My son came home from school one day,
 With that smile on his face.
 Watch me blow my Mom away,
 I'll put her in her place.

 Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
 Taught by Mr. Wright.
 It was all about the law today,
 THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS.

 I don't have to clean my room or
 Even cut my hair.
 No one can tell me what to eat
 Or choose the clothes I wear.

 Freedom of speech is my
 Constitutional guarantee.
 It is my choice of what to read
 Or watch on the T.V.

 I have the freedom of religion,
 And no matter what you say,
 I don't have to ask your God for help,
 I don't have to kneel to pray.

 I can also wear an earring in my ear
 Or even pierce my nose.
 I can have the Devil's number
 Tattooed across my toes.

 Hey, if you ever spank me,
 I can charge you with assault.
 I can back up all my charges
 With the black and blue results.

 Don't ever touch my body,
 It is for me to use,
 For all those hugs and kisses
 Are a form of sex abuse.

 Don't fill my head with morals
 Like your mother did to you.
 There's such a thing called mind
 Control, that is illegal too.

 Mom, I have these children's rights.
 You can't do a thing to me.
 I'll just call the children's services,
 Better known as C.S.D.

 My very first impression was
 To toss him out the door,
 But here is a chance to teach a lesson
 For once and ever more.

 I kind of mulled it over,
 But I didn't let it go.
 This kid of mine doesn't realize,
 He is working with a pro.

 The next day I took him shopping.
 Much to his dismay,
 I didn't buy him 501's
 Or shirts designed by Nike.

 I called and talked to C.S.D.
 They said they didn't care,
 If I bought him Volume shoes,
 Or a pair of Nike Airs.

 I canceled out his appointment
 To test his driving SKILLS.
 I'd probably be dead by now,
 If only looks could kill.

 I don't have time to stop and eat,
 Get stuff for you to munch.
 I followed C.S.D.'s advice,
 I bought you a big sack lunch.

 So, you say you're not so hungry,
 You can wait till dinner time.
 I am fixing liver and onions,
 A favorite dish of mine.

 So, you want to get a movie
 To watch on the V.C.R.
 Gosh!  I sold that television
 To buy tires for my car.

 I also rented out your room,
 You don't really need a bed.
 All I really have to do
 Is put a roof over your head.

 As long as I will buy your clothes
 And all the food you eat,
 I can keep your allowance
 And buy me something really neat.

 I know you like the tacos after
 We have shopped all day.
 Son, I have my bill of rights,
 They go in effect today.

 Son, why are you crying?
 What are you doing on your knees?
 You're asking God to help you,
 Instead of C.S.D.?