58 Things To Do On An Elevator:



 1)   When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them
        on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2)   Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.  Smile, and go back for more.

 3)   Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

 4)  Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

 5)   Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend.

       After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

 6)   Bring a cat basket and take a nap in the corner.

 7)   Bounce a superball around the elevator.

 8)   Light a cigarette and tell people, "Smokey Bear doesn't know what  the hell he's talking about!"

 9)   Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

10)  Stand in the corner reading a telephone book, laughing uproariously.

11)  Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

12)  Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets
        on, ask if they have an appointment.

13)  When the doors close, use duct tape and work furiously to
        tape the doors together. Ask for help.

14)  Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like t play.

15)  Bring a hammer and nails and hang pictures of yourself on
        the walls.  Ask people, "Isn't that a good picture of me?"

16)  Leave your 12-foot long python alone in the elevator

17)  Turn off the lights in the elevator to "conserve energy."

18)  Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them
        if they hear something ticking.

19)  Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
        procedures and exits with the passengers.

20) Clean your gun.

21) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

22)  Dressed in coveralls, get in a full elevator and when the
        door closes, push the stop button, post an "out of order" sign inside
        and go to work on the access panel, saying "This may take a minute."

23)  Push the call button, and when the voice answers ask, "God?"

24)  Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

25)  When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay.  Don't
         panic, they open up again."

 25)  Push your floor button with your tongue.

 26)  Stand alone, and when the doors open tell people trying to
        get  on that the car is full and that they should wait for the nextone.

 27)  Swat at flies that don't exist.

 28)  Shoot rubber bands at everyone.

 29)  When the doors open, pretend that you bounce off a force
        field when you try to leave.

 31) Ask people not to look, and then change your clothes.

 32)  When people get on, ask for their tickets and check that
         they meet the "height" requirements.

 33)  Push the top floor button and announce that you tried to
        kill yourself yesterday but the other building wasn't high enough.

 34)  Talk to people about the "golden age of elevators in the
        50's."Explain why modern elevators can't compete with the
        "gas-powered lifts."

 35)  Borrow small items from other people in the elevator, then
        shout "Wheee!" as you drop them through the crack in the floor when
        the elevator doors open.

 36) Jump rope.

 37) Bring a shovel and try to dig a hole.

 38)  When the doors close, menacingly announce that "It's going
         to  be a bumpy ride."

 39) Tell people that you can see their aura.

 40) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

 41)  Walk on with a cooler that is "HUMAN HEAD" on the side.

 42)  Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
        muttering"Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

 43)  Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
         ask, "Got enough air in there?"

 44)  Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the
        wall, without getting off.

 45)  When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank
        the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

 46)  Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
         and ask them to call you Admiral.

 47) Meow occasionally.

 48) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

 49)  Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror,
       "You're one of  THEM" and back away slowly.

 50) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

 51)  Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

 52)  Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable hostbody."

 53)  Say "Ding" at each floor.

 54)  Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

 55)  Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

 56)  Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

 57)  When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

 58)  Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
        the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
 


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