For in the dream, Mike had raped a small boy.
And fuelled his boner on the child's cries of agony, the child's blood.
*Sick,* Mike thought. He headed to the can
but realized he wouldn't make it. He dove to the nearest
wastebasket instead.
A voice said, "Somebody's due for some sick time."
The speaker was Lt. Vlad Chernuchin, commander
of this shift. He continued, "Listen, Mike, it's no
secret that you haven't been well lately.
Go home and take a few sick days if you have to."
Mike said, "Maybe I will. But first..." He
headed to Mr. Coffee. The acid brew washed some of the
bile from his mouth, but he still felt tired.
Too tired to sleep.
He needed fresh air. He left the precinct house and headed west.
His path took him past Larriva's TV Land.
Behind the barred window, a silent big-screen television
showed two familiar faces. On the left was
Rick Mason, producer-host of "Final Confession." Mike
and Lennie had busted him last year after
a convicted child molester was slain on his live TV
program. Ben Stone prosecuted him and won,
but the conviction was overturned on appeal.
The face on the right was none other than Joe Krolinsky's.
The faces were replaced by footage of Attica's
cells and corridors. The "Final Confession" logo was
still near the top of the screen.
*If this is what I think it is...*
An hour later, Mike knew for sure. Mason
would host a special live broadcast from Attica the day
after tomorrow, with Krolinsky as the 'star
confessor.'
Horror raced through Mike's head. It was what he had feared
most out of the indignities he had
suffered at the hands of Krolinsky, having
that man tell all. Mike couldn't bear the thought of
everyone knowing he was Krolinsky's prize
victim. Panic raged through his body and mind. Fatigued,
and uncertain as to what to do, Mike started
to run as as fast as he could and as far away as he
could from Larriva's TV Land.
Out of breath, tears filling his eyes and
several blocks later, Mike stopped just inside an alley the
housed two run down appartment complexes
on either side of it. Beathing hard, he leaned his back
up against the one brick wall. The flashes
of the past became more vivid than ever in his head.
Grabbing his head in his hands, Mike slid
down the wall in a heap on the ground.
The cold had penatrated his body, but it
didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered to him anymore. Just
then someone bent down and placed a hand
on his shoulder.
"Are you okay?" Came the voice.
"Go away!" Mike hollered. His fatigue brought on the illusion
that Krolinsky was the one that placed
the hand on his shoulder. As the individual
continued to examine Mike, to be sure that he was okay,
Mike lashed out with his hand and arm trying
to keep Krolinsky away from him.
"Just get away from me, I don't want it
anymore." Mike sobbed.
"Mike, is that you?" Came the voice. The
illusion was so real that Mike was unaware the voice was
that of a friend. He tried to sheild his
face from the intruder, but the intruder wasn't giving up.
Grabbing Mike and shaking him back to reality,
Mike finally was able realize who the man truely
was.
"Fr. McGovern." Mike wiped away the tears
and the mucus that had formed under his nose with the
back of his hand.
"Yes Mike, It's Tom. What in hell has happened
to you? Come on pal, lets get you out of this
wretched place and to some where warm and
we can talk." Tom helped Mike to his feet and
together they returned to the rectory.
Mike did not intend to tell Tom of his latest dream, the
one in which he, Mike Logan, had raped and
tortured a small child.
But Mike's lips were looser than he thought.
"That kid was screaming and bleeding and I was *enjoying*..."
He noticed that Tom was sweating. He looked at Tom's eyes, and understood.
Tom said, "He seeded you, he seeded me, he seeded Billy. Look what happened to Billy."
Mike didn't need to be reminded; Billy Marino's
suicide had led him to Krolinsky. Billy had built a
career as a straight-arrow cop until the
demons Krolinsky seeded drove him to extortion, then death.
Mike said, "I just went past Larriva's TV Land and saw
that Rick Mason's doing a Final Confession
live from Attica featuring Joe Kolinsky."
Tom asked, "And you're afraid that he's going to reveal that that you were his prize victim?"
