A Taco Story

Hahaha! My big scary evil pet demon is away from the computer! I learned HTML from its notebook that it left on the table and I used spell check. Any moron can do it, I don't see why it's for hard for my pet demon. You should have seen me get away the other day! My pets brother snuck into my room and stole me from my cage. After a long, LONG time in those sticky hands, the boy put me back in my cage, but failed to put the top of my terrible holding cell back on correctly. I excaped by climbing up this sort of ladder that the walls of my cell are made out of and pushing the top up the rest of the way. Genius, huh? Anyways, I fell down this 4 foot tall dresser that my cell had been perched on and landed dainily on my back. There is a lot of cool things back there, including some tasty spiders and old easter candy! I quickly left though, because the awful smell of a roach motel drove me out. They don't even have roaches! (too bad, though. I was still hungry then) I wandered out of my pets room and down the hall. There was a ton of clothing and other junk that they have in the hall, so I could easily hide under or behind something if I needed to. Such a messy house! Well, messy compared to my holding cell anyways. I came to a large room with an old couch that I hid under untill a human passed me. Then I waddled....... er.. I mean... strutted into the dining room, where I found some tasty table-scraps from meals past, and seeds spilled from my friend parakeets cage.
I live in a house with many other pet then myself, including some fish (once I had a smaller version of the fish I see now. It is called a 'guppie'. It tasted great alive and slippery, but I only eat their heads. I wouldn't be selfish around my human, now would I?) and 3 parakeets. 1 parakeet is big and fat and has a short tail, my pet calls it a 'love bird' but it is just a lot louder than the rest of the parakeets. Once I had filled my cheekpouches, I headed towards the kitchen where more delicious smells awaited. I was walking, uncovered, in the middle of the kitchen floor when suddenly... WHAP! a huge dart-resembling thing hit my back and bounced off. I jumped and spun around to attack, then spun around to excape but those familiar sticky fingers grabbed my fur. Soon I was dangling by my fur and being carried at lightspeed towards my room. For the first time in my life I was thankful to be put back in that wretched holding cell my human calls a cage! I heard doors slam, and voices screaming but I was already hidden in my nest. Another time I excaped was in a different house and cage. It was a habitrail cage, after my pet human forgot to close the lid. I shoved bedding towards the base of my wheel untill it was plugged up, then I climbed up it. Now, I've heard horror stories of previous hamsters doing this and falling into fish bowls. Checking for fish bowls and finding none, I did a ballet-like dive off the lip of my holding device. This house had a radiator thing that runs the length of the wall near the floor. When it is 'turned on' hot air blows from a pipe that is inside of it, heating the house. But it was not turned on then, so it made a perfect hamster-sized halway for me. I came out of it behind the couch, then dove under the couch. I found a small hole that I enlarged to fit through on the bottom of the couch, then climbed through and explored for a long time. I made a small hole to the hollow arm of the couch and slept in there. But as I was scrabbling around, I made enough sound to attract a human. Stupid me! Soon they were after me with flashlights, rulers, soothing voices, and delicious foods. Luring me with delicious cabbage and sunflower seeds indeed! I was such a fool to go after that trap, but hunger had the best of me and soon I was in those awful human paws being carried back to my cage. I saw through the human fingers that they had ripped the couch apart in pursuit of me. Indeed! These human people wouldn't even let me have a night out! Ahh! here comes my pet human! I'm going to add more later, but this is under construction for now. I'd better go get my pajama's (fur) dry-cleaned. They smell like homo-sapien!

Here are 2 pictures of me: