by: Rick Johnson 
PO Box 40451
Tucson, Az.
85717
RikJohnson@juno.com
One of the catholic girls with whom I work has what can only be described as a ‘gutter-mouth”. Upon occasions she has asked me to help her watch her language and all my attempts (put a quarter in the can for every swear word, wear a rubber band and snap your wrist for every swear word, etc) have failed. She did mention that she never hears me swear. Ever!
Well, she thinks that it is because I am so much of a gentleman and too polite to swear but the reality is that I, as a Witch, cannot swear!
Really, when you consider profanity, you see that profanity centers around three areas: religion, sex and excrement! “God Damn Fucking Shit!!!”
So, why don’t I say that?
Well, first of all when you look over the religious profanity, you are asking your god to punish someone for upsetting you. Since god is a vengeful, spiteful, jealous god, he can very well do this and has created a pit of everlasting fire and torment into which he casts all people, good and bad, young and old, innocent and guilty EXCEPT for those few who are saved by turning their lives over to the dead christ or by giving money to the xian churches.
So, when we say something like “god damn you” we are asking for god toss the offender back into that pit regardless of how much he pays weekly.
Well, Wicca has no devil or hell or damnation! Everyone, regardless of their lives on Earth, are reborn again (hopefully to learn and do better this time) and out Gods are neither jealous nor cruel nor petty. The Horned God is stern and the Goddess is absolute love and compassion so how can we appeal to a mental inadequacy in Them that doesn’t exist and how can we ask Them to punish a person into a place that doesn’t exist?
“Goddess make you be reincarnated as a cockroach in your next lifetime whenever that is” somehow doesn’t have the kick.
Clearly, for a set of Gods that wishes us only good and has no history of cruelty, religious profanity is little more than empty words. I’m afraid that xians have an advantage over us there.
So, how about sex?
Kiss my ass! Fuck me! Screw it! Wanker! Suck my dick! And so on….
Well, All of these are based on the idea that sex is somehow dirty! That even thinking of inserting tab A into slot B is unpleasant and nasty and will reap evil repercussions. Even the xian messiah was born by immaculate conception (this means she got morning sickness with no pleasant experiences beforehand)
What!?! Aren’t we taught that the Gods made love (had sex) to get the Goddess pregnant so She could give birth to the Universe? Isn’t our mythic books filled with the Gods having sex, encouraging us to enjoy ourselves physically?
“Ye shall make music and love…” from The Charge
“The xians say that jesus is coming.. The xians say that jesus is coming, Well the Horned God came twice last night And the Goddess at least thrice!” from That Old Time Religion
So when even our Gods have sex, how can that be bad?
We assume, in our attempts to emulate the Divine Interaction via Sacred Sexuality that the Gods Make Love, neck and occasionally fuck as well, all in Their own praise. And we believe, according to the Book of Shadows, that They wish the same for us.
Thus, when a Witch says “Fuck you!”, is this not an invitation?
Well, with Sex being both sacred and fun (by Divine will) how can one use sexual terms in a profane manner? Especially when while in the height of passion, we use the most graphic terms to describe what we are doing and what we want done to us.
Drat! Now we have even fewer options for profanity.
Well, that leaves us with excretion. Scatological phrases. The dirty stuff. FYI, Ka-Ka is THE oldest word in the English language coming down to us unchanged from Indo-European thousands of years ago… and it means EXACTLY the same today as it did back then.
So as feces are used for fertilizer (admittedly I prefer bovine or rabbit pellets) which then produces food, how can that be bad? When someone says “shit” are they complaining about the state of their rose bed and asking for assistance?
I’ve changed enough diapers in my time and cleaned enough bunny cages and cat boxes and fertilized enough lawns that ka-ka no longer holds any terror for me. I have soap!
So as feces are a vital part of nature and growth, how can that be bad?
The point that I am trying to make here is that we, as Witches are lacking in profanity. Our faith simply has no words that can be used in a derogatory and nasty or insulting manner.
In the absence of this, rather than getting angry and spouting empty phrases that show a lack of imagination and a holdover from our previous religion why not work on simply letting our anger go and seeking a solution to the situation that makes others explode with verbal violence?
To contact me or to request topics to be covered, send to RikJohnson@juno.com
by: Rick Johnson
PO Box 40451
Tucson, Az.
85717