Mike replied, "Yes, and if this comes out I'll be publicly disgraced."
"I'm going to Attica. I'm going to face that man, and I think you should, too."
"That's not a good idea, Tom." Mike's voice wasn't as calm as he'd hoped.
"We're tearing ourselves up, you and I. This
can't go on. We may have to see shrinks and take pills,
but first we should seize the initiative,
and face him down."
"While millions watch?," Mike said. "I don't
think so." The look on Tom's face frightened him. Gone
was the calm, solid composure which Tom
had unfailingly maintained up to now.
"Stay on your job if you have to," Tom said. "The day after tomorrow, I'll be meeting Joe."
*No way I'm gonna face that monster again,* thought Mike. *I do, I just might kill him.*
But the day after tomorrow would be a perfect
time to finish his business with Silas Collins. And he'd
be near his friend Tom. He wouldn't have
to get in camera range, just stay close by. Attica was
dangerous.
Totally exhausted from the lack of sleep,
Mike collapsed on the sofa in the rectory and dove into a
restless sleep. Again, Mike could see vivid
images of Joe Krolinsky at the hotel room, but this time
things were different. This time his friend
Tom was present with him, and they were adults.
In his dream, Mike and Tom made their way
down the dingy dark rancid hallway toward the room.
Slowly Mike opened the door and they both
stepped inside the room. From the bathroom Krolinsky
reveiled himself with a huge smile on his
face. It was then he saw Tom pull out the gun and before
Mike could stop him, Krolinsky lay dead
on the floor. Then the flash happened, it wasn't the Hotel
anymore, it was a room at Attica State Prison.
Mike jerked himself awake. Dripping in sweat, he
bound from the sofa in search of Tom.
Smelling the coffee, Mike raced towards
the kitchen. There he found Tom preparing breakfest.
"Good morning Mike. I trust you slept okay."
Mike nodded,lying through his teeth, as he walked
over to take the coffee offered to him.
Tom looked into his face.
"Dear God Mike, are you okay? You like you
seen a ghost."
"No, I'm fine Tom. I have to getting to
work. I'm late as it is." Tom nodded his head in
acknowledgement. Before Mike left the rectory,
he turned and spoke to Tom.
"Promise me Tom, you won't go see that bastard
by your self."
"Don't worry Mike, I will only do what I
have to do."
Mike felt like hell, but was able to sort some of the pieces.
Charlotte O'Connor would plead guilty to
Man One. Both she and Christine had been sexually
abused by their father, who had also 'lent'
them to Charlie Keller aka Charlie Collins.
Christine was sent to a secure ward at Bellevue
for psychiatric assessment. She had yet to disclose
details of her last five years.
Keller had befriended several white-collar
criminals during his last prison term and acquired broker's
skills. He also became friendly with Silas
Collins.
Silas and Barney had a brother, Charlie,
who died of crib death. After Keller went free, he used the
birth certificate of Charlie Collins to
create a new identity.
'Charlie Collins' became a broker and soon
had a very substantial income. Some of that money paid
the Collins brothers. Much provided highly
effective legal help for Joseph O'Connor, who'd been in
trouble with the IRS. As part of his fee,
Charlie got *wet* favors from the O'Connor sisters, who
knew him as Keller. Charlie also lent them
to the Collins brothers. A 51st precinct detective named
Stan Oromocto was trying to build a solid
case against Barney Collins, who had been arrested twice
for sexual battery, but never convicted.
Logan shook his head as the clouds took on
red sunset tints. The day's meetings, interviews and
paperwork had made him more tired than ever.
The conference room was unoccupied and he
crashed on the sofa.
"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!" said Anita Van Buren.
Mike raised his aching body. It was five
minutes to nine. Something wasn't right. He noticed the
bright blue light from behind the blinds,
and suddenly he understood. It was morning! He'd been
asleep for 16 hours...without a dream!
