I've been thinking for a while that Carey and Wildman would make a great couple, so I wrote a fanfic about them.  I can't for the life of me remember what she named her daughter, so I made up a name.  I have absolutely no idea what Carey's wife's name is or how many kids he has, or what their names are, so I made it up.  The title of this fanfic comes from a song by Roy Orbison, "Only the Lonely".  Since I picture Carey and Wildman as the two loneliest people on Voyager, it fits perfectly.
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Dedication: This story is dedicated to my friends and fellow Parisites, Lauren Taylor, Amy Bitter and Serena for encouraging me to write it.  Extra special thanks to Serena for helping out with Wildman's husband's name.  Also dedicated to Josh Clark and Nancy Hower for bringing the characters of Joe Carey and Samantha Wildman (however little of them we may see) to life, and to the writers for creating such good characters.  (Note to Brannon Braga, Jeri Taylor and Lisa Klink: More air time would be appreciated.)

Disclaimer: Joe Carey, Samantha Wildman, Greskrendtregk and everything else in the Star Trek universe, are owned by Paramount.  The words, ideas, Ensign Peter Hawkes, Lynne Carey, Calyssa Carey, Colin Carey, K'Ehyla Paris, Benjamin Paris, Kassandra Kim and Miranda Wildman are owned by me.  Archive, distribute, whatever, just keep my name and the disclaimer attached.  Comments, good and bad, are welcome and appreciated at: Mara_J_Antilles@hotmail.com
 

Only The Lonely
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By: Claire Daniels, (c) 1997

    Samantha Wildman yawned sleepily.  It had been an unusually slow shift in Stellar Cartography, and she had almost fallen asleep at her workstation.  She had picked up Miranda at Kes and Harry's.  She, Kassy, and K'Ehyla had had a play date.  Miranda was now sleeping peacefully in her bed, and Samantha crawled into her own bed and shut her eyes.
    She dreamed the same dream she did every night, that Voyager had made it back to the Alpha Quadrant, and her husband was waiting for her and Miranda when they docked at Deep Space Nine.  She missed Greskrendtregk so much.  She thought of him whenever she saw Tom and B'Elanna, Harry and Kes or the Captain and Chakotay together in the Mess Hall or the on the holodeck, but the nights were the hardest.  She knew that the likelihood of Voyager making it back to the Alpha Quadrant was slim, but she had to keep hoping they would, or she would go crazy.  She spent the rest of the night in a fitful sleep.

                                                           * * * * *

    Joe Carey entered his quarters and after stripping down to his Starfleet issue briefs, crawled into his bed and lay there in silence staring at the ceiling.  Ever since Voyager had gotten lost out in the Delta Quadrant, he had signed on for as many shifts in Engineering as Chakotay would let him have.  He even volunteered to be the one on call to make any late night repairs.  Anything to give his mind something else to think about other than what he had left behind in the Alpha Quadrant.  He wasn't so lucky tonight.  He had wanted to stay in Engineering a little while longer, at least until he was too exhausted to dream, but B'Elanna wouldn't let him.  She told him to get some sleep.  He wanted to tell her that she was asking the impossible.
    Rolling onto his side, he opened the drawer of the nightstand and took out the holopicture.  Her blond hair was framing her face, green eyes sparkling.  She was holding Colin in her arms, and Calyssa was standing next to her.  *Lynne,* he thought, *I miss you so much.*  Blinking as he felt the tears sting his eyes, he hugged the picture to his chest.  The tears ran down his cheeks and wet his pillow.  Emotionally and physically exhausted, he let sleep claim him.

