Jokes sent in by: Catherine (mmmbopper@alloymail.com), Goodybag1 (goodybag1@smileyface.com), Maria (genuine9@hotmail.com), Johari (joedude80@yahoo.com)_________________________________________
Ed and Bill moved to Mexico to open a bungee-jumping
business.On the first day,they offered a demonstration to spur the locals
to open their wallets.Bill attached the cord to his ankle and dived off the tower.He soared through the crowd and then sprang back up.
When Bill got near the top,Ed noticed his friend's clothes
were torn.The next time he popped up,Bill had a few small scrapes,and the thrid time he looked bruised.Finally,he came to a stop and staggered up the ladder.
"What happened to you?"Ed asked.
"I don't know,"Bill answered."What's a pinata?"
A panda walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a ham sandwich.After eating his sandwich,the panda got up and looked around.He walked to the edge of the bar,pulled out a BB gun,and shot holes in the bar.Then he turned aroud to walk out the door. "Hey,"the bartender yelled,"what was that?"
"I'm a panda,"he replied,"look it up."
The panda turned around and walked out the door.The bartender pulled out an encyclopedia and read aloud:
"Panda:Asian mammal,herbivore;eats shoots and leaves."
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? Son : Well, where did you get mummy?
Tom : I found twenty cents on the sidewalk. Jim : That's mine. I dropped atwenty-cent coin there this morning. Tom : But, what I found was twenty-cent coins! Jim : That's it. I heard it breakwhen it hit the ground.
Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I meanto ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Teacher : Sam, who first invented underground tunnels? Sam : Worms, Sir?
Doctor : Face the window, would you? Now stick out your tongue. Patient : Why do I have to face the window? Doctor : Because I don't like the man next door.
Tara : I think our school is haunted. Mara : Why do you say that? Tara : Because the principal is always going on and on about the school spirit.
Little Johnny - Can I Go Now? There is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly canleave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good,I wantto get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question". The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'? >Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln". The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD. The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said,"Martin Luther King". The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before. The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The teacher said,"That's right Nancy. You can go".Johnny was BOILING MAD. Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnnysaid, "I wish these people would keep their mouths shut". The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON, CAN IGO NOW?"
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