~Professions~
Accountants
Accountants are top dollar !
Accountants work their assets off !
C.P.A. -- Certified Pain in the A** !!!
I'm an accountant...not a magician !
It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
Architects
Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.
Bankers
I used to be a banker....but I lost interest .
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.
Bookkeepers
Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.
Bus Drivers
Anyone can drive a car but it takes someone special to be a school bus driver.
Bus drivers are the driving force to a good education
Bus drivers are the only people whose troubles are all behind them.
Card Players
Old card players never die.....they just shuffle away !
Carpenters
Carpenters are just plane folks.
Cashiers
Old cashiers never die, they just check out.
Chauffeurs
Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.
Chemists
Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.
Chiropractors
If you are not my chiropractor, get off my back!!!
Cleaning People
Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.
Cleaning people don't get rid of the dirt- they just move it somewhere
else.
Crafters
Old crafters never die, they just get more bazaar.
Deans
Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties.
Dentists
The Boss of the Floss
Brush the teeth you wish to keep !
Old dentists never die they just lose their pull.
Divers
Divers do it underwater !!
Doctors
Doctors do it with Patience !
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patients.
Electricians
Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.
Hardware Engineers
Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.
Horticulturists
Old horticulturists never die, they just go to pot.
Investors
Old investors never die, they just roll over.
Journalists
Old journalists never die, they just get de-pressed.
Lawyers
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Mathematicians
Old mathematicians never die, they just disintegrate.
Ministers
Old ministers never die.....they just go out to pastor !
Musicians
Old musicians never die.....they just decompose !
Painters
A painters work is never done.
If I paint fast enough....does it count as aerobic exercise?
~~~
There is a time to be born and a time to die.
A time to laugh and a time to cry,
but there never seems to be enough time to paint.
~~~
Photographers
Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.
Pilots
Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.
Pilots are just "plane" people with a special "air" about them !
Policemen
Old policemen never die, they just cop out.
Politicians
Our politicians are in complete control of things
It's the situation that's out of hand.
Postmen
Old postmen never die....they just lose their zip !
Printers
Old printers never die, they're just no the type.
Programmers
Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.
Psychiatrists
Psychiatrists never die, they just shrink away.
Quarterbacks
Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.
Sailors
Old sailors never die, they just get a little dingy.
Secretaries
Secretaries do it by the book.
This isn't a desk....it's a landfill !!
Sewage Workers
Old sewage workers never die, they just waste away.
School Bus Drivers
School Bus Drivers are big wheels !
Skiers
Skiers do it in the water !!
Steel makers
Old steel makers never die, they just lose their temper.
Tanners
Old tanners never die, they just go into hiding.
Taxidermists
Tell me to stuff it....I'm a taxidermist.
~~~
"What is the difference between a taxidermist
and a tax collector?
The taxidermist takes only your skin".
(Mark Twain)
~~~
Wallpaperhangers
Paperhangers
always get it up!
~~~
Weatherman
Climate is what you expect...weather is what you get.. !!
E-mail me if you have other sayings to add to this page.
updated 4/17/09
Every effort has been made to give credit to the authors of the material used on this site.
Please let me know if an error has been made, and I will gladly make the necessary changes asap. ~Deanie~