Dear Tech Support:
I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend
7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child
processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention
of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer
run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0
in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
applications.
I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not work on
this program. Can you help me, please?
Thanks, Steve
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Dear Steve,
This is a very common problem that men complain about, but it is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT"
program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert
back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate
Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge
the program files from the system once installed. You can not go back to
Girlfriend 7.0, because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
problems than the original system. Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0
and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their
cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In
any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key, because ultimately you
will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return
to normal.
The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers
2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for
Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support