The Wedding Skit
(Several people sitting in pews. A priest at a pulpit, and an organist at a, wait let me think...organ? Two commentators sitting at a desk.)
Commentator #1:Hello ladies, gentlemen, and hermaphrodites. This is truly a beautiful day for a wedding, here at the Chapel of Saint Lulu.
Commentator #2:You know, Saint Lulu was the patron saint of hermaphrodites.
Commentator #1:I'd have to disagree. I believe that the patron saint of hermaphrodites was Saint Eudora. Saint Lulu was the patron saint of paper napkins.
Commentator #2:We're going to have to continue this argument another time, because unless I'm mistaken, here comes the bride.
Commentator #1:You are mistaken, here she comes.
(Bride enters.)
Commentator #1:Here she is, and they're removing the shackles now.
(Two bride's maids enter and begin to remove shackles. Bride begins to march up aisle.)
Commentator #2:Well, the bride is set, and here comes the groom
(Groom begins to walk up the aisle, behind is Best Man and Ushers #1 & #2. Organist play the "Death March", then stops, hesitates, turns page of music, and begins to play a wedding processional.)
Commentator #1:He seems subdued to today, but wait! {Groom does what Commentator describes.} He just put a beautiful spin move on the Best Man! He has two yards...oh. He's just been taken down by the Ushers. He never stood a chance.
Commentator:You're right. He's being dragged to the altar. He's at the altar, and we're just about ready for the opening coin toss. The Groom gets to call it.
(Priest removes a coin from his pocket and throws it in the the air.)
Commentator #1:It's heads, and the groom gets first vows.
Commentator #2:Well, I can't see anything stopping this wedding now.
(Baa comes from above, and a sheep falls from the sky, followed by several more.)
Commentator #1:Sheep.
Commentator #2:Yes, sheep. Well, it looks like this wedding cannot continue because of sheep.
Commentator #1:{Puts hand to ear.} Yes, I just got the word the Chapel, and the word is "antidisestablishmentarianism". Makes no sense. But wait, yes, the wedding is called on account of sheep. So from Bob...
Commentator #2:Bob's not my name.
Commentator #1:...and from me...
Commentator #2:BOB'S NOT MY NAME!
Commentator #1: And from her...{Commentator #1 points underneath the desk. Woman sticks her head up and waves.}...we wish you a good night.
Commentator #2:BOB'S NOT MY NAME! MY NAME IS NOT MERVE GRIFFITH! I AM SPARTICUS!