The Holozoo program comes form MetroZoo here in my home state of Florida.  Atokad is nothing more than Dakota spelled backwards.  Pierre Bismarck comes from the capitals of South and North Dakota respectively.  Crater Lake is located in Oregon.
 Benjamin comes from a story written by JoAnna Walsvic, 'Love Is Blind'.  In the story, B'Elanna had a brother named Benjamin, who died when he was a baby.  K'Ehyla is actually Kayla, but I gave it a Klingon spelling.  Kassandra is a name I have always liked.  It means 'prophetess'.  I figure that since Kes has psionic powers, it makes sense that her daughter would have them too.
 I'm back to song titles again.  This one is a song by The Escape Club.  It's off of their 'Dollars and Sex' album.  (Don't let the title of the album scare you.  It really has nothing to do with sex.)  For those of you not familiar with the song, here it is:

I'll Be There
~~~~~~~~~~
By: The Escape Club

Over mountains, over trees
Over oceans, over seas
Across the desert
I'll be there
In a whisper on the wind
On the smile of a new friend
Just think of me
And I'll be there

Chorus:
Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight
To be with you.
Because I'm on your side
And I still care
I may have died
But I've gone nowhere
Just think of me
And I'll be there

On the edge of a waking dream
Over rivers, over streams
Through wind and rain
I'll be there
Across the wide and open sky
Thousands of miles I'd fly
To be with you
I'll be there

(Chorus)

Just think of me
And I'll be there

In the breath of a wind that sighs
Oh, there's no need to cry
Just think of me
And I'll be there

(Chorus)

Just think of me
and I'll be there
Think of me
And I'll be there

P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T! P/T!

Dedication:  This fanfic is dedicated to the KicKers.  Also dedicated to Garrett Wang and Jennifer Lien for bringing the characters of Harry Kim and Kes to life, and to the writers for creating such terrific characters.

Disclaimer:  Harry Kim, Kes, and everything else in the Star Trek universe are owned by Paramount, but the words, ideas, Pierre Bismarck, Benjamin Paris, K'Ehyla Paris, Miranda Wildman and Kassandra Kim are owned by me.  If you don't like sad stories or the idea of Harry and Kes married with a child grosses you out, it's time to find another story.  You have been warned.  If you do decide to read this story, have tissues ready and enjoy.  Archive, distribute, whatever, just keep my name and disclaimer attached.  Comments, good and bad, are welcome and appreciated at: Mara_J_Antilles@hotmail.com.

Just Think of Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(c) 1997, By: Claire Daniels

    Harry and Kes woke up to the sound of their daughter, Kassandra, screaming.  They went into Kassy's room.
 "Computer, increase illumination twenty percent." Harry commanded as Kes sat on the bed to soothe the screaming child.
 "Kassy, what's the matter?" she asked softly.
 "I had a bad dream." Kassy said.
 "Do you want to tell me about it?" Kes asked, stroking her hair.
    Kassy opened her mouth and the words came tumbling out.
 "Daddy went down to this planet and these bad men tried to shoot Uncle Chakotay, and Daddy pushed him put of the way and they shot Daddy instead and the Doctor tried to save Daddy, but he couldn't and Daddy went away, and I never got to say goodbye..." Kassy voice trailed off as she buried her face in her mother's chest and broke into sobs.
   Harry looked at his wife as she tried to calm Kassy.  She saw his concerned look.  Kassy was about the size of a four-year-old human.  Because of her half-Human, half-Ocampan physiology, it was difficult to measure her exact age, so they just went by human years.  Kassy hadn't had a nightmare in a while.  He wondered what had brought this on.  Kes had finally soothed Kassy enough to get her back to sleep.
 "I'll take her down to Sickbay tomorrow and see if the Doctor can help." Kes said.               "Good idea." Harry nodded, "We'd better get back to sleep.  Tomorrow's going to be a busy day."

    * * * * *
 
    The next day, Kes took Kassy down to Sickbay and had the Doctor check her out.
 "She's perfectly fine, Kes." the Doctor said, "I recommend that Ensign Kim spend some quality time with her so she sees that he isn't going anywhere."
 "Thank you, Doctor." Kes replied, and left to drop Kassy off at the Nursery.
