Welcome to Ladycraft's Diary

Welcome to

Ladycraft's Diary

It was Aug 1994 when I found I had lost all faith. My mom died of Breast Cancer at 59. I had quit college, moved from my home, seperated my children, by sending them to their dad's (one to NewYork, & the other to Oregon), and split up with my third husband.
    What was wrong with me....I loved with all that I had and yet I couldn't find anyone to love me honestly. I gave it all up to care for my mother, not because I had to, but because I wanted to, had to, for me!
     She had suffered in pain alone, not telling anyone for 1 1/2yrs without medical treatment or medicine for the pain. She died Aug 8, 1994.
     The sad thing is what she left behind. She had allowed the cancer to eat her away so horribly, the doctors couldn't even tell us what type of cancer it was. I had always, my whole entire life, from 10 on....been the blacksheep, the bad seed.
     No one ever let me forget it either. So, when my mother's funeral passed, about one month went by when my stepfather took my car away (the one my mother had given me a year before and the only means I had to get to work and support my family), I had only requested one thing of my mothers - the 14K charms I had bought her from her only grandkids - 3 yrs later I still didn't recieve them. My family had written me off with the exception of my real dad, his family(my half brother's and sister), my stepmom and my brother Ray.
        In Feb, 1996 at two o'clock in the morning, I woke up to my head splitting like someone hit me with a hatchet. I dialed 911 and was rushed to the emergency room at Paradise Valley Hosp. From there I was transferred to St. Joseph's Hosp. Barrow'sNeurological. I had a brain aneurism which had begun to rupture.
        I was so lucky - I got Dr. Spetzler!
Everything happened so fast. When I came to I was petrified! There stood my stepdad who hadn't spoke to me in 1 1/2 yrs. I truly thought I was going to die. I spent several days in the ICU unit, and don't remember a whole lot. I do remember the pain, and the removal of the staples which went from the top of my left ear to the center of my head. Then I remember the dreadful moment when Dr. Spetzler said: They had found a twin aneurism on the opposite side of my head, so, I had to go home and recover for six weeks and then return to have the other aneurism removed. I was told that I was truly blessed after recovering so well from the first surgery. But, I was really scared preparing for the second. As time went by, it was time to return to the hospital. The second surgery was over and I had again recovered with flying colors. I didn't have the memory I used to have, and they told me to be very cautious if I drove.I went back to work and one week later I had a seizure and totalled the car I had bought a month before. Finances were
atrotious....I felt I was a failure at everything - being a parent, I was alone and trying to figure out how to survive when I was told by my best friend, Marie - HOLD ON TO YOUR FAITH!!! READ FOOTPRINTS EVERY DAY!!!
        Well, I took her advice...I felt a solemn peace within my heart. Then, I received money from people I hardly knew, I became reacquainted with a guy I had worked with two years prior and he
really changed my life and beliefs.
       Things had finally turned around and I was almost caught up on bills. In March 1997, I became Mrs. Stan Prue and I couldn't have been blessed any better. Sure we have our disagreements - but the grandest thing of all is he truly, honestly
loves me and makes sure we make up.
            In October 1997, I went in for a pap and the results came back irregular. I went to a specialist who scheduled me for a biopsy in outpatient surgery. Results came back- Cancer! On Nov 13, 1997, I had a radical hysterectomy, and thought that would be the end. But, they didn't get it all. The cancer has penetrated deep into tissues which were not removed with the surgery. Also, they found a spot behind my fifth rib. So,here I go again... Jan 5 - mammo, Jan 8 - Pulmonary Specialist then, radiation for 15 min. per day for 6-8 weeks. Now, I know my real dad has cancer and probably won't make it to see his grandchildren grow up.
         How much can one person take? ---- With true faith in God, as much as he gives!!!!
             An update as of February 7,1998 - The spot behind my fifth rib is only an old scar from when I was exposed to TB. My mamm.. is a different story. Two lumps were found in my left breast. I had an ultrasound done and there is one lump that is solid ,so I have a biopsy scheduled for Feb.11, 1998. I will keep you updated to the results. I had my I had my biopsies, but they couldn't get to one area so I have to have an open biopsy on March 9, 1998.
        Ok, I am back ! I had my open biopsy Monday, March 10 and now am waiting for results will update again on Monday after I go to the doctor.
            Great news ! The mass they removed from my left breast had all the cancer tissues, so I am done with treatment on my breast. Just have to go back for another mamm in three months. Now, I have to go to the doctor on Friday to be tattooed to start radiation on the other cancer. Will keep you updated as things change.
        Well, I am in radiation treatment now until the second week of May. I get very tired, but will try to keep up to date for all of you! OK - I am still doing fine, a few minor complications but doing fine! Will update in two more weeks!
          HURRAY!!!! I am finally done with my treatment. Everything looks A-OK, have to go back in 6 weeks for a follow-up but it looks like it is all gone!!!! Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. Will continue to update as needed.
         The most important thing to know is I have not lost faith, I laugh and smile everyday and hope that my updates give hope to those who are close to wits end!
        Please e-mail me if you need resources for any kind of help or just need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. Most of all - always remember there is always someone walking by your side,
holding your hand.