How many UC Santa Cruz students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two---one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

How many UC San Diego students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.

How many UC Davis students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None---Davis doesn't have electricity.

How many UC San Francisco students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two---One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

How many UC Santa Barbara students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

How many UC Berkeley students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seventy-six---one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.

How many UC Irvine students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None---Irvine looks better in the dark.

How many UC Los Angeles students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One---he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

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