                                                         * * * * *

 "You look like hell," B'Elanna said when he walked into Engineering.
 "Thanks," he replied with what he hoped was a convincing grin.
    He walked over to a console and started to go over the readings.  B'Elanna watched him, wishing there was something she could do.  They hadn't gotten along when she had first come on board.  He hadn't been happy when she was chosen over him for the position of Chief Engineer, but he had admitted that she was the better choice, and they had become friends.
 "Can I see you privately for a moment?" she asked him.
    Carey put on his best 'there's-nothing-wrong-with-me' look, and followed her to a quiet corner of Engineering.
 "What did you need, Chief?"
 "Joe," B'Elanna started then stopped, not quite sure how to phrase what she had to say.  "Is there something wrong?"
 "No," he replied.  "Everything's fine."  He hoped he sounded more convincing than he felt.  He didn't.
 "You may be able to hide it from everyone else, but I work with you every day," she smiled, "and I've had a lot of experience at knowing when someone's hiding something that's bothering them."
    He knew she was talking about Tom.  "It's nothing, really," he said.  "I just haven't been sleeping well lately, that's all."
 "Maybe you should go to Sickbay and have the Doctor give you something."
    He looked at her with a mock glare.  "No thanks.  I'd really like to avoid seeing the Doc unless it's absolutely necessary."
 "I can understand that," B'Elanna replied with a smile.  "Tom's not real thrilled about seeing him either.  I can't really say that I blame him."  She touched his arm and his eyes met hers.  She saw the pain in his hazel eyes, and her heart went out to him.  "If there's anything Tom and I can do," she said, "don't hesitate to ask."
 "I won't," he promised.  "Thank you, B'Elanna.  Your friendship means a lot to me."
    She smiled.  "Your friendship means a lot to me, too.  Now," she said with a mock stern look on her face, "don't you have some work to do?"
    He chuckled.  "Yes, ma'am!"  She watched as he returned to his station.  Well, at least she had gotten a laugh out of him.  She made a mental note to ask Tom and Harry to take him to Sandrine's and try to find out what was wrong.  She returned to her station as well, and the rest of the shift went smoothly.

                                                                * * * * *

    Samantha Wildman sat in the Mess Hall, having lunch.  Miranda was in the Nursery.  Normally, she and Miranda had lunch together, but there were some days when she just wanted to be alone for a few minutes.  Today was one of those days.
 "Samantha?"
  She looked up.  "Yes, Kes?"
 "May I join you?"
 "Certainly," Samantha said, indicating the empty chair across from her.
 "So, how have you been?"
 "Fine, thank you.  And you?  How have you been?"
 "Wonderful," Kes replied with a serene smile.  She studied Samantha.  Her blue eyes were troubled and red.  "Is something wrong?"
    Samantha looked up with a start.  She knew she'd been caught.  "No, not really.  I haven't been sleeping well, lately.  I keep having dreams."
 "What kind of dreams?"
 "About the Alpha Quadrant.  Going home."
 "You miss Greskrendtregk.  You're afraid that if Voyager does get back to the Alpha Quadrant, he'll have found someone else and you and Miranda will be alone."
    Samantha nodded.  "Do you think we'll ever get back to the Alpha Quadrant, Kes?"
 "I'm not sure.  I hope so.  If you need to talk again, Samantha, you can come and see me any time."
 "Thank you for the offer, Kes, and don't take offense to this, but you don't know what it's like.  You have your husband with you.  Harry is here to help you raise Kassy.  I'm happy for the two of you, I really am.  I just wish that Greskrendtregk was here with me, too."
 "I understand that.  Perhaps it would help to talk to another member of the crew who left someone back in the Alpha Quadrant.  Maybe the Captain could help."
 "I don't think so, Kes," Samantha said sadly.
 "If you ever do want to talk, our door is open to you."
 "Thanks, Kes."
    Kes smiled as she got up from the table.  She wished there was something she could do for her.  She hated to see her friend so sad.  She knew, though, that it was ultimately up to Samantha.  She would have to face it on her own.

                                                             * * * * *
 
    Joe Carey woke up in a cave.  *Where the hell am I?* he wondered.  He couldn't understand it.  He had gone to sleep in his quarters on Voyager, and he had just woken up in a cave.  If this was somebody's idea of a practical joke, he was going to have to hurt them.  He looked around, surveying his surroundings.  He noticed a body huddled in the corner.
    He cautiously crept up to the body and gently turned it over.  He was surprised to find that it was Samantha Wildman.  Carey checked for a pulse, and much to his relief, hers was strong and steady.  He quickly examined her for injuries.  He didn't find any, so he concluded that she was just sleeping, but why hadn't she woken up when he'd turned her over?  He was relieved when her eyes fluttered open.
    Samantha found herself looking into the hazel eyes of Lieutenant Joe Carey.  "Where are we?"
 "I'm not sure.  We're in a cave."  He helped her sit up.  "Are you okay?"
 "A little groggy, but otherwise fine."
 "Can you stand?"
 "I think so."
    He held out his hand.  As she took it, he used his other hand to grip her upper arm and gently pull her to a standing position.  She swayed slightly and he steadied her.
    He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off before he could even get a word out.  "I'm fine.  I just stood up too fast, that's all.  Let's find out where this cave leads."