The torments of recent days seemed to be
fading into a soft white noise. It was almost as if they'd
never existed. With coffee and food he'd
be good as new.
He entered the squad room. Sammy Kurtz had
an open copy of the *New York Ledger* on his
desk, and the ad rammed his mind.
PEDOPHILE TO TELL ALL TODAY!
Former Priest Raped 100's of Boys and Girls!
Details of Sex Ring to be Disclosed...OPERATED BY THE CHILDREN HE CORRUPTED!!
NAMES WILL BE NAMED!!
FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S SAKES, YOU MUST SEE THIS
PROGRAM! SOME OF THESE
MONSTERS MAY BE IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD!!
DON'T MISS THIS SPECIAL LIVE BROADCAST FROM
ATTICA STATE PRISON...1 PM
TODAY ON FINAL CONFESSION WITH HOST RICK
MASON!
The ad showed a file photo of a grinning Krolinsky in his priest's outfit.
Mike grabbed Sammy's Zippo, held it over
the paper, and said very softly, "Give me one good
reason why I shouldn't torch this piece
of garbage right now!"
"Detective!", the Lieutenant's voice boomed from behind.
Logan snapped out of the white hot rage he
felt when he saw Krolinsky's leering face jumping from
the paper. "Oh God! I have got to get a
grip of myself!", he thought to himself. He dropped the
Ledger and muttered an apology to Sammy
who was still looking at him in disbelief.
Anita knew he was so close to his breaking
point. As soon as she heard about the interview the
former priest was going to give live on
TV, she thought about the damage it will cause, not only to
Mike, but to the other 99 kids who's struggling
to cope with the reality of being molested.
Maybe there is something that can stop or
at least impose limitations, to the upcoming interview?,
Anita thought. She made a mental note to
call McCoy this afternoon and ask for his advice and help.
But right now, curbing the already boiling temper of Mike Logan is the foremost thing on her mind.
"Det. I want you in my office now." And with that statement, she walked into her office.
It's time that she have a talk with Det. Mike Logan.
Anita said, "Mike, you need professional help. See Dr. Olivet, or someone."
"I don't need a damn shrink", he roared,
much louder than he intended. Van Buren responded with a
wide-eyed, stern gaze.
Logan raised his hands in supplication. "Sorry,
Lieutenant, it's not just about me. When Lennie and I
first investigated, we talked to some of
Krolinsky's victims, people who were just hanging on. And
now a friend of mine is near the breaking
point. He's going to Attica to face that monster. *And so
am I!*
"Detective Logan, I am ordering you to stay here. You are on duty and there's work..."
But Logan turned and left the office. He headed to the exit.
"Detective, you come back here now!"
"Arrest me!" Mike bellowed, then he stamped downstairs.
"Never seen a man in such a hurry to Attica," the cabbie said.
Logan replied, "Just be a leadfoot. There's
an extra portrait of Old Hickory waiting for you to get
there before one."
They left Buffalo Airport and sped east.
With thirteen minutes to spare, they saw the ugly buildings of
Attica Correctional Facility.
The guards made Mike wait. Long minutes passed
as they phoned in and checked papers. Mike had
the dreadful feeling that it would all be
over by the time he got inside.
At six minutes to one, a beefy sergeant with iron-gray
hair came to the gate. His name was Nielsen
Braun. He made sure Logan had checked in
his gun, then escorted him inside.
Braun growled, "I don't know what the warden's
thinking with this Final Confession crap. Pampering
that pervert's really done wonders for inmate
morale. You hear anything?"
Logan realized that there were far fewer sounds than during his last visit. He shook his head.
Braun said, "Last time the place was this quiet was in early September '71. Just before the riot."
As Mike and Braun walked down the cororidor
to the the assembly hall where Rick Mason had his
show set up. Every step they took echoed
like thunder.
Inside the room seated, were selected guests
from around the State that wanted to see first hand the
confession from the man that had deflowered
so many young boys within his church's when he was a
priest. Amoung them sat a number of his
victims, hoping for some kind of an end to their own
purgatory.
