 Journey of Hearts |
Is Life worth living ??
It CAN be !!
I will TRY to watch my wording on this page.
The LAST thing I want to do is "offend" anyone,
BUT
if I can help even ONE person to understand
the PAIN they may be feeling
or to simply see that they are
NOT ALONE
it IS worth the risk of offending the
LUCKY people who may read & say "Boy she is nutz" !!
As with
Who is Ladyhipoo ??
the underlined areas below will eventually
be links to other pages.
I think I first realized that I was different
when I was about 10...
earlier probably
I dont really remember before 10.
Around the age of ten I started thinking about death.
I found myself getting EXTREMELY upset over simple things.
It could be as little as leaving my pencil at school that day,
BUT to me I FELT it was the end of the world...
"I left my pencil at school!! I cant do ANYTHING right !!
Life isnt worth living!! I just wish I was dead !!"
I tried to tell my mom...there was
SOMETHING WRONG with me.
Sometime that year {between 10 & 11} I decide that I
discovered a way to SHOW my mom that there WAS something
WRONG with me !!! I was sitting on the ground behind an
old abandoned house.."crying"..as usual
and I noticed a peice of broken glass on the ground in front on me,
I picked it up & with the trembling weak hands of a ten year old,
I started cutting my wrist. I couldn't push hard enough to really
do any damage.
My mom rarely noticed..and when she did I would lie & she always believed me.
By age 14 I decided I WANTED to
DIE !!!
I tried more times than I can even begin to count....to take my own life !!! I would gathering as many pills as I could find & I tried to "save" them so that I'd have enough to end my life. But I would reach the breaking point & take the pills before I had enough to do any real harm !!
|
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. LET me die before I and I pray dear LORD my soul you'll TAKE !! |
I NOW have a HAPPY life !!
| I WANT TO LIVE !!!! |
I can hear your thoughts...your thinking,
"OK..thats nice..but exactly HOW did you
RECOVER from DEPRESSION??"
I haven't.
Every DAY I wake up with this illness !! I fight it day
by day..it has been about 5 years since I last seriously
considered suicide. BUT I still FEEL
TOO MUCH !!. I break down & cry while listening to a song
on the radio..I have even had to pull my car over to the side of
the road because I got too upset to drive.It is my cross to bear, and
I now accept that. BESIDES there is
an advantage to this {curse}..although I feel PAIN
more deeply than the "normal" person....I also
LOVE more DEEPLY !!!
If you will allow yourself to FEEL the good feelings too..
you'll find that having the {curse} of OVERSENSITIVITY works
both ways !!! I now see a HAPPINESS that I believe only those of us
selected to have this SPECIAL gift can see....
Below are some links to other places where
you can find more information on
Depression
|
Journey of Hearts |
Yellow Ribbon Program
Black Rose
Teddy Bear
Well thats it for now...
Thank you for stopping by,
Ladyhipoo
Back to Who is Ladyhipoo??
A Memorial Page
for my sister
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