                                                             * * * * *
    "Morning, Ensign," B'Elanna said in greeting as she entered Engineering.
 "Morning, Lieutenant," Ensign Peter Hawkes said.
 "Tell Lieutenant Carey I need the results of the diagnostics we ran yesterday."
 "I'm afraid I can't do that, Lieutenant."
 "Why not?" B'Elanna inquired.
 "Lieutenant Carey hasn't come in, yet," Hawkes replied.
    This worried B'Elanna.  Joe wasn't the type to be late for a shift.  "Computer," she commanded, "locate Lieutenant Carey."
 "Lieutenant Carey is not on board."
 "This is strange.  If he had taken a shuttle or transported, we would've detected it," B'Elanna said.  She turned to Hawkes.  "I'm going up to the bridge to speak to the Captain.  Do not mention this to anyone else.  You're in charge until I get back."
 "Yes, ma'am."

                                                            * * * * *

    Kes was walking down the corridor when she spotted Miranda Wildman a few feet ahead of her.  She caught the child and picked her up.
 "Where's your mother, Miranda?" she asked.  "I'm sure she doesn't know you're wandering the ship on your own.  Computer, locate Ensign Wildman."
 "Ensign Wildman is not on board."
 "What do you mean she's not on board?" Kes asked, thinking aloud.
 "That is not a valid question," the computer voice responded.
 "I wasn't talking to you," Kes replied, her voice tinged with annoyance.  She looked down at Miranda, still in her arms.  "Come on, let's go see the Captain."

                                                           * * * * *

    B'Elanna stepped out onto the bridge.  One look at her face told Janeway something was up.    "B'Elanna what's wrong?"
 "Lieutenant Carey is missing," she replied.
 "Missing?  Are you sure?" Chakotay asked.
 "Yes, Commander.  I asked the computer to locate him and it said he isn't on board."
 "How is it possible that he got off the ship and we didn't detect it?" Janeway asked.
 "I'm not certain.  He didn't take a shuttle, they're all present and accounted for.  The transporter logs show no record of any transports yesterday.  I'm baffled by this, Captain."
    The turbolift doors opened and Kes stepped onto the bridge still holding Miranda Wildman.    "Kes?" Janeway asked.
 "Captain, Samantha Wildman is missing."
 "All right, that makes two missing members of my crew.  I intend to find out what happened to them.  B'Elanna, I want you to keep working on it.  Kes, can you and Harry take care of Miranda?  I know Ensign Wildman would trust you to watch her."  Kes and Harry nodded.     "We're picking up a communication, Captain," Harry reported.
 "On screen," she commanded Harry.
    A young boy with golden hair and blue eyes, reminiscent of a cherub, appeared on the viewscreen.
 "Do not worry about your missing crew members, Captain," he said.  "I can assure you that they are safe."
 "Who are you?" Janeway demanded.  "What have you done with them?"
 "I am Erastus," he replied.  "They are in my realm.  They are tortured souls.  They will be returned to your ship once they have been relieved of their pain."
 "Relieved of what pain?" Janeway asked.
 "The pain of being without their loved ones."
 "Why choose them?  Everyone is in pain.  We are all far from our loved ones."
 "This is true," Erastus replied, "but you have found someone to love who will love you in return.  They have not, and they are unhappy.  Once they have rid themselves of their unhappiness, they will be returned."  He cut the communication and the screen went blank.
 "Captain?" B'Elanna inquired.
 "Can we trace the transmission?" Janeway asked Harry.
 "Negative, Captain.  There's too much spacial interference."
 "Kes, what can you tell me about him?" Janeway inquired.
 "He's not what he seems, Captain, but I don't sense any hostility.  He truly intends to help them."
 "Have any of you noticed that they've been unhappy?"
 "I have, Captain," B'Elanna spoke up.  "Lieutenant Carey has been extremely drawn into himself  lately."
 "Ensign Wildman has also been drawn in lately," Kes volunteered.  "She's been missing her husband, and I'd hazard a guess that Lieutenant Carey has been missing his wife and children."
 "Do you think that Erastus can help them, Kes?" Janeway asked.
 "I don't see any harm in letting him try.  So far, no one on board Voyager has been successful in helping them, I suggest that we give Erastus a chance.  They won't be much use to us in the state that they're in."
 "All right," Janeway decided.  "I suppose we'll just have to wait and see."

