Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock.

Why do men masturbate?
It's sex with someone they love.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why did God make man before woman?
You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Why is a man's pee yellow and their sperm is white ?
So they can tell if they're coming or going.

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

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