My name is Honey...I love chasing cats and eating treats...
Hope you enjoy what I have on my page..*ruff ruff*
Things I have to remember....
I must not play tug-of-war with my master Augie's underwear when he's on
the toilet.
The garbage collector is Not! stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying
under the coffee table.
I must not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must not squat and dribble on the carpet every time a
stranger tries to pet me.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the
house.
I must not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
I must stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean
carpet in the house when I am about to *lose my cookies*.
I must not *lose my cookies* in the car.
I must not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
I must not lick my human's face after eating animal poop, Or a that dead animal I rolled on a while ago.
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
I must not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the
backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I must not wake my master up by sticking my cold, wet nose and his bottom end.
I must not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
I must not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,
or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I must not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I must not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I must not steal Augie's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither is my master Augie's lap, or a ladies chest chest for that matter.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I must not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for a
driver's license and car registration.
WOOF WOOF!
IF A DOG WERE YOUR TEACHER You would learn stuff like.....
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in
your face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a
shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire
body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into
the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make
friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have
had enough.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit
close by and nuzzle them gently.
The Town Of Don't-You-Worry
There's a town called Don't-You-Worry, on the banks of River Smile;
Where the Cheer-Up and Be-Happy blossom sweetly all the while.
Where the Never-Grumble flower blooms beside the fragrant Try,
And the Ne'er-Give-Up and Patience Point their faces to the sky.
In the valley of Contentment, in the province of I-Will,
You will find this lovely city, at the foot of No-Fret Hill.
There are thoroughfares delightful in this very charming town,
And on every hand are shade trees named the Very-Seldom-Frown.
Rustic benches quite enticing you'll find scattered here and there;
And to each a vine is clinging called the Frequent-Earnest~Prayer.
Everybody there is happy and is singing all the while,
In the town of Don't-You-Worry, on the banks of River Smile.
I.J. Bartlett
AMERICAN SOCIETY FOR PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO ANIMALS
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