4th RUNNER-UP (Subject: Probability Theory)

 If an infinite number of hunters riding in an infinite number of
 pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an
 infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the
 world's great literary works in Braille.

 3rd RUNNER-UP (Subject: Bio-Mechanics)

 Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your
 eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other
 people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out.

 2nd RUNNER-UP (Subject: Symbolic Logic)

 Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have
 no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate
 technical ideas at a faster rate.

 1st RUNNER-UP (Subject: Newtonian Mechanics)

 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as
 a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought
 in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to
 spin dangerously fast.

 HONORABLE MENTION (Subject: Linguistics)

 The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If
 omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian
 "pahks his cah," the lost R's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to
 "warsh" his car and invest in "erl" wells.

 GRAND PRIZE WINNER (Subject: Perpetual Motion)

 When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast
 is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. It was proposed to
 strap giant slabs of hot buttered toast to the back of a hundred
 tethered cats; the two opposing forces will cause the cats to hover,
 spinning inches above the ground. Using the giant buttered toast/cat
array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.