Forward Thinking This is dedicated to everyone who
has ever forwarded an email message of any kind. You have to be a true
e-mail user to understand the humor.:-)
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young
man, was home recovering
from having been served a rat
in his bucket of Kentucky Fried
Chicken. So anyway, one day he went
to sleep and when he awoke he was
in his bathtub and it was full of ice
and he was sore all over. When he
got out of the tub he realized
that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he
saw a note on his mirror that said
"Call 911!" But he was afraid to use
his phone because it was connected
to his computer, and there was a
virus on his computer that would destroy
his hard drive if he opened an
e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"
He knew it wasn't a hoax because he
himself was a computer
programmer who was working on
software to save us from Armageddon
when the year 2000 rolls around.
His program will prevent a global
disaster in which all the computers
get together and distribute the
$600 Neiman
Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.
(It's true-I read it all last week
in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES
HIMSELF, who was also promising
me a free Disneyworld vacation and
$5,000 if I would forward the e-mail
to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911
from a pay phone to report
his missing kidneys, but reaching into
the coin-return slot he got
jabbed with an HIV- infected needle
around which was wrapped a note
that said, "Welcome to the world of
AIDS." Luckily he was only a few
blocks from the hospital-the one, actually,
where that little boy
who is dying of cancer is, the
one whose last wish is for everyone
in the world to send him an e-mail
and the American Cancer Society has
agreed to pay him a nickel for every
e-mail he receives. I sent him
two e-mails and one of them was
a bunch of x's and o's in the shape
of an angel (if you get it and forward
it to twenty people you will
have good luck but ten people you will
only have ok luck and if you
send it to less than ten people you
will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN
YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive
himself to the hospital, but
on the way he noticed another
car driving along without his lights
on. To be helpful, he flashed
his lights at him and was promptly
shot as part of a gang initiation.
And it's a little-known fact that
the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
IF YOU DO NOT FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO
666 PEOPLE,
YOUR SOUL WILL BE SUCKED OUT THROUGH
YOUR
NOSE AND THEN RAFFLED OFF TO THE HIGHEST
DEMON
BIDDER ON HELL'S HOME SHOPPING NETWORK...
SO BEWARE... BEWARE... BEWARE...