It's Been a Long Time...
(Man standing in the middle of stage. Another man walks by. Suddenly the man perks up.)
Man #1:Hey! Stanley!
(Man walking across stage stops. He turns.)
Man #2:Hello...you!
Man #1:I haven't seen you since...since...wow, has it really been that long?
Man #2:I'm sorry, how long has it been since what?
Man #1:Since the last time we meet!
Man #2:Do I actually know you?
Man #1:How could you forget me?
Man #2:Apparently very easily.
Man #1:I'm Charlie! The Mid Vale Wet Towel Snapping Champion four years in a row. How could you forget me?
Man #2:Apparently very easily.
Man #1:Woh, Deja Vu.
(Man steps in from the side of stage.)
Gag Man:Deja Vu, that uncanny feeling that you been somewhere before, done something at another time.
(Man steps back off stage.)
Man #2:That was completely pointless and not funny. Anyway, what you been up to?
Man #1:...Stuff. And you?
Man #2:...Stuff. {Pause}So, how's your family? How's your dad?
Man #1:{Sadly}My dad? God rest his soul.
Man #2:Oh, he's dead?
Man #1:No, he's sleeping. How's your family?
Man #2:My mom still thinks she's a hamster, my dad is constently passing gas and blaming it on the potted fern, my wife...
Man #1:You got married?
Man #2:Yea, been married five years.
Man #1:Okay, we've established the fact that I haven't seen you at least five years.
Man #2:Yes. Anyway, how about you, did you ever get married?
Man #1:No.
Man #2:How about you love life, how's that going?
Man #1:{Shrugs}I'm holding my own.
Man #2:Yea, I see.
Man #1:Did you have any children?
Man #2:I was blessed with two bundles of joy. Twins.
Man #1:What are their names?
Man #2:Satan and Cowboy. My wife thought of the names. They had her on alot of medication at the time...
Man #1:Satan and Cowboy? Well, I hope the children like those names through their awkward teen-age years, and that they don't hate you for giving them names not accepted by the establishment.
Man #2:Yes, but their such well adjusted boys.
Man #1:What do you do to support your loving family?
Man #2:I'm into alot of different career fields. Real estate, banking industry, Wall Street, escort service...you know, the usual. And you?
Man #1:Male stripper. Go by the name of "The Amazur".
Man #2:{Down-playing it.}Male stripper? Really? Tell me, how much money is in that particular field?
Man #1:I'm glad you asked that question Bob...
Man #2:Stanely.
Man #1:Whatever. Anyway, I must bring in at least, $400 to $500 dollars a night, for only, at the most, four hours of work a night. Now, most of this income is in the form of tips, which is usually cash, check, or ram's blood. This type of income is not traceable by the IRS. Though I am careful to keep this type of income under 49% of my total net income for the year, otherwise I would be in violation of Section 3-4 of the income and net gain clause of Article 17 of the Greater Income Tracing Directory. I would be in quite a pickle then, let me tell you...
Man #2:Yes, I see. Is it fun?
Man #1:More fun than sticking a rabid wolverine down your pants.
Man #2:That doesn't strick me as being much fun.
Man #1:That's why I chose it in comparison. Something of that nature isn't fun, making what I'm comparing it too seem enjoyable beyond belief.
Man #2:Ah, I see. Let's go.
Man #1:Go where?
Man #2:I think I'm going to join you on the male strip circuit.
(Man #1 takes Man #2's hand and begins to lead him off stage.)
Man #1:This is great! We can work the circuit as "The Amazurs"! We'll make millions! We will of course split the money right down the middle. Right in half. Except I get the bigger half. Anyway...