Sleep

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Sleep: Other Parents' Thoughts

Three and a half year old Little Girl

NEW!!

We have a 3.5 year old daughter, who is our ray of sunshine. As an infant she never took to naps too often, but always slept good at night. So at night she does sleep between my husband and I. I think it's more of a security for us than it is for her. My husband and I always worry about a fire in the home, tornado, or anything beyond our control, and if she is in the same room we can save her faster. Everyone is telling us not to do this. But I see she is taking steps to sleep on her own. Once in a while she sleeps in her own room, I notice it being a little bit longer every time. She is doing it on her own, and we are not forcing her either way. Besides we love being as close to her as possible, for as long as we can, and she doesn't seem to mind it. Before bed we have bath time, story time and recently game time. Then a cup of milk and we are off into dream land. With both parents working this is by far the best time of the day.

Zachary (14 months)

My son, Zachary, is 14 months old. He has never been one much for sleep. He takes a nap every day, but I never know when (it may start anywhere from 10:30am to 3:30pm). He only sleeps 1/2 to 1-1/2 hours. He always nurses to sleep.

I've gone through cycles at bedtimes. For a while he was difficult to put to sleep. Then he would nurse and promptly fall asleep. Now he's back to fighting sleep. I nurse him laying on the couch and when he is done nursing (and still not sleeping), I just keep encouraging him to lay done until he finally gives in. Sometimes it takes an hour.

sent in by Cathy

Jazmine's Bedtime (25 months)

Hello My name is Kathy O. Here is how I put my daughter Jazmine 25 months to sleep. I let Jazmine stay up as late as she wants cause I don't see the point in fighting her to go to sleep when she is not tired enough to go to sleep. But here is what I do to help her get that way. The morning wake up has everything to do with what she does all day as far as nap. This morning she woke up at 8:30 and asked to nurse to sleep at about 12:30pm then Tonight she will probably be in bed no later than ten PM probably sooner. I look at when she woke up and when she is getting sleep and I can read that. I put in a favorite movie and put out a snack and juice. Let her watch it until she asks to nurse and then nurse and rock her to sleep. Some times we do this two to three times but if I keep her up long enough she will go to sleep on the first try. I have rocked her to sleep ever since she was a newborn. I think that it helps her relax and get settled. She sleeps in bed with us and we love having her there and plan on letting her self wean from the breast and the family bed.

sent in by Kathy O.

Miranda's Bedtime (22 months)

Miranda, 22 months, lets me know where she wants to have her "mama" to help her go to sleep at night. Sometimes it's in my lap and sometimes it's on OUR bed.

sent in by Mary Ann

Sleep: What Works for Our Family

We have 3 kids, ages 10, 2, and 2 months. Our 2-year-old had been sleeping in his own "big boy bed" until our youngest was born and we brought her into our bed with us at night. He too wanted to be a part of that, so my husband and I slept in the middle, our newborn by my side (we protected my side of the bed with a guardrail) and the 2-year-old on my husband's side. (Luckily we have a king-sized bed!) My oldest, even at the sophisticated age of 10, didn't want to be left out, so we allowed her to make a pallet on the floor at the foot of our bed! We all slept like this for about 3 weeks, and we loved the closeness.

However, at about 3 weeks, the baby started waking up and crying in the middle of the night and would wake the 2-year-old up, and then he would cry and have a hard time going back to sleep. So that he wouldn't be awakened by the baby and still feel secure, we had him start sleeping with our 10-year-old in her own double bed. After a few nights, he announced that he wanted to sleep in his own bed again and of course we let him.

I'm so glad we did what came natural to us and didn't succumb to the advice of "experts." I can't figure out why so many people think babies and toddlers *need* to sleep by themselves. Everything worked out beautifully for us and I had the confidence that my son was feeling secure and loved through the transition of bringing a new baby into the family. We still have our baby sleeping with us, and I couldn't imagine it any other way. She prefers to be held and touched while she's sleeping, and I could never let her "cry it out" as that goes against my heart.

sent in by Tanya

Nighttime with an Eleven Month Old

We don't have a strict schedule at all. Whenever he gets tired it is pretty obvious. Most nights he will nurse to sleep, but occasionally I'll wear him down in the sling. More and more often (but still only occasionally) my husband will lay down with him and pat his back.

We do the family bed all night (we even took down his crib at 9 months). It is great! I'm one of those parents who never thought I'd go for the family bed but hey, it works! Especially on days that I have to work, I really enjoy the nighttime cuddles. I wouldn't trade the family bed for anything.

sent in by Ashley

Alli's Bedtime Routine (Alli is 29 months)

Around 7pm, we run a warm bath. I let her play in there for a good 20-30 minutes. This zaps all that unused energy! The warm water relaxes her. Then it's potty, jammies and pullup. We go down stairs and maybe watch a show. She lays on a sheep skin rug in front of the fire (winter only). If she hasn't already fallen asleep we then go back upstairs at 8pm, and Alli is asked to go get 2 books. She returns with 4 (every night). We climb into her double bed and read the books. She tries to get me to ready more stories, I hug her and laugh and tell her it's time for prayers. After "blessing" everyone she has ever come into contact with, she rolls over and instantly falls asleep. I then go to sleep in my own bed. She usually wakes up around 1 or 2 am and climbs in between Mommy and Daddy. She doesn't say a word and is Snoring Loudly immediately!

Sent in by Kim

Jorden's Bedtime (the family bed; age four)

Jorden has always slept with me, but things changed for awhile after I moved in with Terry. (I know now what a sin it was; I wasn't saved then. He wanted to marry me, but I was "never going to get married again in my life," so shacked up with him first.) When we moved in, Terry felt that "the boy is old enough to sleep alone."

