This letter is real, and was written by a former POW to the President of
the U.S.
How much more can we say to you, than he has already said? When you are
done, please take the time to write to the President yourself! Demand to
know why the military code has been completely ignored and our soldiers
have been so hideously abandoned!
"Mr. President: I want you to know what I remember every night as I lay
in my bed for many long hours before I finally drift off to sleep. It is
about 10:00 pm. I've just finished eating my ration of cold rice along with
the raw meat of a small bush mouse that I found as I worked in the woods
around my camp. I had to crush the mouse with my foot to kill it. Then I
had to use my teeth, or at least, what's left of my teeth, to tear the
flesh from it's body, fur and all. Meats of any sort are extremely hard to
find in this part of the world, so I was pretty lucky, I guess? I'll have to
bury the remains of the mouse inside my hut. If the V.C. find out that I
had any kind of extra food, I will be beaten for hours. It is very hot and
humid in my hut. I sleep with four other POWs, and all of us smell like
Death. I am one of two Americans, the others are one Aussie and one
Canadian. The Canuck is in really bad shape. One of our Gook guards took a
dislike to him and had him beaten for several hours last night. His jaw is
broken, he lost a few teeth and we think he has at least two broken ribs.
Don't think he will make it to the end of the week. We sit here staring at
him, tears in our eyes and a sickness in our hearts, because we can't lift a
finger to help him. Once a night, every night, someone in one of the huts is
taken out to receive a beating. Not because they've done anything, it's
just the way of the V.C. They tie one of us up to the flag pole and we
become their "Party Toy". They sit around and get drunk and when one of
them feels like it, they come over to us and kick , punch, slap, whip or hit
us with a piece of rubber or wood. The rest of us lay in our huts and we
can hear every punch and kick as they are given. We hear the screams or
the grunts coming from our Brother as he takes the beating. We feel his
every pain just as if we ourselves had been hit. For we all know, only too
well, just how it feels. Somewhere in the night all goes silent. We never
know until the end of the next day if our Brother survived or if he has died.
Sadly, we hoped he had died. He would have then finally escaped from this
"Hole in Hell". Morning arrives with intense heat and pain. The pain comes
from the boot or the gun butt of one of the guards. It also comes from the
feeling of hunger the pains of wounds which have not yet healed. The guards
drag us from our huts by our chains, some by our feet, some by our hair
and some by our genitals. They lauch as we are dragged into the center of
the camp. We stand there under the very hot sun. Many of us have soiled
ourselves during the night. Some out of fear because they have lost control
of their body organs. Many of us have various types of bugs crawling over
our bodies and flies buzzing around the stench of our bodies. Most of us
that still have hair, are fully infected with lice and other skin disorders.
Roll call is taken and we must answer in their language. Any other language
other than Vietnamese, including French is forbidden. I have learned their
tongue very well, as have all of us. We are then marched off. Every day
and every night, it is always the same. We have been here a very long time
now. Many of us are too weak to work, but we try, .....we have to. My
Brothers are dying at the rate of one a month. Each one of us waits for his
day or night to come. SOME NIGHTS as I fall asleep in my hut, I
remember. It is no good to remember. The pain is sometimes too strong to
bare and it will certainly drive you crazy, if nothing else does. But, I do
remember. I remember nights out on patrol, on assignments that were
highly classified. My orders, to seek out and destroy designated targets. I
remember and I enjoy the memory of killing these bastards that, now are
killing me bit by bit. I remember other things too. My wife and the baby
boy she held in her arms as she said goodbye to me "stateside", as I left
for the Nam! My boy would be of age now to serve and as I lay here, I
hope that he never joins up. I hope that, his mother, my wife, has
forgotten about me and found herself another man and another life. I would
not want my son or my wife or my family and friends, to see me as I am
now. At times like this, I cry and in my mind I scream until I finally fall
asleep. I am in another part of the world now, one of those few fortunate
POWs that found a way out of the Nam and back to the real world, but I
never truly left the Nam. It is with me every minute of the day and all
through the long hours of the night. My body has been ruined by the many
beatings that I survived. My mind has been all but destroyed by the many
memories that haunt me, and I can not shake the guilt I feel for having
survived. I will not return home to the U.S., I can not! I know that if I
did, you Mr. President, would label me as a "traitor". I will not allow that
to happen. I can not go back to my family and friends. It is far better
that they believe that I am DEAD. I no longer survive, I only exist. I
speak of the Nam to no one! I lie to get work and I never stay in one place
for too long. I have changed my name and I never make any friends. As in
the Nam, I wait for my turn to DIE! But, I wanted you to know that I am
still ALIVE! A Vietnam Veteran that you abandoned so many years ago. I
will write you again as the years pass. I would not want you to forget about
all my Brothers that died as POWs. I would not want you to forget about
the FEW, that SURVIVED!. I will hope that the day will come for you,
when you must lay in bed as I do, remembering as I do, and sleeping only
when you can't stay awake any longer. I do this for myself, but mostly for
my Brothers that cannot. I made this promise to myself and my brothers as
we lay DYING in a hut in the jungles of Vietnam. They will never be
FORGOTTEN, and you will never be FORGIVEN!!!!!!
POW/MIA Vietnam 1964-1982 (Veteran)"
*** this letter was obtained through the Canadian POW/MIA Info Center***
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