2. Sometimes, we are not thinking about having sex.  

3. "I ate it, didn't I?" is not considered praise.  

4. Your responsibility for raising children does NOT end at conception.  

5. Get rid of your comb-over. It's not different -- it's just as ridiculous as every other comb over. You're losing your hair -- face it.  

6. An order of takeout ribs and a Chris Farley(or Adam Sandler) movie is not everybody's idea of a good time.  

7. "Yeah yeah, you look fine" is not a compliment.  

8. Yes, I DO tell my best friend everything.  

9. You have enough ballcaps.  

10. You have too many t-shirts.  

11. You're too old to wear a goatee.  

12. Every actor we find attractive is not gay. You can stop using this one - - we've all heard it.  

13. A hug is not always a prelude to sex.  

14. When we ask "are you listening," we already know you're not.  

15. Your best friend is an idiot.  

16. Nothing says "I love you" like offering to go to the grocery store.  

17. If you can rebuild the carburetor on a '66 Mustang, working the  
washing machine should be a snap.  

18. Yes and no are sometimes acceptable answers -- grunts and blank stares are not.  

19. A sore back that prevents you from doing household chores for 17  
months is a problem. See a doctor.  

20. Underwear is like a car. After five years, it needs to be replaced  
with a newer model.  

21. A romantic weekend getaway does not involve baiting a hook.  

22. Slapping us on the butt and saying "how bout getting me a cold one" is not foreplay.  

23. The missionary position is best left to missionaries.  

24. Rolling over and mumbling "I've got to get some sleep" does not  
produce an afterglow.  

25. If it was really good for me...you wouldn't have to ask.  
 

2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.  

3. Don't make us guess.  

4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to... expect an answer  
you don't want to hear.  

5. Some times, we're not thinking about you.  

6. We're never thinking about "the relationship."  

7. Get rid of your cat. No, it's not different -- it's just like every other cat.  

8. Dogs are better than any cats.  

9. Sunday = sports.  

10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.  

11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.  

12. You have enough clothes.  

13. You have too many shoes.  

14. Crying is blackmail. use it if you have to, but don't expect us to like it.  

15. Your brother is an idiot.  

16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.  

17. No... we don't know what day it is. Mark anniversaries.  

18. Share the bathroom.  

19. Share the closet.  

20. "Yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers.  

21. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.  

22. Nothing says "I love you!" like sex in the morning.  

23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.  

24. Check your oil.  

25. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.