~Women~
A beautiful woman is a paradise to the eyes
and a curse to the purse.
~~~
A career woman has to look like a LADY,
act like MAN
and work like a DOG !!
~~~
A man of quality is never threatened by a woman of equality.
~~~
A woman and her truck -- a beautiful thing !
~~~
A woman always has the last word
in an argument.
Anything a man says after it
is the beginning of a new argument.
~~~
A woman is like a campfire.
If you don't tend it often
you will soon loose it.
~~~
A woman is like a teabag...
You never know how strong she is
until you dip her in hot water.
~~~
A woman who seeks to be equal to men lacks ambition.
A woman's best accessory is a well dressed man.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's....she changes it more often !!
~~~
A woman only needs four animals in her life:
a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, a mink on her back,
and a jackass to pay for it all !
~~~
A woman's place is in control.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
~~~
After God made man...he said
"I can do better that that !".
~~~
Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust.
If it weren't from women...
Men's things would rust !
~~~
Can you imagine a world without men?
No crime and lots of happy fat women.
~~~
Few women admit their age;
fewer men act it.
~~~
For every woman who makes a fool out of some man;
there's another who makes a man out of a fool.
~~~
Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
~~~
He's my comfort, my inspiration, my love.
But I am the captain of my soul.
~~~
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
I don't have hot flashes....I have power surges !!
~~~
I'd like to be the girl
who used to be me.
(quote from the movie "Shirley Valentine")
~~~
I have PMS and ESP....
that makes me a b****...
who knows it all...!!
~~~
If a man is alone is the woods and speaks,
and there is no woman to hear him,
is he still wrong?
~~~
If it came out of a woman...you'd better believe it...!!
~~~
If men are God's gift to women....
God must really like gag gifts !!
~~~
If sweetness fails and tears don't work....NAG !!
If the shoe fits, buy it in every color !!
If woman's work is never done...why start?
~~~
If you can't dazzle them with diamonds....
then baffle 'em with bull !
~~~
If you want something said...ask a man;
if you want something done....ask a woman.
~~~
I'm allowed to talk until I'm understood !!
~~~
It is true that God made men before women,
but it also true that he made a rough draft
before a masterpiece.
~~~
It's the good girls who keep the diaries.
The bad girls never have the time.
(Tallulah Bankhead)
~~~
Man has his will...
But, Woman has her way.
~~~
Men are a collective hallucination of women.
It's like when a group of crackpots gets together
on a hilltop and sees flying saucers.
~~~
No man is a match for a woman's tears.
~~~
One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy
can make a woman gain five pounds.
~~~
She who wants a knight in shining armor....
must clean up after the horse.
~~~
Some people say I'm a grumpy, mean, old witch.
That's not true.
I have the heart of a kind and gentle soul....
in a jar on my desk.
~~~
Some women are leaders. You're following one.
(seen on a license plate)
~~~
Some women dream of a night on the town,
of diamonds, of trips around the world.
Me....
I'd settle for a chance at the
remote control every now and again...!!
~~~
Sure God created man before woman
but then you always make a rough draft
before the masterpiece.
~~~
The man who says "it can't be done"....
should not interrupt the woman who is doing it....!!
~~~
The reason God made Woman last
is so he wouldn't have any advice while creating man.
~~~
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman.
Neither one works !!
~~~
Whatever a woman does,
she must do twice as well as a man
to be considered half as good...
Luckily, this is NOT difficult !!
~~~
Whatever women do
they must do twice as well as men
to be thought half as good.
Luckily, this is not difficult.
~~~
Woman, without her, man is nothing.
Women are meant to be loved....not to be understood.
Women....can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em...
Women - can't live with them.....END of sentence !
~~~
Women drivers:
NO SURVIVORS - if you don't like the way we drive....
get off the SIDEWALKS !
~~~
Women should have the right to everything, because they have to do everything !
WOMEN: You should not try to argue with them when they are tired or rested.
~~~
E-mail me if you have other sayings to add to this page.
updated 4/18/09
Every effort has been made to give credit to the authors of the material used on this site.
Please let me know if an error has been made, and I will gladly make the necessary changes asap. ~Deanie~