| Degrees
(Fahrenheit) |
| -65 Hawaiians
declare a two-blanket night |
| -60 Californians
put on sweaters (if they can find one) |
| -50 Miami residents turn
on the heat |
| -45 Vermont
residents go to outdoor concerts |
-40 You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming |
| -35 Italian
cars don’t start |
| -32 Water freezes |
| -30 You
plan your vacation to Australia |
-25 Ohio water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming |
-20 Politicians
begin to talk about the homeless
New Your City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further
South |
-15 French cars don’t start
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you |
| -10 You
need jumper cables to get the car going |
| -5 American Cars don’t start |
| -0 Alaskans
put on T-shirts |
--10 German cars don’t start
Eyes freeze shut when you blink |
--15 You
can cut your breath and use it to build
an igloo
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist |
--20 Cat insists on sleeping
in pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about
the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don’t start |
--25 Too
cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going |
--30 You plan a two week
hot bath
Swedish cars don’t start |
--40 Californians
disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
You car helps you plan your trip South |
--50 Congress hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window |
--80 Hell
freezes over
Polar bears move South
Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game |
| --90 Lawyers put their hands
in their own pockets |