Too Long in Law Enforcement

WARNING!

Some of the statements made may be considered offensive and are unsuitable for children!

YOU MIGHT BE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT TOO LONG IF:


* You have the bladder capacity of five people.

* You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

* You believe at least 50% of people are a waste of skin.

* Your idea of a good time is an armed robbery at shift change.

* You call for a criminal history check on anyone who seems perfectly normal.

* Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal.

* You find humor in other people's stupidity.

* You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

* Your idea of comforting a child is placing him in a papoose restraint.

* You believe that "Shallow Gene Pool" is sufficient grounds for arrest.

* You believe the government should require extensive testing and permits prior to reproduction.

* You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is quiet around here".

* Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a computer can track.

* You believe chocolate is a food group.

* You have contemplated a seminar titled "Suicide-Getting it right the first time".

* You believe that "Too stupid to live" is a valid verdict.

* You have to put the phone down before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

* You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

* Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.

* When you mention vegetables, you are not referring to a food group.

* It occurs to you one night that you have really entered the "Twilight Zone".

* You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.

* You are told to deliver a packaged human body part and you find yourself talking to it on the way to the lab.

* You believe it's not a good death unless it involves overtime.

* You are the only person introduced by profession at a social gathering.

* You walk into places and people think it highly comical to seize a co-worker and shout "They've come for you Frank".

*People shout "I didn't do it!" when you walk into the room in uniform and they think they are being hysterically funny and original.

* You believe in involuntary sterilization.

*author unknown*

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