I grew up in a military family and after my birth in Frankfurt, Germany I moved 7 times until my family settled in SE Virginia and my Dad retired. My family was Catholic and never missed a Sunday mass or CCD. I was involved in church greatly(teaching etc..) all the way up until college and then I still attended mass regularly. I do remember bots of fear of dying- what if the Buddhists were right and not us...,periods of prayer-when ever I had made a big mistake or was in desperate need. I knew very little scripture! I knew not that the devils believe and tremble. In college various things happened that I can pinpoint as the Lord working- particularly through Christians that I met. I met one young (wild) man the summer of 1985 between my freshman and sophomore year of college. We first saw each other on the highway and it turned out we were going to the same rock concert. (The strange ways that the Lord works through). We dated for the following school year and broke up the day before He went out to sea for a 6 month cruise(Navy) because, (I quote him) " I am not completely happy. Something is missing so it must mean that one thing is that we aren't meant to be together." This was real difficult and threw me into a very rough Junior year of college where I was depressed and involved in various outward sins. The entire time I was in touch with this young man who suddenly around Christmas started flooding his letters with talk of Jesus Christ and how wonderful he was and what He had done for him. This was a joke to me as I always considered myself more “spiritual" than he and figured he was involved in some sort of cult thought. When he returned in March it was obvious that a remarkable change had taken place and that I didn’t even really know him anymore. Instead of rejecting me as an unbeliever he began immediately!!( I mean immediately too) imploring me to come to know this same Christ, to turn from sin and self and be saved as I was headed straight for hell. I knew nothing of his speech at first but the Lord already had His perfect plan for my life and so slowly the Lord revealed things unto my understanding. Yes I was a sinner and no I didn’t know the reality that Christ had died for MY sins on Calvary and wanted me to put my complete faith and trust in Him. I began attending a local Independent Baptist church with him on Wed. and Sunday evening. The Lord was wooing me. Maybe because of all the hardship of the year before, I was tenitive to actually surrender completely wanting to make sure that this was my own and not just a outgrowth of the love I had for this young man. I knew I would be miserable living a lie. So I waited to go back to college, finally trusting all to Christ in September of 1987. Asking Him to save me and come live in my heart and change me. (turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the LORD my God.(Jer. 31:18). Yes, the LORD will turn you from sin-you can't alone! To God be the glory for His infinite grace that He did not throw me behind Him for all the wretchedness that I am. It is only in more recent years that I have realized the importance of not looking at yourself at all(and yes my pastor preached it from the beginning:)) and looking only unto Jesus for His perfect work. If we look to ourselves we will see sin,stumbling and a whole lot of lack of perfection; but if we look to Christ we will see perfection,completeness, mercy and grace. We will see the shed blood that knew no sin and we can understand how someday God will say to us, " Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord."(Mt. 25:21) Needless to say the Lord has transformed my life and more importantly accepted me in His Son whom HE sees standing on my behalf at all times. I now know whom I have believed.. The most wonderful truths are that I don't do it all right-but He already did, I am not faithful - but He is, I don’t even do anything right really- but He has done it all right and died without sin, was resurrected on the third day and now lives in heaven at the right hand of the Father constantly making intercession for me! To Him be all glory forever and ever Amen! (p.s. The young man and I were engaged the following year and following another 6 month cruise were married in 1989. We still attend the same small local assembly and we are very thankful for the godly, Christ-centered pastor that the Lord provided for us right at the beginning!)
In college various things happened that I can pinpoint as the Lord working- particularly through Christians that I met. I met one young (wild) man the summer of 1985 between my freshman and sophomore year of college. We first saw each other on the highway and it turned out we were going to the same rock concert. (The strange ways that the Lord works through). We dated for the following school year and broke up the day before He went out to sea for a 6 month cruise(Navy) because, (I quote him) " I am not completely happy. Something is missing so it must mean that one thing is that we aren't meant to be together." This was real difficult and threw me into a very rough Junior year of college where I was depressed and involved in various outward sins. The entire time I was in touch with this young man who suddenly around Christmas started flooding his letters with talk of Jesus Christ and how wonderful he was and what He had done for him.
This was a joke to me as I always considered myself more “spiritual" than he and figured he was involved in some sort of cult thought. When he returned in March it was obvious that a remarkable change had taken place and that I didn’t even really know him anymore. Instead of rejecting me as an unbeliever he began immediately!!( I mean immediately too) imploring me to come to know this same Christ, to turn from sin and self and be saved as I was headed straight for hell. I knew nothing of his speech at first but the Lord already had His perfect plan for my life and so slowly the Lord revealed things unto my understanding. Yes I was a sinner and no I didn’t know the reality that Christ had died for MY sins on Calvary and wanted me to put my complete faith and trust in Him. I began attending a local Independent Baptist church with him on Wed. and Sunday evening. The Lord was wooing me. Maybe because of all the hardship of the year before, I was tenitive to actually surrender completely wanting to make sure that this was my own and not just a outgrowth of the love I had for this young man. I knew I would be miserable living a lie.
So I waited to go back to college, finally trusting all to Christ in September of 1987. Asking Him to save me and come live in my heart and change me. (turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the LORD my God.(Jer. 31:18). Yes, the LORD will turn you from sin-you can't alone! To God be the glory for His infinite grace that He did not throw me behind Him for all the wretchedness that I am.
It is only in more recent years that I have realized the importance of not looking at yourself at all(and yes my pastor preached it from the beginning:)) and looking only unto Jesus for His perfect work. If we look to ourselves we will see sin,stumbling and a whole lot of lack of perfection; but if we look to Christ we will see perfection,completeness, mercy and grace. We will see the shed blood that knew no sin and we can understand how someday God will say to us, " Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord."(Mt. 25:21) Needless to say the Lord has transformed my life and more importantly accepted me in His Son whom HE sees standing on my behalf at all times. I now know whom I have believed.. The most wonderful truths are that I don't do it all right-but He already did, I am not faithful - but He is, I don’t even do anything right really- but He has done it all right and died without sin, was resurrected on the third day and now lives in heaven at the right hand of the Father constantly making intercession for me! To Him be all glory forever and ever Amen!
(p.s. The young man and I were engaged the following year and following another 6 month cruise were married in 1989. We still attend the same small local assembly and we are very thankful for the godly, Christ-centered pastor that the Lord provided for us right at the beginning!)
Romans 9:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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