    When she arrived at the Nursery, Kes spotted B'Elanna dropping the twins off.  Kes wondered with amazement how Tom and B'Elanna managed to take care of two children at once when she and Harry had their hands full with one.
 "Morning, Kes." B'Elanna said taking a close look at her friend, "What's the matter?  You look awful."
 "Kassy was up with a terrible nightmare last night.  It took Harry and me forever to get her back to sleep.  She seems fine this morning, though."
 "K'Ehyla used to have nightmares, too.  Tom and I would have to take turns staying up with her.  Ben's just like his father.  He can sleep through anything." B'Elanna beamed with motherly pride as she looked at her five-year-olds.
 "Well," Kes said with a yawn, "I hope that she doesn't have any more nightmares anytime soon.  I don't think I could take another night like last night."
 "Come on." B'Elanna said with a smile, "We're going to be late for the staff meeting."
 "Yeah," Kes said yawning again, "I hope I don't fall asleep through it."
 "If you do, I'll nudge you."
 "Thanks." Kes said wryly.
    Kathryn Janeway looked at her senior staff.  Harry looked as though he were going to fall asleep right there, and Kes didn't look any better.  She made a mental not to give them both a day off to catch up on their sleep, but that would have to wait until after the trade negotiations with the Atokadi.
 "Commander, you'll be leading the Away Team.  Choose your members.  Everyone will report back here for a briefing in one hour."
 "Harry," Chakotay asked, "do you think you're up to this?  If you are, I could really use you down there."
 "I can do it, Commander." Harry replied.  He could catch an hour of sleep before the briefing.
 "Very well.  Harry, Tuvok, Neelix, you're with me."
 "Anything else?" Janeway asked looking around the room, "Dismissed."
    Harry and Kes went back to their quarters to catch an hour of sleep.  Tuvok went to his quarters to meditate, as did Chakotay, and Neelix went to the Mess Hall to take care of the lunch crowd.  Everyone else started their respective duty shifts.
    An hour later, they were reconvened in the conference room for a briefing.
 "These trade negotiations are very important for Voyager." Janeway stated, "We'll be able to pick up some needed supplies and the Atokadi may have some knowledge of this area of the quadrant that might prove to be useful."
 "What kind of supplies will we be picking up, Captain?" Harry Kim asked, looking rather well-rested after his nap.
 "We'll be getting some food supplies that Neelix assures us are very tasty."
 "If it's anything like leola root, I say we pass." Tom muttered.  B'Elanna elbowed her husband and shot him a warning look.  She didn't like leola root anymore than he did, but the Captain had assigned Carey to clean the warp coils for two weeks after he made a wise crack about Neelix's cooking.  Luckily for Tom, the Captain hadn't heard him.
 "We'll also be picking up some medical supplies.  The Doctor has informed me that we are in short supply of quite a few things.  The negotiations will be held tomorrow evening down on Atokad.  If there are no further questions, everyone is dismissed."
 "Hey," Tom said as they filed out of the room, "I heard you and Kes had a rough night last night."
 "Yeah, Kassy had a nightmare and it took forever for her to go back to sleep.  Honestly, Tom, I don't know how you and B'Elanna do it."
 "Do what?"
 "Take care of the twins.  Kes and I have our hands full with just one kid, and you and B'Elanna are breezing along with two."
 "It's not always as easy as it looks." Tom said with a wan smile.
 "You can say that again."
 "I would, but I've got to get back to the Bridge." Tom said, kissing B'Elanna goodbye.
 "The kids and I will meet you for dinner in the Mess." B'Elanna called after him.
 "Okay." he replied with a nod, and headed off to the Bridge.
 "So, Harry, what are you gonna do?"
 "Well, Kes said that the Doc thinks I should spend some quality time with Kassy, so I think I'll take her to the Holozoo.  She's been bugging me to take her for weeks now." turning to Kes he said, "You don't have to be in Sickbay until later.  Why don't we all go as a family?"
 "That's a great idea.  I'll go down and get Kassy and we'll meet you back at our quarters."
 "Okay." Harry said kissing his wife quickly on the lips, "I'll see you in a little bit."
 "Well, I've got to go to Engineering and check on some things.  Kes, I'll talk to you later about the sleep-over tomorrow night."