Well, I set up Jorden's room saying "you're a big boy now" and trying to make it happy as can be. I would read and lay down with him till he fell asleep, then get up and go to bed. When Jorden would get up in the middle of the night I would get up and take him to the potty (this did work out to be a good thing, he was potty trained before he turned two), then we would go back to his room and go to sleep. After about two months of this, Terry got tired of waking up without me there and decided he would rather have his new family there, than not to have me at all, so we adapted Jorden's junior bed to be level with ours and there he has been.

Now that he is four, Terry and I are married (Aug 10th 1996) and thank the Lord Terry and I are saved (me end of '96 and Terry mid '97) and we have become a very happy Christian family, Terry feels we should start to have Jorden sleep in his own room. The only problem is our bed is too small for all of us, and we got rid of the big bed in Jorden's room last year when ants got in the house and chose that bed for their new home. So, I don't want to rip Jorden out of the bed and say, "Now that you're four, stay in your own room." I couldn't handle that. Last Valentine's Day we let him stay the night at Grandma's, and I could barely sleep without him in the bed next to me. Anyway, and more important, I wouldn't want Jorden to think I'm abandoning him. So we have a big plan.

Next month, bills and paychecks permitting, we are going to get a twin bed to put up against our bed and move the junior bed to Jorden's room. This will give us enough room for Jorden, the new baby, Terry (my husband is a very large man), and I to sleep when Jorden wakes up in the middle of the night to come sleep with us. The only problem is this... My luck. I plan to gradually let Jorden move to his own bed, well, I planned to gradually wean him from the breast, too. When he was 17 months old, I had always heard how hard it is to wean a baby, and even harder for a toddler, so I decided to start the "don't offer don't refuse" method early thinking that by two he would be down to one feeding, right? Wrong!!! The whole process took about three weeks, and before I knew it he wasn't feeding at all!!! After that I tried to offer it and he wasn't interested. So I hope that leaving the bed will take longer.

Sent in by Beth H.

Katia's Bedtime and Naptime Routine (29 Months Old)

Katia is now 29 months old. This is the routine we have used for many months which helps her settle down for a nap or the night. If I try to rush and leave things out, then she fusses a lot more and won't go to sleep.

1. Diaper and jammies
2. Katia picks out a book
3. We read the book together
4. She gets hugs and kisses from whomever is there at the time
5. She gets into bed
6. I turn on her tape player, the mobile and musical dog (sounds awful to me all at once, but after a minute or so it's just the tape)
7. Sometimes she asks to be wrapped up in her blanket
8. I give her final hugs and kisses (sometimes this gets dragged out as she wants slow hug, big hug, fast hug, etc. etc.--very silly girl)
9. If it's dark, turn on the night light
10. Walk out and close the door

Same routine applies for the 4 year old I watch who stays overnight. Works good for her too.

Sent in by Carol

Nights With 22 Month Old Cody

Cody just turned 22 months and still does not sleep through the night. The routine as it stands now is:

1) Bath (which he loves), jammies
2) Play with sister
3) Sister (age 9) goes to bed at 8:30
4) Play with dad
5) Dad goes to bed around 9 or 10
6) Tuck daddy in bed
7) Climb in rocking chair with mommy (we read a little, or for as long as Cody will let us read).
8) Cody is usually sleeping within 5 - 30 minutes after everyone is in bed.

Cody wakes up usually within the 1st hour of sleeping. And some nights will wake up 2 - 5 more times. We have tried letting him cry it out. We have tried letting him sleep in a big bed. We have tried letting him sleep with us. We have tried warm milk. We've decided that he just has so much fun all day and evening, that he does not want to miss out on anything. Anyway the routine has turned into a habit for me as well, and on those rare occassions when Cody only wakes up once and goes right back to sleep (5 - 15 minutes), I will usually wake up and check on him and have a hard time going back to sleep myself. A part of me can't wait for an entire night of sleep, but the other part of me already misses getting up and seeing his adorable little face.

sent in by Cody's Mama

Our daughter's bedtime routine has been through a lot of adjustments in the past 21 months, but the theme tends to be:

1. Bath time every other night.
2. Diaper and jammies. (She likes to help zipping up.)
3. Hugs and kisses for Daddy.
4. She picks out a story (or two) and we read them in her rocking chair. Sometimes we talk about the story, or she names the pictures that she knows from the book. (Her version of "I read it, mommy.")
5. Nite-nite prayers. We use the standard "Now I lay me down to sleep..." followed by "God bless..." I let her name whoever she'd like to ask God to bless.
6. We turn out the light and I sing a song of her choosing, and rock for a few minutes.
7. Big "I love you THIS MUCH."
8. Lay her in her bed and stay with her a few minutes stroking her hair or back.
9. Leave her room. I don't shut the door and she can get out of her bed, so sometimes she'll be back in the living room a few minutes later. If this happens, I take her back to her bed, tuck her in, maybe sing another song for her. I've found lately that if I let her stay up until about 8:30, she'll go to sleep on the first try. if I start earlier, I'll end up walking back and forth trying to keep her in her bed.

Hope this helps other parents struggling with toddler sleep habits.

Sent in by Beth

I’d love to hear what works for you and your family? Do you have a strict or flexible schedule that you follow? Or do you just let your child fall asleep wherever they are and then carry them to bed? Do you have them in the family bed the whole night? Or perhaps your toddler sleeps with an older sibling? Please share! Your input will help other parents! (and me!)

I have put together a page on the family bed that you might like to check out. It is part of my "Caring for an Infant" page because I think it's super for baby to start out sleeping with his parents! I feel it's even more wonderful if the child is allowed to "wean" from the family bed at his own pace as he grows into independence.

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