FAMOUS DOG QUOTES
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." -- Unknown
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -- Andrew A. Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." -- Unknown
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene Hill
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson
DOGGY DICTIONARY
BATH: This is a process by which humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
BUMP: The best way to get your human’s attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL: Is what you do when your person has food and you don’t. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet, on their laps.
GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn’t get the attention you require…especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.
LEAN: A very good response to the command "Sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
LEASH: A strap which attached to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you’re lucky, a human will love you in return.
SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog’s rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.
SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.
THINGS WE CAN LEARN FROM A DOG ...
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
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