_EPILOGUE

Well here is the final chapter of my story...I hope there has been something in it to be of some help .It has not been an easy story to tell but, it needed to be told. I have used the phoenix at the top of my page as it truly represents my life...beauty out of ashes.

I have managed to come out of the flames and do something of use to my fellow man. I married my soul-mate ,have a gorgeous daughter, no more nightmares ,am no longer afraid of the dark ,but most of all I have found my purpose in life, my mission if you will.

My best friend and I and my husband started a ministry called "Thru The Cracks"..we go every Sunday to our local park..and feed and clothe the homeless..and minister in any way we can...our motto is ..."Catching in the net of God's Love...those who have fallen through the cracks."

We try to accept people with unconditional love...just as they are...no judgement...and help in any way we can..we are up to about 75 to 100 people a week now that we feed and clothe.

We hope to find the resources to give out sleeping bags this winter or at least blankets. It was a pretty mild winter last year ,so that was a blessing for the people.

We are there every Sunday..come rain or come shine..cold or heat...we have been doing this since last August...and will continue as long as there are people in need.We take the food to the people..we have gotten a little caravan now...to carry all the food and clothes...we feed them right in the park..set up tables...and feed right there..nothing fancy...but good healthy..balanced food...we believe we should give the best we can...and so far we have been blessed with the best.

In the winter I make the most dynamite vegetable soup..so rich and thick..it'll make ya think you've died and gone to heaven..(giggle)

And we serve dynamite fresh bread..just like homemade..from a place that grinds it's own flour and only uses the finest healthiest ingredients.

We also get fresh gorgeous produce that goes to the top restauraunts here..not second hand..though we would be happy with whatever were provided. We are just truly blessed by some "guardian angels" to get really great stuff.

And right now it is Summer..so we try to keep the guys cool with Homemade potato salad(and it is good..honey),or a garden salad with homemade Thousand Island Dressing that was passed down in my family...we Southern Gals know how to cook.

We try to really spoil the people there...and welcome anyone who comes up to our tables..you the funny thing to me is that the whole park is surrounded by churches...but their doors always seem closed...we see people come park to go to church..and just look at us like we have a disease or something...it truly amazes me. I come home so energized by the love shown to us there...it is amazing how good the guys are to us...

It isn't easy for me to get around to do this work..as I have a lot of health problems..and have been told I am permanantly disabled...I have to walk with a cane...I have diabetic neuropathy..high blood pressure...diabetes...had a stroke...and overcame congestive heart failure..and am going blind from diabetic retinapathy...I tell you this..not for you to pity me ...but to show you that when you have truly found your mission in life nothing can hold you back...doors open...the strength just seems to be there when you need it...I just think God is so amazing and awsome in His love...that in spite of all the things that should hold me back..He has given me the heart of a ~*~StarDancer~*~...I give Him all credit for taking my life...that was horrendous...a living nightmare...and turned it into something joyful and happy...and filled my heart with so much love...it spills over..this is heaven's treasure...and you can take it with you..and you can multiply it...by giving it away...the more you give away...the more you receive...and it is an energy you can almost see...it makes your heart leap..like a gazelle...your spirit soar...so much so it can be excruciatingly joyful..that you think your heart will burst from the energy.

I feel like God has shown me some great secret of the universe...given me some awsome gift...me ...who used to spit on him...do some awful things...but when I turned my heart towards Him...for a second..He met me there..and gave me my life back..wrapped His huge white wings around me...someone whose parents didn't even want her...someone who's own mother wanted to kill her...it just blows my mind...when I am at the park...and I see these guys smiling and laughing...and eating good nourishing food...with clean clothes on their backs...and a warm soft blanket to sleep on..and to know I had a part in this after all the awful things I have done out of anger...that I was given such an awsome responsibility as to minister to someone's spirit..to try to heal them in whatever way I can...

I guess what I am trying to say is I am no one special...my life was a mess...but if you just step out and do one kindness for your fellow man...there is healing in that...and we are all children in our hearts...you would be amazed at what one hug can do...and you don't have to go out of your way..just in your circle of existance..the people you see day to day...at a store...if someone is having a hard day...instead of getting angry at them ...give them a word of encouragement..just acknowledge that they are having a tough time..tell them it'll get better...tell them maybe you have days like that too.

It really is so easy..our mission here on earth is to grow in our spirit...and love our fellow man...and love our Creator...just take baby steps...don't feel you have to save the world...just show kindness to those around you...if you have a talent..use that in some way..if you need help in figuring it out...just write me...I am really great at helping people find their place...what their gifts are...and we all have gifts...we are all needed...we each are a piece of the puzzle...that when all connected..is meant to be the most beautiful tapestry imaginable...and each one is important...

I think that God created us with free will..and set us free...on the world in hopes that one day we would fly back into His arms and Love Him...He needs us...and He created all of us with a hole in our hearts...that will only be complete when we come back to Him...we spend so much time running around trying this and trying that to make ourselves feel good...we can't buy it...we can't steal it...and we can't cheat for it...only when you give yourself away do you begin to understand some of the secrets of this life...and the real happiness that is heaven's treasure...more beautiful than any diamond...more precious than the finest gold...it is Love...selfless Love...given away...unconditionally..not expecting a return...or expecting a reward for for it.

Try it out for yourself...you'll see what I mean...not everyone will say Thank you for whatever kindness you may show...and some people are unloveable..some are downright cantankerous...but don't give up...it works...Love your enemies..it'll drive them crazy...and finally they may come to you and want what you have..the peace that comes from loving so freely.

I am not talking about mushy gooshy love...sometimes it can be downright hard work..to the point you want to give up...but push beyond that point if you get there...and it is like flying on eagles wings...once you get over themountain...the peace you will find...is unsurpassible...

Well...I guess I have come to the end of my story..I hope in some small way I have shared something worth while and not just ranted...I in no way mean to push my beliefs on anyone ...I am just telling you what happened for me...and the path that I took...and where it lead me...and how I got there...

Oh , I almost forgot...above all have humor and don't take yourself seriously...have fun with life...learn to laugh from your gut...and don't let anyone tell you how you must be...follow your heart...sometimes it means walking up the downstaircase...moving against the tide...but have fun...let the child in you out...watch a child..they love unabashedly...and can be so silly...belive me people think I am crazy...I have a ball...I act silly ..wear silly clothes..I have bizarre taste...and at 45 years of life had my nose pierced...I don't want to be an old poop...my life is just beginning...and I am going to go out giggling!!!

So get out there ...have a blast...and Love peoples socks off...you won't be sorry!!!

Love...Hugs...and Light...

~*~ StarDancer~*~

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page created 6/16/97..page page updated 8/9/97

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