 "Okay." Kes replied as the three of them went their separate ways.
    Kes walked into the Nursery to get her daughter.  Samantha Wildman was watching the children.
 "Hi, Sam." Kes greeted her, "How was she?"
 "Just fine.  She's been playing all morning."
 "Great." Kes said as she walked over to where Kassy was seated on the floor playing with K'Ehyla Paris and sat on the floor next to the two girls.
 "Hi, Mommy," Kassy said giving her mother a kiss on the cheek and handing her a holosketchpadd, "look what I made today."
 That's beautiful, Sweetheart." Kes said taking the PADD, "Guess what?"
 "What?"
 "I've got a surprise for you."
 "Really?" she asked cocking her head to the side, her dark curls framing her face.
 "Yes," Kes nodded, "do you remember how you asked Daddy to take you to the Holozoo?"
 "Yes." Kassy replied, her frown marring her elfin features, "Daddy said he was too busy."
 "Well, Daddy and I are going to take you today."
 "Goody!" Kassy exclaimed, her blue eyes dancing.
 "We've got to go home and get changed." Kes said, hauling Kassy to her feet, "Say goodbye to K'Ehyla."
 "Bye, K'Ehyla." Kassy said dutifully.
 "Bye, Kassy." K'Ehyla replied.  She wanted to go to the Holozoo, too. She would have to get Mommy and Daddy to take her and Ben.
    Kes and Kassy hurried back to the Kim quarters to change their clothes.  Harry was waiting for them when they got there.  He had changed, too.  He was wearing civvies.  Kes and Kassy changed quickly and the three of them headed down to the holodeck.
 "Computer, run program, MetroZoo." Harry commanded.
 "Program running.  You may enter when ready."
    They entered the holodeck and Kassy's eyes grew wide.  There were so many things to see, she wasn't sure where to look first.  The three of them walked around the zoo for about four hours.  Harry walked in between Kassy and Kes.  They all held hands as they walked through the zoo.  Kassy was having a great time with her parents, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen.  Finally, they left the zoo, and headed to the Mess Hall to have dinner before Kes had to be in Sickbay.
    The three of them had a nice dinner and Kes dropped Kassy off at Sam Wildman's.  She and Miranda had a play date and Samantha had offered for Kassy to spend the night.
 "Thanks for watching her, Sam." Kes said.
 "No problem." Sam replied, "Miranda has been wanting to have her over.  They get along so well."
 "Yes, they do.  I've got to run or I'll be late for my shift in Sickbay."
 "You go ahead.  Don't worry about her."
 "Goodnight, Angel," Kes said, dropping a kiss on the top of Kassy's head, "be good for Sam."
 "I will, Mommy." Kassy replied, already engrossed in playing with Miranda.
    Kes left for Sickbay, hoping that Kassy wouldn't have any nightmares.  She arrived in Sickbay and the Doctor told her what he wanted her to do.  Her shift progressed without any problems.  On the Bridge, Harry's shift went equally without incident.  Meanwhile, Miranda and Kassy were playing in the Wildman quarters, having the time of their lives.  They were currently putting their "babies" to bed.
 "Would you girls like something to drink?" Samantha asked.
 "Yes." Miranda said.
 "How about you, Kassy?"
 "Okay."
 "What would you like, Miranda?"
 "Apple juice." she replied, ordering her favorite.
 "Kassy?"
 "Lemonade, please." she said, remembering her manners.
 "Computer, an apple juice and a lemonade.  Charge to Samantha Wildman."  Samantha said.  She waited a few seconds, but nothing appeared.
 "Computer, one apple juice, one lemonade.  Charge to Samantha Wildman." she said again, repeating her order.  Nothing happened.
 "Ensign Wildman to Engineering." Samantha said tapping her commbadge.
 "Torres here." B'Elanna replied over the comm link, "What do you need, Sam?"
 "I've got a problem with my replicator.  I just ordered a couple of drinks for the kids and nothing happened."
 "A circuit probably needs to be replaced.  I'll send someone up to look at it."
 "Thanks, B'Elanna."
 "You're welcome.  Torres out."

    * * * * *
 "I've got a job for you." B'Elanna said when Joe Carey arrived in Engineering for his shift.
