," she said. No response.
Then he said:
"Did anyone follow you?" Akane looked surprised.
"Er... I don't think so..." she replied. Ranma nodded.
"Just wanted to make sure nobody was listening in on
us." Akane's eyes lit up in understanding. Trying to
even talk to Ranma alone incited curiosity in their
respective, matchmaking families. "So what did you
come in here for, anyways?" he asked. Akane took a
deep breath, and decided to continue.
"Ranma, I've been thinking... Why don't you just tell
Mikado you're really a guy?" Ranma's head snapped around.
"No way! I'd sooner kiss him again!"
"Look Ranma, I know you're still sore at Mikado, but
you've got to get over your pride! So he kissed you! Big
deal!" Ranma bristled at that.
"Aw, like you'd know anything about it..."
"And what's *that* supposed to mean?"
"That you've never been kissed by another man befor--" He
trailed off. They looked away from each other. There was
an uneasy pause of silence. Finally, Akane swallowed her
nervousness and spoke.
"Look, my point is, that you don't want another guy
chasing after you, do you?" Ranma grimaced.
"Yeah, I suppose," he conceded. He turned away for a
moment. he thought to himself defiantly.
<*Especially* to the guy who did the deed.>
"You will think about my suggestion, then?" she asked.
There was a pause, then Ranma nodded slowly, if
reluctantly. Akane looked relieved, as her fiancee put
his hands behind his head.
"Wonder why that creep was hangin' around here, anyways."
Akane look of relief changed to that of worry.
"He was looking for *you*, you know." Ranma shrugged,
causing his fiancee to sigh.
she thought,
*****
Ranma 1/2:
"The Kissing Game"
Part Two: "On Thin Ice"
The final bell rang, and Ranma and Akane walked out of
Furinkan High School, surrounded by the other students
who laughed and chattered away.
Suddenly, Ranma felt a tingle pass through him.
There was a blur of motion. Akane looked beside her,
shocked. Her fiance had just caught a blade between his
fingers, mere millimetres from his face. His expression
hadn't changed. The students began to murmur as Ranma
examined the blade.
"A... Skate blade?" he said in disbelief. Akane looked
over his shoulder.
"Hey look, there's something written on it." She held it
up lengthwise, clearly revealing the neatly etched word,
'Challenge'. They both stared at it wordlessly.
"So, Saotome. Do you accept?"
Ranma and Akane looked up to see Mikado step out from
behind a tree, clad in his school uniform. He set foot
onto the pavement in front of the high school. Nearby,
a few of the Furinkan girls sighed in delight.
"What a babe!"
Meanwhile, Ranma tossed the blade back to Sanzenin, who
caught it easily.
"Whatever you say, Mr. Moronic Skater," answered Ranma.
Mikado frowned.
"That's Mikado Sanzenin!"
"Whatever. So, when are we gonna fight?"
"Oh, right now will do, nicely," replied Mikado casually.
Ranma looked surprised.
"You sure 'bout that?"
"Most definitely."
Ranma shrugged. Satisfied,
Mikado removed his coat.
"Do hold this for me, will you, gorgeous?" Mikado handed
his uniform jacket to a female Furinkan student. His eyes
caught hers, and she blushed.
"Sometime this year, Sanzenin?"
Reluctantly, Mikado pulled his gaze away from the girl,
turning to glare at Ranma. Meanwhile, Akane looked
thoughtful.
she
thought. She turned and
whispered in her fiance's ear.
"Sure you can take him?"
"No sweat. Heck, I kicked his butt last time!"
"From what I remember, he did a pretty good number on you,
too," replied Akane archly. Ranma gave her a sharp look.
"Yeah, well, I'm not wearing ice skates this time," Ranma
grumbled. He then looked smug. "Besides, without skates
on, Sanzenin can't be half as good as he usually is."
"Any time you're ready, Saotome." Ranma turned to his
opponent.
"I'm ready!"
"Very well." Mikado leapt straight up into the air. Much
to everyone's surprise, rollerblades retracted from the
soles of his shoes. He then landed nimbly upon the paved
ground.