                                                             * * * * *

    They had been walking for about a mile when they saw a faint light in the distance.  Joe looked questioningly at Samantha, his expression asking if she wanted to continue onward.
 "Well, we aren't going to get anywhere if we sit around in the cave, so let's keep moving," she said.  He nodded his agreement.
    A few hundred yards later, they came to the cave's exit.  They were looking out the side of a mountain.  There were pine trees everywhere and the floor was covered with their needles.  They exited cautiously, not knowing what to expect.  After doing a quick inspection of their surroundings, they agreed that they were relatively safe.
 "I think we should head up the mountain," Samantha said.  "There might be some sort of control center here, and that's where it would be.  There would be less interference at the top and we'd be more likely to get a message out."
 "Yeah," Joe agreed.  "Assuming we could *get* to the top of the mountain."
 "We've got to try.  We aren't getting anywhere standing here."
    Joe nodded and he and Samantha made their way up the mountain.  They walked in silence for a long while, neither of them knowing what to say.  Suddenly, the wind kicked up and the air grew cold.  Samantha felt a snowflake land on her nose.
 "Where did that come from?" she asked Joe.
 "Your guess is as good as mine," he replied.  "We should look for some shelter.  There's bound to be more caves in the side of this mountain."
 "Well, we'd better find one before we freeze to death."
    They were able to find a cave that was pretty well protected from the snow.  Protection from the wind, now that was another story.  Joe and Samantha looked around the cave for anything they could use to start a fire.  As if by magic, a fire appeared in one corner of the cave. A little later a blanket and food appeared in the other.  They wondered who was playing these games and more importantly, when they would be released.  They sat eating in silence by the fire, the blanket wrapped around them.
 "Do you think the Captain and the rest of the crew have noticed we're missing yet?" Samantha asked after a while.
 "Well, I was supposed to work a shift in Engineering this morning.  When B'Elanna gets in and realizes I'm not there...well, I'll be lucky if she doesn't want my head on a circuit board."
 "Miranda's all by herself.  I wonder if..." her voice caught slightly and she couldn't continue her sentence.
    Joe touched her arm and she looked at him.  His hazel eyes held a sensitivity and caring that he rarely showed.  Samantha felt as though she were looking at a part of Joe Carey that was kept hidden from everyone.
 "She's fine," he said confidently.  "Once they realize we're missing, Tom and B'Elanna or Harry and Kes will take care of her until we get back.  She's okay."
    Samantha looked away, feeling foolish for getting so upset in front of him.  "You're right, of course," she agreed.  "I just..."  There she was at a loss for words again.
 "Hey, it's okay.  She's all you have.  If it were Calyssa, I'd be a basketcase, too."
 "How do you deal with it?" she asked.
    Joe's face turned sad.  Samantha immediately regretted the question.  "I try not to," he said softly.  "I bury myself in work so I won't have to think about them.  I stay up late so I won't have to dream about them.  I don't want to have to feel the pain.  I know if I do, I won't be able to stand it."  He wasn't sure why he was talking to Samantha Wildman about this, but he knew he needed to talk to someone, and once he started, he couldn't keep the words in.  He grew quiet and the silence stretched out for a long moment.
    Samantha figured it was her turn.  "I do pretty much the same thing," she confessed.  "I'd like to shrivel up and not have to face anyone, but Miranda won't let me.  I go to work, take care of her and go to sleep.  I try not to dream or think about home..."  She shrugged.  "I have it better than you, though.  At least I have Miranda here with me.  I don't know how you handle not being able to see your kids.  I couldn't live with that."
 "It's not easy."
 "I think about Greskrendtregk all the time.  I dream about him at night.  Starfleet thinks we're dead.  He's probably moved on.  He's probably met..."
     Another blast of frigid air blew through the cave.  They had expected the fire to go out, but it kept burning.  They sat together in silence until sleep finally claimed them.
 