 "What is it, Chief?"
 "The replicator in Sam Wildman's quarters is malfunctioning.  I told her I'd send someone up to look at it, but I've got my hands full with the diagnostics on the plasma conduits, so you'll have to check it out."
 "I'll head up there now." he said, and left Engineering.

    * * * * *
 
    The door to the Wildman quarters chimed.
 "Come in." Samantha called out.
    The door opened, allowing Lieutenant Carey to enter.
 "Evening, Ensign," Carey greeted her, "what seems to be the problem?"
 "I ordered a couple of drinks for the girls," she said, gesturing to Miranda and Kassy, "and nothing happened."
 "Well," Carey said, smiling brightly at Miranda and Kassy, "let's see if we can't fix the problem so you can get your drinks, okay?"
    The girls nodded.  Carey opened the panel to the replicator and pulled out a tricorder from the repair kit he'd brought.  He scanned it and waited for the reading.
 "Just like I thought.  I just need to replace a circuit.  This won't take long."
    Carey worked for a few minutes then closed the panel.
 "All done." he said, "Now, what was it you wanted to order?"
 "Apple juice." Miranda said.
 "Lemonade." added Kassy.
 "Computer, one apple juice, one lemonade,"
 "Charge to Samantha Wildman." Samantha finished.
    The drinks appeared and Carey handed them to the girls.  He packed up the repair kit and stood to leave.
 "It should work fine now." he told Samantha, "If it malfunctions again, call me."
 "Thank you, Lieutenant." she replied.  Turning to the girls, she said, "Miranda, Kassy, what do you say?"
 "Thank you, Lieutenant Carey." they said in unison.
 "My pleasure.  You have a nice evening, Ladies." he said patting the girls on their heads and  winking at Samantha."
 "Thank you, Lieutenant. Same to you." Samantha replied.
    Carey left with a wave.

    * * * * *
    Harry, Kes and Kassy were having dinner together in the Mess Hall.  They were making plans for the next day off that Harry and Kes had.  Currently, they were trying to decide whether to visit Crater Lake or Washington D.C.  They finally decided on Crater Lake.  The scenery was very beautiful there, and Harry wanted Kes and Kassy to see the majesty of nature that simply couldn't be witnessed out in the Delta Quadrant.
 "Chakotay to Kim."
 "Kim here." Harry replied, tapping his commbadge.
 "We're about ready to go.  We'll meet you in the transporter room."
 "Acknowledged." Harry said, "Kim out."
 "Well," he said turning to Kes and Kassy, "looks like this is it.  You behave for your mother while I'm gone."
 "Okay, Daddy." Kassy replied, reaching out to hug him.  Harry hugged her back and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
 "I love you." he said to Kes, kissing her softly.
 "I love you, too." she replied.
    Harry kissed Kes and Kassy one more time and headed to the transporter room to meet the others.

    * * * * *
   "Welcome to Atokad." the man greeted Chakotay.
 "Thank you." Chakotay replied, "It is an honor to be here."
 "I am Pierre Bismarck, the President of Atokad."
 "I am Commander Chakotay, Voyager's First Officer." Chakotay said and introduced each of the men with him, "This is Tuvok, our Chief of Security, Harry, our Operations officer, and Neelix, our Morale officer and Ambassador."
 "I am pleased to meet all of you." Pierre said, "Come, let us go into the conference chamber."
    As they followed Pierre and his guards, Chakotay noticed one of the onlookers who had gathered glaring at him with a look that made his blood run cold.  He shook off the feeling that something bad was about to happen as they were led into the conference chamber.  The guards waited by the door as the rest of them took their seats at the big wooden conference table.  Chakotay sat facing Pierre, Harry sat to Chakotay's right.  To Harry's right sat Tuvok, and to Tuvok's right, sat Neelix.  The five men talked for a few hours before finally coming to a trade agreement they all felt satisfied with.
 "It would be an honor if you would join us in celebrating the new agreement, Commander."
 "We would be honored to join you." Chakotay replied.
 "Excellent.  Please, follow me." Pierre said as he exited the chamber.
