1) When there's only one other
person in the elevator, tap them
on
the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend.
After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6) Bring a cat basket and take a nap in the corner.
7) Bounce a superball around the elevator.
8) Light a cigarette and tell people, "Smokey Bear doesn't know what the hell he's talking about!"
9) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
10) Stand in the corner reading a telephone book, laughing uproariously.
11) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
12) Move your desk in to the elevator and
whenever someone gets
on,
ask if they have an appointment.
13) When the doors close, use duct tape
and work furiously to
tape
the doors together. Ask for help.
14) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like t play.
15) Bring a hammer and nails and hang pictures
of yourself on
the
walls. Ask people, "Isn't that a good picture of me?"
16) Leave your 12-foot long python alone in the elevator
17) Turn off the lights in the elevator to "conserve energy."
18) Leave a box in the corner, and when
someone gets on ask them
if
they hear something ticking.
19) Pretend you are a flight attendant and
review emergency
procedures
and exits with the passengers.
20) Clean your gun.
21) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
22) Dressed in coveralls, get in a full
elevator and when the
door
closes, push the stop button, post an "out of order" sign inside
and
go to work on the access panel, saying "This may take a minute."
23) Push the call button, and when the voice answers ask, "God?"
24) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
25) When the doors close, announce to the
others, "It's okay. Don't
panic, they open up again."
25) Push your floor button with your tongue.
26) Stand alone, and when the doors
open tell people trying to
get
on that the car is full and that they should wait for the nextone.
27) Swat at flies that don't exist.
28) Shoot rubber bands at everyone.
29) When the doors open, pretend that
you bounce off a force
field
when you try to leave.
31) Ask people not to look, and then change your clothes.
32) When people get on, ask for their
tickets and check that
they meet the "height" requirements.
33) Push the top floor button and
announce that you tried to
kill
yourself yesterday but the other building wasn't high enough.
34) Talk to people about the "golden
age of elevators in the
50's."Explain
why modern elevators can't compete with the
"gas-powered
lifts."
35) Borrow small items from other
people in the elevator, then
shout
"Wheee!" as you drop them through the crack in the floor when
the
elevator doors open.
36) Jump rope.
37) Bring a shovel and try to dig a hole.
38) When the doors close, menacingly
announce that "It's going
to be a bumpy ride."
39) Tell people that you can see their aura.
40) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.
41) Walk on with a cooler that is "HUMAN HEAD" on the side.
42) Grimace painfully while smacking
your forehead and
muttering"Shut
up, all of you, just shut up!"
43) Crack open your briefcase or purse,
and while peering inside
ask, "Got enough air in there?"
44) Stand silently and motionless
in the corner, facing the
wall,
without getting off.
45) When arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank
the
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
46) Greet everyone getting on the
elevator with a warm handshake
and ask them to call you Admiral.
47) Meow occasionally.
48) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
49) Stare at another passenger for
awhile, then announce in horror,
"You're
one of THEM" and back away slowly.
50) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
51) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
52) Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable hostbody."
53) Say "Ding" at each floor.
54) Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
55) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
56) Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
57) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
58) Draw a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to
the
other passengers, "This is my personal space."
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