Mike stepped through the door and in amoung
several people standing near the back of the room.
His eyes searched the entire room for that
one fimilar face, Tom McGovern. He knew Tom was
somewhere inside these prison walls, because
when Mike signed into the place he noticed his friends
name several lines above where he had signed.
Mike was determined to make sure Tom didn't end
up butchering the bastard and ruin what
was left of his life. Mike partly blamed himself for having
Tom re-live the nightmare. He knew Tom was
a good person and the community didn't need to loose
him.
Mike walked amoung the people and searched
all the faces, but he couldn't locate Tom. *Where are
you Tom?* Mike thought to himself. Suddenly
the introduction music started. The show was about to
begin. Rick Mason entered at the front of
the room, with his mic in hand.
AS ALWAY WE ARE BROADCASTING LIVE AND TODAY
WE ARE INSIDE ATTICA
STATE PRISON. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER WE
HAVE BEEN GRANTED AN
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CONVICTED CHILD
MOLESTER JOE KROLINSKY. A
FORMER PRIEST, WHO WAS HIGHLY RESPECTED
AMOUNG HIS CONGREGATION
FOR THE COMMINTMENT HE GAVE TO THE YOUTH
OF HIS COMMUNITY. BUT
LITTLE DID THE PARENTS KNOW JUST HOW MUCH
OF A COMMINTMENT THERE
WAS.
NOW PLEASE WELCOME JOE KROLINSKY. Applause,
shouts and heckles sounded amoung
the crowd.
The sound of the mans name sent a shiver
through Mike's body. Looking up Mike could see the
smirk that was plastered across the a**hole's
face as he walked out and took his seat beside Rick
Mason. Joe scanned the room over like he
was looking for someone in particular. Then his gaze
fixated on Mike's face. Mike could see the
icy stare as Joe leered at him and watched as an evil grin
grew on his face.
Suddenly Krolinsky stood and pointed to Mike. "There he
is! My favorite partner, my top
confederate, Michael Francis Logan of the
New York City Police Department!"
Mike felt his face burn as the cameras and lights turned to him.
Rick Mason said, "Detective Logan! Good to see you again. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Logan stepped forward. He ignored Mason and
fixed his gaze on Krolinsky. Almost everyone in the
room became silent as Logan approached the
former priest. Mason followed with his microphone.
Mason said, "Detective Logan, you have just
been named as a confederate, a partner-in-crime. If
you have something to say about this serious
allegation, now is the time!"
Logan had a sick feeling deep in his throat.
He was certain that no matter what happened in this room
over the next few minutes, he was through
as a cop.
He was ten feet from Krolinsky. People were closing, ready to grab him if he attacked.
Mason said, "Logan, your silence will only
make people even more suspicious. If you have any
defense, let's hear it now!"
Logan clasped hands behind his back. He was
now five feet from Krolinsky. Mason's microphone
hovered near.
Logan advanced until the tip of his nose
almost touched Krolinsky's. Mike could smell the other
man's sweaty-garlicky body odor...and something
else. *You whack off in your shorts, don't you.
With lots of fond memories to come from.*
Krolinsky averted his gaze, and forced a
swallow. His look of fear turned Mike's dim, smoldering
anger into a searing red coal of rage.
Lennie watched in horror as Mike walk closer
to Krolinsky. He was not alone. Every officer in the
precinct was transfixed on the television
images. Not everyone knew of Mike's relationship with
Krolinsky, but the entire squadron was familiar
with Logan's temper, especially when he is the
subject of unwanted scrutiny.
"Jesus Christ, Mike, get a grip of yourself.",
Lennie muttered to his partner's image as if willing Logan
to hear his plea. " He's going to commit
homicide on national tv!" The thought terrified the tough,
seasoned detective.
"LT! We got to do something!", he yelled.
He didn't know where Van Buren was but he was positive
she will not stand and watch silently as
one of her best detectives ruin his life.