    They were led by Pierre and his guards to what appeared to be a banquet hall of some sort.  any of the Atokadi were gathered there.  A servant came around with drinks and after making sure that Chakotay, Harry, Tuvok and Neelix each had a glass, Pierre raised his own glass.
 "To our new friends," he said, "many thanks for their assistance."
    "To our new friends, the Atokadi," Chakotay replied raising his own glass, "you have our thanks for you trade of vital supplies."
    More pleasantries were exchanged and Tuvok got into a discussion with Pierre on the finer points of logic.  Harry looked around the room and noticed a man walking toward Chakotay.  He saw the man pull something out of his robe and begin raising his arm up.
 "Commander!  Look out!" Harry yelled as he pushed Chakotay out of the way, taking the full brunt of the blast in his stomach.
    Chakotay rolled over to see Atokadi guards subduing a man and taking him into custody.  He realized that it was the man who had been glaring at him earlier.  Chakotay made his way back to where Harry Kim lay, Tuvok kneeling over him.
 "Chakotay to Voyager, four to beam up.  Beam Ensign Kim directly to Sickbay."
 
    * * * * *
    Harry Kim materialized in Sickbay.  The Doctor immediately ran a medical tricorder over his inert form.
 "Doctor to Kes."
 "Kes here." she replied tapping her commbadge.  Kes was sitting on the couch with Tom and B'Elanna's in their quarters.  Kassy and K'Ehyla were in the twins' room with Benjamin playing a game.
 "You must come down to Sickbay immediately."
 "What is it, Doctor?  What's wrong?"
 "It's Ensign Kim.  There's been an incident."
 "You go ahead." B'Elanna said, "Don't worry about Kassy.  We'll be here."
 "I'm on my way." Kes replied, and left for Sickbay.
 "Do you think he'll be okay?" B'Elanna asked Tom, brown eyes searching blue.
 "I wish I knew." Tom replied, wrapping his arms around his wife.
    When Kes arrived in Sickbay, she saw Harry lying on a biobed, a large burn from a laser blast in the middle of his stomach.
 "How is he?" she asked the Doctor, trying to keep her voice calm.
 "His vital signs are weak.  There was extensive internal damage from the laser blast.  I'll do my best, but it doesn't look good."
    Chakotay and the Captain entered Sickbay then.
 "How's Harry, Doctor?" the Captain asked.
 "I was just telling Kes that it doesn't look good."
 "What happened?" Kes asked Chakotay.
 "The trade talks were over and we were invited to attend a reception to celebrate.  There was a faction of the Atokadi that didn't want the negotiations.  One of them shot at us.  Harry pushed me out of the way and was hit by the blast himself."
 "Bridge to Captain Janeway." Tuvok's voice, calm as ever, said over the comm.
 "Janeway here." she replied, pressing her commbadge, "What is it?"
 "President Bismarck is hailing us, Captain.  I believe that you and Commander Chakotay should come to the Bridge."
 "We're on our way." the Captain replied, "Doctor, keep me posted."
 "Aye, Captain." the Doctor replied as Janeway and Chakotay left Sickbay.
 "May I have a few moments alone with him?" Kes asked.
 "Of course." the Doctor said, "I will monitor his condition from my office."
 "Thank you." Kes said as she moved a stool next to Harry's bedside.
    Sitting on the stool, Kes took his hand.  Harry opened his eyes.
 "Hi." Kes said, keeping her voice as calm as she could.
 "You're...here." Harry rasped out.  His speaking was labored as was his breathing.  His breaths came in wheezes due to the damage the blast had done to his lungs.
 "Ssh, don't try to talk." Kes said in a soothing voice, "You have to save your strength."
 "No.  Have to...tell...you...things."
 "That can wait." she replied, still trying to soothe him.
 "No.  You...have...to know."
 "Know what?"
 "I'm...sorry.  I...won't...be able...to see...Kassy...grow...up.   Tell her...I...love her.  Tell her...I...didn't...want...to...leave her."
 "You're not going to leave her, Harry, you're going to be fine."
 "I'm...dying,...Kes,...we both...know that."
 "Don't talk like that." Kes said, unable to hold the tears in any longer, "How am I supposed to raise our daughter without you?"
 "Don't...cry.  I...know...you'll...do...just...fine."
    "Harry..."
