You know you are getting older:
When you are cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
When you realize you have to be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home.
When you realize that the longer you live, the less future there is to worry about.
When experience has taught you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
When you're old enough to know better, you're too old to do it.
When you have everything you had 20 years ago, only it's all a little bit lower.
When you take care of your knees because you know you will miss them when they're gone.
When you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.
When tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
When your diet is: if it tastes good, spit it out.
When there is no more peer pressure.
When you read the obits every day to see if you are there.
When you keep meeting new people and going new going new places and you haven't left the house.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way thru Congress. Write your congressman !!!
When you're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
When your back goes out more than you do.
When you quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
When you buy a compass for the dash of your car.
When you are proud of your lawn mower.
When you call Olan Mills before they call you.
When your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
When you sing along with the elevator music.
When you constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
When you enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
When you consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
When you make an appointment to see the dentist.
When you no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
When your neighbors borrow your tools.
When people call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
When you answer a question with, "because I said so!"
When you send money to PBS.
When you wear black socks with sandals.
When you know what the word "equity" means.
When you can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
When you get into a heated argument about pension plans.
When you got cable for the weather channel. "Old Folks MTV!!!"
When you have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
