Thoughts from The Redneck

They say opinions are like noses (OK,OK, but this is a family site, remember?), everybody has one. Here's mine, from a decidedly Redneck Point of View . . .

Updated 3/29/98

The topic today is Pollution. I think it's about time we got some facts out!

First of all, I'm getting tired of all this talk about global warming. These so-called scientists don't have a clue! They say if we put too many CFC's or Carbon dioxide in the air, we'll destroy the ozone layer. Well, they might be right about CFC's but carbon dioxide? They ain't got their heads screwed on straight, and here's why:

Carbon dioxide is what makes plants grow. The more carbon dioxide you have, the faster the plants grow. The hotter it is, the faster the plants grow. Now what do you suppose will happen if the planet gets a little too much carbon dioxide? The plants start growing faster and change it back into oxygen (Of course, some idiot scientist will probably "prove" that oxygen causes cancer)! What do you think will happen if the planet gets warmer? The plants will start growing faster, removing the carbon dioxide and letting it cool back down. That don't sound like a catastrophe to me!

Now for all the CFC's. You know, I used to charge the A/C in my vehicle myself. I even went and bought all the right tools. Now, you can't do that anymore, cause it's illegal. So what do the repair shops do? THEY RAISE THEIR PRICES! Now, I'm not too sore at them, I'm sore at the idiots that decided I can't put a little freon in my A/C myself! They're the culprits in this; heck, if I had a chance to make a few extra bucks, I'd take it too!

What I want to know is, why can't the government use some of these taxes that are going to pay for some kook to study why men are attracted to women (duh!) and clean up the air themselves! That makes a lot more sense to me than just outlawing a simple repair! Not to mention, they might even get some of those old CFC's that are still floating around!

Now let's talk a sec about acid rain. It's nothing more than plain old sulfuric acid in the rainwater. The planet's trying to clean itself up. But where does the sulfuric acid come from? Well, folks, when you power up that internal combustion engine in the car, you're burning gasoline. Gas is made out of carbon, hydrogen, and a few other elements, including sulphur. That sulphur would normally just vaporize and fall harmlessly to earth (most of it, anyway) except for that catalytic converter sitting under your chassis! You see, that thing has a tendency to trap the sulphur inside it, and the sulphur burns (that's what causes the stench when it stops up), releasing sulphur dioxide. Sulphur dioxide floats around in the atmosphere until it comes in contact with water (who'd ever think of water being in the atmosphere?) and sunlight, which turns it into...you guessed it! SULPHURIC ACID!

Bet y'all never knew the government was forcing us to produce acid rain, did you?

Now they do all that to get rid of the carbon monoxide. Guess what folks? Carbon monoxide ain't poison! It can suffocate you if you breathe too much of it, that's all. And the carbon monoxide will break down into carbon dioxide in just a little while! So instead of having to use common sense and not stick your nose up the exhaust pipe, we get to deal with acid rain. Not a smart trade-off if you ask me.

Oh, yeah, just in case you're thinking about getting rid of that catalytic converter, they made it illegal - probably had something to do with the acid rain lobby...

And the EPA - now there's a bunch of retarded idiots if I ever saw any! I heard about a farmer in the mid-west who ran over a rodent (sorta like a rat) with his tractor. The EPA found out and took his tractor, his farm, fined the fire out of him and put him in jail! Now I realize that that guy probably saw that rat and cranked up his tractor just to run it down (and if y'all believe that, I've got some oceanfront land in Arkansas y'all need to have a look at!) but ain't this just a little bit excessive? Seems that the EPA actually owns the land, they just let us use it as long as we don't disturb their furry little friends!

I say we abolish the EPA, get rid of the catalytic converters, tell these "global-warming" idiots to take a hike, and start handling this pollution problem with a little common sense! Like working with the planet instead of against it. And who in the name of Jehosophat came up with this "Save the Planet" nonsense. We don't even know how it works! We can't help ourselves, and we're going to save the planet? I got news for y'all - the planet's doing just fine. We're the ones in trouble if we don't get started fixing the pollution problems, and it don't do no good to stamp out cigarettes in the shadow of a coke plant (and no, wise guy, I ain't talking about cocaine!)!

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