     * * * * *

    Samantha awoke in the middle of the night to find Joe's arm around her.  She knew it didn't mean anything, but the contact felt good.  The fire was still burning and they were snowed in.  Joe was tossing and turning restlessly.  She debated waking him up, but decided that she didn't want to disturb him.  She closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.  A short while later, she awoke again, but this time, Joe was in the far corner of the cave.  His back was to her and she could hear muffled sobs coming from his side of the cave.  She walked over and knelt beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders and rubbing his back like she would her daughter's.
 "What's the matter?" she asked.
    His hazel eyes met her blue ones, then looked away, embarrassed at being caught.  She spoke to him in hushed whispers, telling him that it was okay to cry and he could tell her what was wrong.  She didn't think any less of him.  He finally calmed down enough to speak.
 "It's the same dream I have every night," he said.  "Voyager's made it back and I show up at home.  Colin answers the door and says there's some strange guy in a Starfleet uniform on the front step.  Lynne comes to the door and invites me in.  Then she tells me she's with someone else.  She doesn't want to leave him.  The kids come in and ask her when Daddy's coming home.  They didn't even know me.  I was just some strange guy in a uniform.  It hurts."
 "I know," she said softly, keeping her arm around him.  "I know."
    He sniffled slightly, then turned to look at her.  Her blue eyes held such compassion, he knew he didn't have to worry about what she would think of him.
 "Are you all right?" she asked.
 "I'm okay," he said with a small smile.  "Thanks for listening."
 "It's the least I could do," she replied with a smile of her own.  "I just wish there was something I could do to make it better."
 "You've done more than you know just by listening."
 

     * * * * *

    Erastus watched the two of them.  *Maybe,* he thought, *they won't be lonely anymore.*  He turned around as his father came into the room.
 "How are you doing today, Son?" his father asked.
 "Fine."
 "What are you watching?"
 "Oh, nothing much," he replied, making a move to cover his viewer.  He wasn't fast enough.  His father saw what he was up to.
 "Q!  How many times have I told you that Aunt Kathy's crew is off-limits?" Q asked.  "You return them to Voyager at once!"
    Q snapped his fingers and Joe and Samantha were returned to Voyager.
 

     * * * * *

 "We're back," Samantha said.  They found themselves standing on the bridge.
 "Are you two all right?" Janeway asked.
 "We're fine, Captain," Joe answered.
 "Can you tell us anything about what happened?" Janeway inquired.
 "You'll have a full report as soon as possible," Samantha answered.
 "Very good," Janeway said.  "Dismissed."
    After they left the bridge, Janeway went into her ready room.
 "Greetings, Madame Captain," said a voice.
 "Q," Janeway said.  "I suppose you had something to do with the disappearances of Lieutenant Carey and Ensign Wildman?"
 "No, no, no, Madame Captain, but I know who did."  He motioned and a boy stepped out of the shadows.  "Go ahead, Q," Q prompted his son.
 "I'm sorry, Aunt Kathy.  I didn't mean to hurt anyone."
 "Why did you do it, Q?" Janeway asked.
 "They just looked so sad and lonely.  I thought I could help.  I promise not to play with your crew anymore.  Daddy says it isn't nice."
 "Apology accepted, Q," Janeway said with a smile.  "Thank you for trying to help."  Q smiled up at his father.
 "Au revoir, Madame Captain," Q said, then he snapped his fingers and he and his son disappeared.
 

     * * * * *

    The next day, Joe entered the Mess Hall and spotted Samantha and Miranda having lunch.  He grabbed a tray and made his way over to them.
 "Afternoon, Ensign," he greeted Samantha.
 "Samantha," she corrected him.
 "Samantha," he repeated.
 "Would you like to join us?" she asked.
   "If you're sure I'm not intruding," he said.
 "Not at all," she said with a smile.  She turned to her daughter.  "Miranda, you remember Joe, don't you?"
    The girl nodded.  "Hello," she said.
 "Hi there," he replied as he took the other seat next to Samantha.
    Janeway, seated at a table with Chakotay, watched the two of them from the other side of the room.  *Sometimes, Q isn't so bad.*
 

The End

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