"What were you saying, Ranma?" Akane said pointedly.
A large sweat droplet had formed on Ranma's head.
Then he put on an air of bravado.
"Heh. Well, I still beat him last time. Besides, we're on
*my* turf now." Turning away from his fiancee, he stepped
forward, taking a fighting stance. The fight had begun.
Ranma was the first to attack. He aimed a punch at Mikado,
who dodged it. But Ranma had anticipated this, and followed
up with a lightning quick fist to the face. To his surprise,
Sanzenin slid back, avoiding the attack. Mikado then neatly
spun around and aimed a kick at Ranma's head. He just
managed to duck in time.
As the fight progressed, it repeated that same pattern:
Whenever Ranma would try to attack Mikado, the latter
would skate just out of reach, but close enough to be
able to fight back. Ranma was getting annoyed.
"Why you slippery, little..." he muttered under his
breath. Mikado slid away from Ranma, clearly amused
by the frustrated expression on his opponent's face.
"Something troubling you, Saotome?" he smirked. Ranma's
eyes narrowed in thought.
he thought. Ranma leapt onto a tree.
As he bounced off a branch, he headed towards Sanzenin,
starting his next attack. "Katchou tenshin ameguriken!"
Mikado arced an eyebrow at the flurry of punches aimed
at him, and began his counterattack. "Dance of Death!"
Akane's eyes lit up.
"That's it!" The other students looked at her in surprise.
Then they turned back to the fight, to watch in amazement
as Mikado spun gracefully on one foot, arms and opposite
leg outstretched to strike Ranma. Ranma seemed to be
getting the worst out of the two fighters, but...
Akane recalled, Suddenly, something about the
fight drew her eye. There was something strange about
Mikado's Dance of Death... Something different. A tiny
sweat droplet slid down her cheek.
she realized in shock.
***
thought Ranma, caught in the whirlwind
of Mikado's Dance of Death.
The look of intense concentration on Sanzenin's face gave
him no clue to the reason why.
Against his own better judgment, Ranma pulled out of
his own attack. After a moment, Mikado wound down as
well. Both combatants circled other warily.
thought Ranma.
"Surprised?" asked Mikado smugly, mirroring the other boy's
thoughts. "After our last fight ended in a draw, I trained
harder, just to make sure that it wouldn't happen again." A
slight frown appeared on Sanzenin's face. "But it seems that
you've been training, too..." Upon hearing this, Ranma
allowed himself a bit of a smile.
he thought. He began to run towards
Mikado. In response to the obvious challenge, Mikado skated
towards his opponent, seemingly unfazed.
It soon became clear to the watching students that what
was going to happen now was a game of chicken; only in
this case, whichever of the two got the first hit in,
won the round. The crowd looked on with breathless
anticipation.
Both fighters picked up speed as they headed towards each
other. At the last possible moment, Mikado turned around
and extended a leg, prepared to kick Ranma with it. But
Ranma reacted quickly and blocked the kick away with an
arm. He then saw an opening, and aimed a punch at Mikado's
exposed midsection. But Mikado saw this coming, and easily
parried the attack. The two combatants sped past each
other. Ranma skidded to a stop, while his opponent
continued skating in the opposite direction.
It was then that Mikado caught Akane in his line of vision.
A familiar gleam entered his eye. Adjusting his course
slightly, he rushed towards her, capturing the surprised
girl in his arms.
"So Miss Tendo, we meet again."
"Arrrrrgggggghhhhh!!"
Ranma turned in surprise. "Akane!" he cried, running towards
his stricken fiancee.
Meanwhile, Mikado spun around with Akane in his arms
for a moment, then swung her into a dip.
"Allow me to finally give you my *formal* greeting..."
Mikado was interrupted as a knee bashed into the back
of his head.
"'Scuse me, but would you mind keepin' your mind on the
fight?!" Ranma growled, a vein popping from his head.
He leapt off the taller boy's back, while Mikado turned
to him, his seduction forgotten for the moment.