Logan's mind was racing with a thousand thoughts
a second as he stared at Krolinsky. The loud,
angry thud of his heart drowned out everything
else in the room. Reason was fast being drained as
the memory of the atrocities of his childhood
rushed in.
He hated this man before him, hated him with
every fibre of his being. This beast, hiding behind the
facade of an old, God-fearing man, took
away his dignity and self-respect. And yet Mike's fear of
him was every bit as real as when he was
a boy.
Krolinsky haunted his dreams. Mike's skin
could still feel Krolinsky's greedy, sweaty hands. His
body shuddered at remembered pain of the
experience and the shame that followed it. "He was
always with me", Mike thought. Krolinsky
raped him over and over, every night. EACH NIGHT.
FOR THIRTY YEARS.
Convicted cop killer Daniel Magadan Jr. watched
television in the Attica prison infirmary, where he
was recovering from a stab wound to the
gut. Despite the continuing ache, this was turning into his
best day since Logan busted him years ago.
At the very least, Logan was a disgraced man. And it
was looking more and more like the guy would
do something to land him in this very joint!
Magadan salivated at the prospect of revenge,
of sending Logan to join his former partner Max
Greevey. In his mind, Magadan had a trophy
case with Greevey's blown-open head on display.
There was plenty of room for a second kill.
Magadan's heart raced as Logan's face closed
on Krolinsky's. The look of fury on Logan's face was
scary, because it reminded Magadan of the
night when Logan had forced the confession from him.
Then Logan spoke. "I was not your partner.
I was not your confederate. I was your victim! One
among many!"
Frightful chills coursed through Magadan's
body, because the tone of Logan's voice was *exactly*
the same as when he'd slammed Magadan against
that wall.
And made him kneel.
And pressed the gun barrel to his head.
And pulled the trigger. *Click!*
Sweat flowed from all of Magadan's pores,
and his heart pounded fit to erupt. On the TV, Logan
gazed furiously, his teeth bared like a
mandrill's.
"Come on," Magadan said. "Do it!"
Magadan's face beamed at the prospect of having Mike Logan
here, behind bars, with him.
"Come on man, just do the guy." Magadan
said to himself.
"Then we can be together Logan and I can
have my revenge." Magadan's eyes narrowed and he shot
icy daggers with them at Logan as the sweat
dripped from his body and his heart continued to pound
like thunder.
"Do it. Do it man, just do it." He repeated
over and over again with excitement.
Vanburen, hurried back inside the the Precinct and raced
up the stairs to her squad room. She knew
everyone there would be intently watching
the T.V. hopeing Logan wouldn't do anything stupid.
"Where have you been Lt? Mike is on the
verge of committing homicide." Lenny spouted.
"I had to go see Cragen. I knew if there
was anyone who could get through to Mike it would be
him." Taking a deep breath Lenny asked.
"I hope he is going up to Attica to salvage
Mike?" VanBuren nodded.
"Yes, I just hope he makes it in time."
Anita VanBuren fixated her attention to the TV screen. She
could see the fury in Mike's face as the
camera gave a close up shot of him.
Cragen's heart sank as he looked at the boiling cauliflower
clouds to the west. Thick white curtains
hid the ground but not all of the lightning.
The pilot beside him spoke into his radio, listened for a moment, and acknowledged the message.
He turned to Cragen and said, "Sorry, Captain,
the weather's closed over Attica. We have to turn
back."
Cragen thought, *Dear God. God help Mikey.*
Face to face with the demon himself, Mike's pulse quicken,
his hands unclasped from behind his
back and he formed fists with them. Mason
moved in closer with his mic. First looking at Krolinsky,
then at Logan.
"So, again Detective Logan, What do you
have to say for yourself? Were you in fact..."
The sighs the audience made were almost deafing
to the ears and with everyone's attention on Mike,
no one heard the door at the back of the
room open and the tall slender man, who walked into the
room.
"....Krolinsky's confederate, a partner in
crime. Detective Logan everyone here in Attica and
everyone out there in our viewing audience
viewing this program wants to know?"
