Psychic Hotline

Fred:Hello everybody. I'm the psychic Fred, and I'm here to tell you about the new psychic hotline. For only $5.00 a second, you can get the most comprehensive psychic reading you have ever had. Just listen to this.

(Fred turns to psychic who is sitting at a table, talking into a phone.)

Psychic:Okay, something good or not so good may or may not happen to you in the near or not so near future.

Fred:Listen to that. 100% correct. Every time. And for just $5.00 a second, you too can have a psychic reading like no other. Listen to these satisfied customers.

(Three customers walk on to stage.)

Customer#1:(Woodenly)Yes, I called the psychic hotline, and my reading was very accurate. It was if they actually knew me.

Customer#2:(Woodenly)I was having problems with my boyfriend, and they knew that right away. They told me that it would be fine. Three days later, he died in a car crash. They were right. Now I'm single, and didn't have to go through a painful break-up.

(Customer#3 opens his mouth to speak, closes it, looks confused, then pulls some note cards from his pocket.)

Customer#3:(Reading from cards)They told me that I would suffer a slow, horrible death. I have yet to figure out if that is true. Look up and smile at crowd.

(Customer#3 looks up and smiles.)

Fred:But don't take their word for it. Try it for yourselve. Only $5.00 a second. You must be 18 years old or older, but come on kids, how are we going to know your age over the phone? Just call. First, punch in *738-988, then #3. After the dial tone, type in 1-800. Wait for the three dog barks, and finish the number with 555-5555. After the Satanic voice welcomes you to the psychic hotline, push 8, 4, 9, 2, 4, in any order you feel like. A psychic will be with you shortly.