"Saotome..." Mikado it said quietly, but his blazing
eyes betrayed his anger. "You've interfered with me for
the last time!"
"Sorry, Sanzenin," replied Ranma, his voice dripping
with sarcasm. "Was I interrupting something?"
Threateningly, Mikado stepped towards Ranma, who leapt
back onto the school's field behind him. He started to run
backwards, making faces at Mikado in the process.
"Come and get me!" It was then that Akane realized Ranma's
gambit.
she thought, impressed by Ranma's cunning.
Mikado also seemed to recognize this. Wordlessly, he
turned around and skated in the other direction. Ranma
looked smug as the students watching began to murmur in
surprise.
"Sanzenin's running away?"
"Didn't think he'd give up that easily..."
Suddenly, Mikado skated around in a wide arc. As he hit
the curve, he appeared to pick up speed and rushed past
the astonished students, towards Ranma. By the time he
reached the end of the pavement, he was a mere blur and
Mikado sped onto the field, blades of grass flying in his
wake. Caught off guard, Ranma yelped and began to run.
Mikado smirked in satisfaction.
he thought to himself.
***
"Damn!" Ranma muttered. He glanced back at Mikado, who
was in hot pursuit. He had been counting on the grassy
field to slow down his rollerbladed opponent.
Ranma turned his head just in time to see a familiar
figure block his path. He stifled back a groan.
"Ranma Saotome! How dare you challenge one other than I!"
Kuno stood firm, with his bokken drawn for battle.
"Aw, Kuno-sempai, I don't got time for this!" Ranma
leapt over Kuno. At least, he would've leapt over Kuno,
if he hadn't also decided to plant a foot in the older
boy's face. Ranma continued to run without breaking his
stride, as Kuno fell flat on his back. The latter slowly
got to his knees, propping himself up with his sword.
"You dare stomp upon the head of Tatewaki Kuno?" he
declaimed to Ranma's fleeting form. "I shall smite--"
His sentence was abruptly cut off as he was run over by
Mikado on his rollerblades. Kuno was left face down in
the grass yet again, with two visible treadmarks going
down the back of his kendo outfit.
***
Ranma looked over his shoulder as he ran. He seemed to
have lost Sanzenin for the moment, but he knew that the
skater couldn't be too far behind. "There's gotta be
some way I can slow that guy down..." he muttered to
himself.
Just then, a fenced-off area of the school appeared up
ahead of him. Ranma's eyes lit up.
Swiftly, he scaled the
wire fence, leaping off the top. It was only then he
realized what the fence was for.
"Er..." A large sweat droplet formed on the back of
Ranma's head.
"Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!"
***
Meanwhile, Mikado was searching for Ranma. "Now, where
did Saotome go...?"
Suddenly, he heard a splash somewhere to his left. He
turned.
He skated in the direction of the sound. Seeing the fence before
him, and realizing the splash came from the other side,
he built up speed. He then used his momentum to skate up
the side of the fence, breaking several laws of physics
in the process...
Reaching the top, Mikado managed to balance himself. From
his vantage point, he looked down at the pool below him.
With a start, he recognized the person flailing in the
water; not as Saotome, but the girl he knew as the pig-
tailed princess. His reaction was immediate.
"Don't worry, I'll save you, my pig-tailed pretty!"
Mikado called out to her. Ranma-chan looked up just in
time to see Mikado perform a graceful swan dive towards
her. A large sweat droplet appeared on her forehead.
"No! Wait!" she cried, waving her arms in protest. "Stop!"
Her eyes grew wide as Mikado grew closer. "You idiot--!"
She never got to finish the sentence. Mikado caught her
in his arms, as the impact of his dive sank them both to
the bottom of the pool. Water rushed into Ranma-chan's
lungs, and she passed out. Mikado then pulled her prone
form from the water.
"Are you all right, my dear?" he asked, gently laying her
by the side of the pool. When there was no answer, his eyes
widened in shock. He tilted her chin back, prepared to
give her the kiss of life. Even in such a life and death
situation, he murmured, "Such beauty..."
