SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TO ME!!
VAGABOND
Have you ever had a bad day, and wished someone would talk to you, the way that special friend did years ago? Have you ever felt that sometimes things just weren't worth fighting for anymore? Do you sit on your computer and pretend to be someone you wish you were? Have you found someone on the web that makes you feel that they care, they listen, talk to you, and you know its not for the way you look, its for the way you are? Do they appreciate what you have become, even if they have never seen your face? Why do you depend upon your computer and the people you know here so much, have you ever really questioned that? Who do you care about, and why?
I have asked myself all those questions, been there done that as they say, and I have only been online 4 short months, that feel like years. I have met many people. I have found ones that share their days with me, and have become valued friends. I found ones that are random talkers, you play catch up every few days or once a week. I have ones I rarely talk to anymore, just too busy and time zones don't make it easy I guess. I also have ones that I have ignored or gotten rid of, I don't fancy "cyber" or mentally unstable behavior. All in all, its just like meeting people in life, some come and go, but then.........
You find that person, man or woman, that gives you what you need. A need you didn't realize your were missing, until they entered your little cyberspace world. The kind of friend that has no equal. This page is dedicated to such a friend.
I am careful of my feelings, I live in reality, and I try to be fair in all things. No one can ever accuse me of being judgmental, but I do have a quick temper when I have had enough of something or someone. It is very hard for anyone to get in my head or my heart, which I guard wisely and selfishly. All this came from life's hard knocks, and I'm still learning them. I will never be perfect, and if you think you are, take a long hard look in the mirror, I can guarantee what you see in those eyes will show you that perfect is in the mental state, hiding the real flawed you, and that is the cause of your problems. I tried to be perfect at one time, it was expected, as most of you know, expectations run high and usually your balloon will burst.
I met a man, but not a typical man, here on the web. I went into a chat room for the first time, and when I asked questions he answered. I received kindness and friendship from someone who didn't even know who I was. He accepted me as I was, and that friendship has gotten stronger and more bonding every day. I am talking about a pure friendship love that is rare in the extreme. Just saying hello makes the day brighter and the night less dark. He is the light at the end of the tunnel, and that is something I needed for years, and didn't know it. No anger is spoken between us, we will debate, but never judge. I have never had a man give himself freely, without wanting something in return, but he does. He doesn't expect anything from me other than respect in return, which he receives with all due honors. If you meet him, give him your respect and you will find a friend unequaled. He tells me that I have a gift for words, that I make people feel and think with what I write. Yet, he is the one with the true gift. He can bring tears to your eyes, and a smile to your lips with just a phrase. I give from the heart with my writing, I don't expect anyone to really care how it sounds, but I do appreciate when its held in regard by someone.
I call him my "Knight in Shining Armour", because he helps me no matter what the question is. He deserves that status, you have no idea just how many questions I have.haha He gives me full honesty, when I ask, but in many regards he's like me, if you don't ask you won't find out because I won't tell you.
We are worlds apart, I live in the United States, and he's in Australia, but the time zone doesn't hinder us. We have time for each other no matter what. He gives me things to ponder, and he gives my brain a workout. I appreciate that beyond words. He knows that I'm no dummy, but I don't try hard enough. Its easier to get by in life pretending your not as smart as you are, but because of him, I have grown, and no longer play that game with myself. There isn't anything romantic about our relationship, we are purely wonderful friends, and that makes for the best kind of friendship to have, one that isn't expected. We can speak freely without personal involvement getting in the way. I love him dearly!!
UPDATE: I know this has been a long time coming. I was rarely on the computer for almost two years and lost touch with him. He has since done things to make his world a happier place and I am very very happy for him. He will always have this page to see and remember and I will get to finally meet him soon.
Things in life change, such is the way life is to be played I guess. No one ever said we had to be happy or sad, just that we are better off to accept fate as it comes and not wonder about the "what if's". I tend to agree. This wonderful person moved across the world, got married and lives quietly and happy these days. I wish them all the best in the world. I don't keep in touch with either one any more really...just kinda let life pull me in other directions I guess. I was going to remove this page...but then again...why...he was there when I needed someone and I won't ever forget that. If you ever come here anymore hon...happiness to both of you forever and always.
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