I have devised this test to give your dog a new, higher self image (unless, of course, he fails it).
I depend on your good conscience to see that he/she has no help once the test begins, and that it is finished on schedule.
Should your dog achieve a passing score, a beautifully executed deploma will be forthcoming, suitable either for framing, or paper training a replacement puppy, should your dog decide he's just to intelligent for the likes of you.
This test was created for those dogs whose owners are too busy to accompany them to obedience classes, and who do not have their own licenses (Driver's).
Study aids have been made available through the courtesy of the Richmond Public Dog Libraries, and we hope your dog has taken advantage of these aids.
Your dog should allow no more than one minute for each question.
You must sign the statement at the end certifying that your dog has received no assistance in the formulation of the answers to these questions, and your dog must affix his/her paw print directly below your signature.
The test should be no more than 15 minutes, and must be timed.
1. When your human says "heel," you must:
a) Smartly step to his left side and sit.
b) Bite his left heel.
c) Tapdance gaily across the room
2. When your human says "down" you must:
a) Assist him into the down position by wrapping your
lead around his legs and running off to one side.
b) Drop to the down position with no resistance.
c) Push the bottom elevator button.
3. When your human says "sit," you must:
a) Ignore him, this exercise is a waste of valuable play
time.
b) Lower your rear quarters to the ground.
c) Have an accident on his foot. pretending you
misunderstood the command.
ESSAY QUESTIONS
Please select one of the following as your essay question, and answer it in 25 words or less, unsing diagrams and illustrations as needed.
1. The Meaning of Live as described by the Tibetan Mastiff.
2. 1001 ways to use the rawhide bone.
3. How to Train your Human (using the food reward method)
4. How to Train your Human (Using the bared teeth method)
5. How not to be trained by your human.
6. Creative Car chasing.
7. How to Locate the best fire hydrants.
Statement: This is to certify that my dog has received no assistance in the completion of this examination_______________.