Mikado's life-saving tactic was prevented by a flat foot
to the chin. "Not even half-drowning me's gonna make me
kiss *you* again!" snarled Ranma-chan. Mikado's eyes lit
up.
"My pig-tailed princess, you're all right!"
"I ain't nobody's princess! Now get away from me!" She
desperately inched away from him. He gave her a
sympathetic look.
"You poor, innocent creature... Your drowning must have
affected you. You have nothing to fear from me." Mikado
leaned over her, surrounded by sparkling effects. The
background seemed to fade away, transforming into fields
of roses; the pool turned into a glittering fountain.
Ranma-chan's expression became childishly sweet.
"Mikado-sama!" she cried, clasping her tiny hands together.
"You... You saved my life!" She began to blush. "How may
I ever repay you?" Mikado clasped her hand.
"Don't worry, darling. The grateful look on your pretty
face is more than enough reward for me. However..." His
eyes sparkled even more at this, "I would appreciate a
tender kiss from your sweet lips."
The oh-so-cute Ranma-chan lifted her head to him, lips
pursed. Mikado leaned over, ready to receive his reward.
Meanwhile, in the real world, Ranma-chan's face was red,
and it wasn't from blushing. She reacted to Mikado's
attempt to kiss her a little differently.
"Not in this lifetime, you *jerk!*" she cried, booting
him into the clouds.
Ranma-chan sat breathing heavily for a moment, waiting for
the beating of her heart to go back to normal. she shivered.
A pair of arms glomped around her waist. "Pig-tailed girl,
you have returned to me at last!" Kuno sobbed, nuzzling
against her.
After a moment, Kuno followed Mikado on his orbit of the
earth.
Finally, Ranma-chan managed to calm down in peace. "There
must be a way to get at least *Mikado* off my back..." she
muttered to herself.
Suddenly, Akane's advice came back to her. <"Why don't you
just tell Mikado you're a guy?"> Ranma-chan winced. It was
the last thing she wanted, to admit that she was kissed by
a guy, but considering her alternative options...
She stood up, resolved to do
whatever was necessary to make sure Sanzenin would leave
her alone for good.
*****
Ranma 1/2:
"The Kissing Game"
Part Three: "In Hot Water"
Ranma Saotome stood in front of the municipal skating
rink, looking up at the sign. He was rather hoping he'd
never come here again... He sighed, adjusted what he
was carrying, and went in.
Upon entering, he approached the ice rink and began to
scan it. After a while, he realized with some surprise
that the person he had been looking for wasn't around.
Finally, he decided to ask somebody, tapping a passing
skater on the shoulder. The skater turned, giving Ranma
a rather odd look.
"Yes?"
"'Scuse me. Do you know where I can find Mikado
Sanzenin?"
"Oh, I'm afraid you just missed him. He just finished
practice." Ranma cursed under his breath. Seeing his
expression, the skater added helpfully, "I think he
went to the baths, though. I can show you where they
are, if you want."
"No thanks," said Ranma. "I've been there before." He
turned away, lost in thought, and headed in the direction
he recalled the public baths were. He tossed aside
a pair of ice skates, as well as a bucket of water and a
steaming kettle, which he had been carrying around for
some reason...
***
Meanwhile, Mikado sat calmly in the hot baths at the
skating rink, eyes closed. He had just finished a
particularly rigourous skating practice, and had been
looking forward to a relaxing bath.
"Yo, Sanzenin."
Mikado opened his eyes. At the entrance to the baths
stood Ranma, with a towel around his waist. He raised an
eyebrow.
"Yes?"
"C'mere for a second."
Mikado paused for a moment, then sighed in resignation.
He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then
stepped out of the bath. The other men in the public bath
began to stare at them both, but they ignored it.
"What is it, Saotome?" he asked, a touch irritably.
Mikado gestured at the steam-filled room around him.
"This is hardly the place for one to issue a challenge."
"I didn't say nothin' about challenging you," replied
Ranma quietly. "I just wanted to show you something,
that's all." Mikado arced his eyebrow again.
"Oh? And what may that be?"