 "Remember...I...love you, Kes." he said as his last breath left him.
    The Doctor came running out of his office.  He worked feverishly to bring Harry back, but it was no use.  He looked up at Kes and shook his head.
 "Gods, no." Kes said, beginning to sob.
 "Medical log, Ensign Harry Kim, death, 23:00 hours.  Cause, laser burn to the abdominal cavity."  The Doctor tapped his commbadge.  "Doctor to Captain Janeway."
 "Janeway here.  Go ahead, Doctor."
 "Please report to Sickbay, Captain."
 "On my way.  Janeway out."
    When Janeway arrived in Sickbay, she took one look at Kes's face and knew that they had lost Harry Kim.  She walked over to the grieving widow and placed her hand on the younger woman's shoulder.
 "He's gone, Captain.  What am I going to do?" Kes said, looking up at the woman she saw as her second mother, as she started to cry again.
 Janeway put her arms around the young girl she had come to love as a daughter.
 "I don't know, Kes." she said, "I don't know."
    Kes left Sickbay shortly after.  She headed for Tom and B'Elanna's quarters.  When the door opened and Kes walked into the room, both Tom and B'Elanna knew that Harry was gone.  B'Elanna and Tom each hugged their friend and then Tom went into the twins' room and called Benjamin and K'Ehyla out to the living area.  Kes went into the bedroom to speak to her daughter.
     "Daddy," Benjamin asked when he saw B'Elanna's tearstained face, "why is Mommy crying?"
 "Well, Champ," Tom explained picking him up and sitting him on his lap, "your mother's very sad because Uncle Harry was hurt very very badly."
 "Will he be okay?" K'Ehyla asked as she crawled onto her mother's lap.
 "I'm afraid not, Doodle-bug." B'Elanna said, her voice thick, "Uncle Harry was hurt very badly, and there was nothing else the Doctor could do."
 "Uncle Harry's dead?" Benjamin asked, starting to cry.
 "I'm afraid so." B'Elanna said, starting to cry again.
 "What are Aunt Kes and Kassy going to do?"
 "I'm not sure, Cupcake, but she's going to need all the help she can get." Tom said.

    * * * * *
    The whole crew was gathered in the Mess Hall.  Kassy sat on her mother''s lap.  She was dressed all in black.  The room was quiet as Tom rose to speak.
 "Harry Kim was my best friend.  He the first person who accepted me for who I was.  I remember when I first met him.  We were on the Promenade at DS9 and a Ferengi was trying to sell him a tray full of worthless crystals.  I told him it was a mistake to buy them.  He listened to me, and from then on we were friends.  We've been through so much together.  It's hard for me to believe that he's gone.  He saved my life many times.  If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here.  I wouldn't have married my wife, and I wouldn't have my two beautiful children.  I'll never forget you Harry." Tom finished and took his seat.  B'Elanna handed K'Ehyla to him and he seated his daughter on his lap as B'Elanna rose to speak.
 "I first met Harry Kim on the Ocampan homeworld.  He wasn't scared off by my Klingon side the way most people were.  He was one of my best friends.  I could talk to him about anything.  I'll miss that.  I'll miss the way he used to laugh at Tom's jokes.  I'll miss his clarinet solos in the talent show.  I'll miss the way he would go out of his way to help people.  Most of all, I'll miss having him around to talk to.  He was a good man, and he was my friend.  I never really had a real friend before I came onto Voyager, and I know I'll never forget him."  B'Elanna reclaimed her seat next to Tom and lifted their son onto her lap.
 "Harry Kim was a fine officer." Captain Janeway said, rising to speak, "He was loyal and noble.  I couldn't have asked for a better officer.  I have seen him grow up, start a familly, and find happiness.  I am only sorry that he wasn't able to enjoy that happiness for very long.  I will never forget his courage or his dedication." She finished, taking her seat.
    Kes rose to speak.
 "I would like to thank everyone for coming and honoring Harry this way.  I know he would have been very happy to know that so many people respected him.  I loved him very much.  He was a terrific husband and a devoted father, and I'm not sure how Kassy and I will ever make it without him."  Kes lifted Kassy into her arms.
    The coffin was released into space as Kes held her crying daughter close, wondering how she was going to raise her alone.

The End.

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