On-Line

I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed.
 My dishes aren't done, and my house is a mess.
 Have not done my work, have not fed the cat,
 Just on line for a second, and popped in to "chat".
 I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex,
 I think I remember...yeah, I used to have SEX!
 I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair,
 Tho' it causes the neighborhood children to stare.
 I wanted to travel around on the Net,
 Been too busy chatting to get on there yet.
 I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint,
 But gettin' on with them is just what I ain't!
 So much to learn and I wanted to but
 I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut,
 Talkin' and listenin'....is it such a sin?
 Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!
 Then up pops a name on my neat Buddy List,
 Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist!
 And in comes a whisper from some weirdo guy
 I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him "bye-bye".
 Is there a 12 step, support group or such?
 For those of us folks who chat on too much?
 If there was a group, I would like it just fine,
 Except that it prob'ly would be here online!
 Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some
 Its got me, its got me, its power is AWESOME.
 It's my new computer, I've had it one week,
 Now I look in the mirror and I see a "geek".
 Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs,
 Please help me, please help me, please get me offline!
 Or better, please Email a burger and fries,
 'Cause I'm staying ONLINE, at least 'til I die!!!


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