Ranma paused. He was very reluctant to do this. But
Akane was right, for once; this was the only way to
get Mikado off his back. And considering that Mikado
wouldn't leave him alone... Ranma suppressed a shudder.
There was no help for it; it was best he got it over
with.
Slowly, Ranma filled a bath pail with cold water and
lifted it over his head. "This," he replied, pouring the
water over himself.
Mikado stared. If some of the bathhouse patrons weren't
paying attention before, they were certainly doing so now.
Especially to the parts that Ranma's towel did not cover,
and didn't have to worry about covering when he was a guy.
Ranma-chan glared at them.
"What are you looking at, you perverts?" She snatched a
bucket of hot water and poured it over herself, reverting
back to male form. It was at that moment that Mikado
finally managed to speak.
"You're... You're that pig-tailed girl..." he trailed
off weakly.
"Yeah. Disappointed?" Ranma smirked. Mikado placed a
hand to his head, a vein throbbing in his forehead.
"Do you mean to tell me... All this time... I had kissed
a *man*?!"
"Whoa. So you're not so dumb after all, eh, Majorly
Stupid?"
"For the last time, that's *Mikado Sanzenin*! And how
dare you toy with my affections like that!" Ranma
blinked in surprise, then in anger.
"What are you talkin' about? *You* kissed *me*,
remember?" Mikado clenched a fist.
"To think I should debase myself by kissing a *man*...
Ranma Saotome... You make me sick!" In one swift motion,
he aimed a kick at Ranma, who just managed to duck in
time.
"Why, you..." growled Ranma. In retaliation, he took a
swipe at Mikado. The taller boy sidestepped Ranma's
attack, and with a cold expression on his face, tripped
him. Ranma went sprawling into the hot bath behind Mikado.
The boy with the pig-tail resurfaced, spluttering.
"You're just *askin'* for it now, Sanzenin!"
To the amazed eyes of the onlooking bathers, Ranma jumped
out of the bath, throwing a punch at Mikado. The other
boy easily dodged it, but Ranma was ready for that
this time. Quickly, he ducked low, avoiding Mikado's
counterattack, and swept Sanzenin's legs. The taller boy
gasped as he fell heavily to the floor. Mikado then
rolled, just avoiding a punch Ranma had aimed at his
chest. The punch cracked the floor instead. Ranma grinned.
Mikado got to his feet, narrowing his
eyes.
he thought.
Ranma approached Mikado to attack again. Much to his
surprise, the other boy slid backwards across the room,
avoiding him. A sweat droplet slid down Ranma's cheek.
He stared at Mikado smugly watching him from
the other side of the room, then stared at the floor. He
cursed.
"Don't you ever stop slidin' around like that?" he snarled
at Mikado. The other boy flipped his damp hair in amusement.
"Certainly not. I am a martial arts skater. It would be
a crime if I did not use my skills whenever the
opportunity arises." His eyes narrowed. "Now, you shall
witness the *true* power of a martial arts skater..."
Deceptively, Mikado slid back. Ranma watched him closely,
steeling himself for the upcoming attack. He wasn't
disappointed.
Mikado continued to move backwards, then swerved around,
picking up momentum. He headed towards Ranma, and leapt
into the air.
Ranma watched unflinchingly as Mikado spun three times in
midair, right in front of him. Just when it appeared that
Ranma wouldn't be able to move away in time, he flipped
into the air, avoiding the other boy's attack. Meanwhile,
Mikado landed nimbly on one foot, the other smashing into
the wall that Ranma had been standing in front of. To the
amazement of the onlooking bathers, the wall broke into
pieces. The skater spun around, to glare at his opponent.
thought Mikado
in annoyance. Ranma smirked at his opponent, as he
somersaulted in midair.
"Heh. If that was supposed to impress me, it didn't work,
ya big jer--" Ranma's insult was cut off as he had the
misfortune to land on a bar of soap. He slipped and fell
to the ground, banging his head heavily on the tiled floor.
He lay there, dazed.
Seeing his opponent was down, Sanzenin saw his chance.
