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Empirical Laws of Nature

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Some empirical law's of nature. More will be added as they come in. Enjoy them....

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Empirical Laws of Nature

  • If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
         Lowery's Law

  • There's always one more bug.
         Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology

  • If a computer cable has one end, then it has another.
         Lyall's Conjecture

  • The most important leg of a three legged stool is the one that's missing.
         Lyall's Fundamental Observation

  • If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
         Maier's Law

  • For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
         Main's Law

  • Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
         Manley's Maxim

  • The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
          McGregor's Revised Maxim

  • In a social situation, the most difficult thing to do is usually the right thing to do.
          Meyers Law

  • If at first you don't succeed read the manual
          Montgomery's Maxim

  • If anything can go wrong, it will.
          Murphy's Law

  • If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.
          Murphy's Original Law

  • Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
          Murphy's First Corollary

  • It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
          Murphy's Second Corollary

  • Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
          Murphy's Constant

  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
          Murphy's First Military Law

  • Friendly fire isn't.
          Murphy's Second Military Law

  • The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
          Murphy's Third Military Law

  • Incoming fire has the right of way.
         Murphy's Fourth Military Law

  • The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.
         Murphy's Fifth Military Law

  • If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
         Murphy's Sixth Military Law

  • Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
         Murphy's Seventh Military Law

  • If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
         Murphy's Eighth Military Law

  • The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
         Murphy's Ninth Military Law

  • Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'.
         Murphy's Tenth Military Law

  • If you need four screws for the job, the first three are easy to find.
         The N-1 Law

  • Negative expectations yield negative results.
  • Positive expectations yield negative results.
         Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations

  • If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.
         O'Brian's Law

  • Variables won't, constants aren't.
         Osborn's Law

  • Murphy was an optimist.
         O'Toole's Commentary

  • You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
          Perversity of Nature Law

  • If you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all of the dark leaks out.
         The Third Law of Photography

  • Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere will not hate it.
         Pohl's Law

  • Everything costs more and takes longer.
         Pournelle's Law of Costs and Schedules

  • Everything goes wrong all at once.
          Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law

  • When travelling down the freeway, the first bug to hit a clean windshield will always land directly in front of the driver's face.
          Quigley's Law of Highway Driving

  • The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are in the wrong line.
          The Queue Principal

  • It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences. If you have none, someone will make one for you.
         The Fourth Law of Revision

  • The most delicate component will be dropped.
          Rosenfield's Regret

  • When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
         Rule of Accuracy

  • If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you have tried.
          Rule of Failure

  • If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
         Rule of Reason

  • It works better if you plug it in.
          Sattinger's Law

  • A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
          Segal's Law

  • An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
          Selective Gravity Law

  • Celibacy is not hereditary.
          First Law of Socio-Genetics

  • Technology don't transfer.
          Stenton's Law

  • An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
         Van Roy's Law

  • Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
         Weinberg's First Law

  • If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
         Weinberg's Second Law

  • There are no answers, only cross references.
         Weiner's Law of Libraries

  • A few months in the laboratory can save a few hours in the library.
         Westheimer's Law

  • Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
          Wethern's Law

  • Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
          Wiker's Law

  • No experiment is reproducible.
          Wyszowski's Law

  • Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
          Wyszkowski's Second Law

  • Nobody notices when things go right.
         Zimmerman's Law of Complaints

  • People are always available for work in the past tense.
          Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labour

  • Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.
         Zymurgy's First Law of Systems Dynamics

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