Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your
chin into a bowl of iron filings.
B Villbens, Birmingham
A Hedgehog trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to
guest makes an unusual mobile cheese and pineapple cube nibble
dispenser at cocktail parties.
L. Traintu, Clarkesville
Make cheap but effective baby rattles by gluing a lollipop stick
to an empty matchbox, then filling it with ten woodlice. Ms G. M. Dowd, Wigan
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
S Goldhanger, Fulchester
Pop a few teabags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot
cuppa anytime by just turning on the tap. Mr A.Fowler, Cape Town, South Africa
Pass off as Welsh by putting coal dust behind your fingernails
and talking gibberish all the time, stopping occasionally to
sing loudly, or set fire to someone else's house. Mr D. Hughes, Lancaster
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes
the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
B. Batten, Dublin
Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the
direction of oncoming traffic.
D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead
When crossing a one-way street always look in BOTH directions
in case a large, blue furniture removal lorry is reversing the wrong
way up the road.
D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead General Infirmary
Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of
lard.
P. Witney, London
Avoid losing contact lenses by drilling a small hole in each
one and attaching them with a length of nylon fishing line. This can
then be worn around the neck.
B. Morgan, Criccieth
Mix tea with coffee, and leave in the fridge to cool. Hey presto! Toffee.
A. Sharp, Birmingham
A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an
ideal coat hanger in an emergency. Nick Jeggo, Adbaston, Staffs.
Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest,
imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to
your intended destination in the first place. Fanny Cyclops, South Norwood
Next time you go drink driving ask a friend or relative to follow
you on a motobike carrying a camera. Then, if you crash, they can
take they blame.
Bastien Phelp, Bath
Deter goldfish from having sex by throwing a small bucket of
air
over any that you catch in the act. Fanny Cyclops, South Norwood
Always fart into the rings on top of your gas cooker. This will
turn back the gas meter, and save you pounds over a period of time.
C. Custer, Little Bighorn
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an
inexpensive vibrator.
Sister S., Berwick, Blackrod
Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic
steroids by running a bit slower. B. Johnson, Canada