Skidding around the room to pick up speed, he prepared
to unleash the final blow. Unaware of the danger, Ranma
slowly came to.
"Ow..." he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. "What
the heck...?" Ranma looked up just in time to realize what
was going on. He managed to roll away just as a flying
kick soared above him, barely missing him. Instead,
Mikado's foot struck a faucet behind Ranma, knocking off
the tap. A jet of water shot out, hitting the pig-tailed
boy dead on.
"Hey! That's cold!" Ranma blinked.
Ranma-chan stood up, wiping water from her face. She
glared defiantly at Mikado. Mikado stared at her. His
eyes narrowed.
"Don't think that I will go any easier on you, just
because you're a woman, now," he said quietly. "I know
you're really a man."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." Ranma-chan smirked.
They attacked each other again. As they fought, a look
of intense concentration came across Mikado's face.
After a while, Ranma-chan had to grudgingly admit that
she was impressed: Despite the fact that Mikado had
avoided looking at her bare chest, he was fighting her
all out.
Not even her usual distraction
tactics fazed him. she thought wryly. Still,
she was faster as a girl, and got a couple more hits in.
As she fought, she contemplated on how to defeat Mikado.
she concluded. Ranma-chan hated to admit it, but
she wasn't a very good skater. Her eyes lit up.
As Ranma-chan narrowly dodged one of Mikado's spinning
punches, she prepared to put her newly hatched idea to
good use. Scaling the bathhouse wall, she grabbed the
top of it, balancing herself. She then turned to Mikado,
sticking her tongue out at him. "Catch me if you can!"
she taunted. He lifted an eyebrow.
"To think, I thought you were above such cowardice."
Ranma-chan bit her tongue, vowing the the word 'cowardice'
would be paid for later. "Very well." Mikado dashed across
the wet floor like a speed skater, then launched himself
at the wall.
thought Ranma-chan. She bounced off the wall,
towards the airborne Mikado. As she soon as she got
close enough, she grabbed him by the shoulder with one
hand, then drew back the other. "Katchou tenshin
ameguriken!"
Caught off guard, Mikado gasped. Instinctively, he tried
to twist away from the attack. Ranma-chan smirked in
satisfaction.
She held
him fast as she pounded away at his chest, and Mikado's
defensive tactic only succeeded in sending them into a
descending spiral to the floor. He tried to block the
punches, but by then it was too late...
They hit the ground with a thud. Ranma-chan was not
above using Mikado to break her fall, especially after
the "cowardice" remark. She got to her feet as Mikado
lay on the floor, the wind knocked out of him.
"Huh. Well, that'll show him," she said in satisfaction.
The watching bathers clapped appreciatively.
Then Ranma-chan heard a moan behind her. Turning, she was
surprised to see Mikado sitting up, rubbing the back of
his head.
"Yes, I quite agree," he said, surprising her even more.
"Perhaps I was wrong." Ranma-chan crossed her arms in
front of her.
"About...?"
"About my kissing you and how it was your fault," Mikado
said quite calmly. "Perhaps it was mine, after all." He
looked at her regretfully. "I guess was so upset at the
thought of kissing another man, I couldn't think clearly.
And I apologize. For both kissing you and for attacking
you just now." He looked sincere. At his admission of
guilt, Ranma-chan suddenly felt bad about her attitude.
"Ah, ferget about it," she murmured. "You didn't know
I was a guy. And I don't blame you for attacking
me; I can't say I was too happy about your kissing me,
either." Mikado stood up and walked over towards her.
"Then shall we call a truce?" Mikado held out a hand
towards Ranma-chan. She stared at it for a moment, then
shrugged.
"Yeah, whatever." She put her hand in his, in a firm
handshake. Mikado smiled at Ranma-chan. Then he leaned
down and...
Fortunately, she saw it coming this time. Quickly, she
grabbed him by the shoulders and rolled them both into a
nearby hot bath. There was a loud splash. After a moment,
both surfaced from the water, gasping for air. Ranma,
now male, glared at Mikado. The taller boy looked at him,
and shrugged.
"Sorry, force of habit," he said, without a trace of
remorse. Ranma sank into the water, thoroughly disgusted.
***
Outside of the municipal skating rink, Akane stood waiting.
Finally, the person she was waiting for walked out the front
doors. She approached her fiance.
"So, how did it go?"
"Piece of cake," replied Ranma airily. Akane looked
skeptical.
"Really?"
"Yep. Well... I did have to beat some sense into his thick
skull first--"
"Is that so, Mr. Saotome?"
Ranma flinched involuntarily at the sound of Mikado's
voice. The taller boy had appeared behind him, a pair of
ice skates slung over his shoulder. He looked at Akane.
"If you were wondering if Ranma talked to me, then yes,
we did have a little... Discussion." He sighed to himself
wistfully. His eyes lit up.
Mikado approached Akane, taking her hand. Ranma clenched
a fist in anger.
However, to his surprise, the other
boy merely bent over Akane's hand, and kissed it.
"He's an excellent martial artist," he told her. "I hope he
takes good care of you." Ranma and Akane blinked in
astonishment.
thought Ranma, his jaw dropping. For once, he was
at a loss for words. Meanwhile, his fiancee fought back a
blush.
"Uh... Thank you," Akane finally managed to say. After a
moment, she took back her hand. Or at least, tried to.
Akane looked up at Mikado in surprise. He smiled at her
enigmatically. Still grasping her hand, he gently pulled
Akane towards him. Catching her around the waist, Mikado
leaned forward for a kiss.
For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Then, Mikado sailed
into the air, leaving a vapour trail in his wake. Far below
him, stood Akane and Ranma, with a fist and foot held up,
respectively.
"He's hopeless..." Ranma shook his head in exasperation,
as his fiancee looked disgusted. "Absolutely *hopeless*."
END
***
End theme:
"This Kiss", sung by Faith Hill
I don't want another heartbreak,
I don't need another turn to cry.
I don't want to learn the hard way,
"Baby, hello--Oh no--Goodbye!"
But you've got me like a rocket,
Shooting straight across the sky...
Chorus:
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's... impossible
This kiss, this kiss...
Unstoppable
This kiss, this kiss...
Cinderella said to Snow White,
"How does love get so off course?
All I wanted was a white knight,
With a good heart, soft touch,
fast horse!
Ride me off into the sunset...
Baby, I'm forever yours!"
Chorus
It's... unthinkable
This kiss, this kiss...
Unsinkable
This kiss, this kiss...
You can kiss me in the moonlight
On the rooftop under the sky
You can kiss me with the windows open
While the rain comes pouring inside
Kiss me in sweet, slow motion
Let's let everything slide...
You've got me floating,
You've got me flying...
Chorus
It's... subliminal
This kiss, this kiss...
It's criminal
This kiss, this kiss...
It's the way you love me, baby...
(The way you love me)
It's the way you love me, darling...
(The way you love me)
*****
Well, that's the end of my first full-length fanfic. ^_^
Hopefully there'll be more in the future (if I actually
finish them, that is...) Special thanks goes out to Geary
Graham for taking the time to go over the story with me;
I especially thank him for his comments and encouragement.
^_^
A couple of notes:
The M. S. cracks Ranma insults Mikado with are inspired
by the subtitled edition of "Darling Charlotte" (in the
dressing room, Ranma calls Mikado "Manic Satyr" instead
of by his full name).
The, um, *delusional* state Mikado is in when he's around
Ranma-chan is from the manga. ^_~ In the manga, Ranma-chan
is drawn as if a young child might draw her, which is why
I have her acting childish around Mikado. (In the original
Japanese, not only is she drawn that way, but her dialogue
is also written like a child might write it! Hee hee! ^_^)
That's all, folks!
---Cherryne, president of the Mikado Sanzenin fan club ^_^
Please send your comments to aviatrix88@yahoo.com
Copyright, Cherryne Edejer 1998.
Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi and
are used without permission.
Song lyrics copyrighted by their owners and are also
used without permission.
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