At the 2-7, Lenny's eyes were fused to the
TV. His own heart was pounding hard. Worried that his
friend, his partner would make the worst
mistake of his life. Anita VanBuren had just finished taking a
phone call and the look on her face was
that of gloom. Lenny could almost read her mind.
"Cragen couldn't make it, could he?" VanBuren
shook her head.
"No, the weather forced him to turn back."
Everyone in the squad room sighed.
"Dammit." Lenny closed his eyes. *Please,
dear god don't let him do it.*
The tall man that entered the room slowly
made his way closer to the front, so he could get a clear
view of Krolinsky.
Logan's vein throbbed on his temple as he
tightened his fists.
Logan looked at Mason with such a venomous glare that the other man stepped back.
Logan said, "I was one of his *victims!*
To him we were not people, just things to be hurt and
humiliated. Our suffering was the fuel of
his pleasure."
With that, Logan wheeled back to glare at
Krolinsky with even more fury than he'd shown Mason.
"No more!" Mike roared. "It ends here and
it ends right now!"
Krolinsky shrank back and croaked, "Help!"
He soiled his pants, and the wet fetid odor hit Mike's
nose like a bully's punch. He bared teeth
of white-hot rage.
Scarcely 100 feet away, infirmary patient
Daniel Magadan Jr. sat up in bed, unaware that he was
drooling. *Here it comes!*
"Mikey! Stop!"
Fr. Tom McGovern's voice cut through the
commotion like the last trumpet. Mike stopped his
advance on Krolinsky, who continued to cringe
in his chair, but Mike, breathing hard, did not turn in
McGovern's direction.
Tom rested a hand on Mike's shoulder. "Walk
away," he said softly, so softly no one else could hear.
"Walk away and you win."
It seemed as the world stopped its revolution
as everyone waited breathlessly for Mike's next move.
Simultaneously Magadan, Briscoe and VanBuren
watched the TV, each pondering what Mike's
reaction would be to the man who stepped
up to whisper in his ear.
Magadan leaned forward, aroused at the idea of getting even with the man who sent him there.
Lennie and VanBuren exchanged worried glances.
Lennie half-hoped the guy would drop dead right
there, giving Mike some satisfaction, some
closure in his life.
But Mike wanted him dead. He didn't want
to face his demons anymore- at night, when he was
showering, when making love ot a woman,
Mike wanted him gone.
In the brighly lit room in front of Mason
and what seemed like half the world, Mike heard Tom's
words, "walk away and you'll win" echoing
in his head.
Mike stared at the man who haunted him in
his dreams and stayed in his mind all his life. For thirty
years, this pitiful shell of a man colored
Mike's world and now he was an inch away from his
powerful hands. Swallowing hard, he slid
his gaze to Tom who looked beseechingly at Mike.
"Please, Mike."
Nodding, barely noticing anyone else at the
moment, Mike slowly turned. Fr. Tom smiled widely as
he gripped Mike around his shoulders as
he guided his friend away.
Mike Logan was thoughtful as he let his friend
lead him away. Mike Logan, who had just faced his
demon was now no longer Krolinksy's victim.
Mike Logan stepped into the precinct and
room grew quiet. He felt incredibly uncomfortable, feeling
every eye on him as he walked towards his
desk. Now, everyone knew his past. He steeled himself
at the disdain and pity he was sure to encounter.
At the end of the room, Lt. Van Buren started
to clap her hands. She applauded the most
courageous act her detective ever did. Pride
was in her eyes.
Her applause was slowly joined by other officers
till the entire squad room was roaring with
jubilation.
"Welcome back, Mike.", Lennie said. "You do us proud."
At the end of the day, Logan had finally
wrapped up the O'Connor/Collins homicide. With Charlotte
finally admitting to killing Collins and
attempting to murder her sister,the only witness to the crime, he
was definitely ready to go home.
HOME. Logan smiled.
-FIN-